


Kamu/Koma/Hina Theater

by starrylitme



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Dangan Ronpa Zero, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst, Beaches, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Island Mode (Dangan Ronpa), Love Triangles, M/M, Marks, Medical Trauma, Multi, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Canon, Psychological Trauma, Scars, Self-cest, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Suggestive Themes, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2018-12-21 22:00:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 58,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11953515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme
Summary: A series of ficlets taken from prompt requests on my tumblr involving just KamuKoma, KomaHina, KamuKomaHina, and the very occasional KamuHina for prosperity's sake. The verses and warnings will vary from fic to fic. The way I organize it is definitely going to be a little erratic, sorry. :'DPlease enjoy. :D





	1. Love Triangle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fic Prompt: KamuKomaHina love triangle where Hinata is in love with Komaeda but doesn't have the guts to confess and he one day walks in on Kamukura and Komaeda together and is surprised that his twin actually likes someone and upset that it's Komaeda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! This is one of two anthology fics I'm going to try and keep updated consistently while I still have a backlog of fics to post from Tumblr, because my god are there so many. :'D This fic is just for KamuKomaHina twosomes or moresomes and everything else is going to be in the other one. I hope that's more convenient. :'D
> 
> This first fic's going to be on its own to start things up, but as we go on, there's going to be more of an assortment in each chapter with the number of ficlets probably going to depend on length or something like that. Hopefully this works out.
> 
> It might sound a little similar to that KamuKomaHina fic I wrote way back when, but it's definitely different. It's uh, lacking the incest. :'D

“I’m home,” Hinata announces dryly, shutting the door behind him with his back and a sigh.

“Hajime,” Izuru says, and that his low voice is just a little louder than usual does get him perking up. And when Hinata meets his twin’s gaze, seeing an intense seriousness there that’d petrify anyone else, he finds himself swallowing.

“D…Did something…?” Hinata looked around almost anxiously, and finally, finally his gaze landed on the messy head of white lying innocently on Izuru’s lap. Hinata goes still, blinking a few times. The sight shouldn’t be that strange. Komaeda visited often, he was friends with both of them—and there had been days where Komaeda fell asleep against Hinata’s own shoulder.

It’s not that strange on its own. But Izuru is threading his fingers through Komaeda’s hair—Izuru’s serious gaze bores into his own, and Hinata knows this atmosphere is not something to overlook.

“Hajime,” Izuru says again, and then, with a hardening tone, he goes on, “We have something we need to discuss.”

“Right now?” Hinata asks, feeling dazed and dizzy. “I mean, we should probably get Komaeda into a bed or something… And well, it’s been a long day, so, I…”

“Nagito accepted my confession.”

The statement was blunt, cutting him off without warning and any hope of defense. Hinata, leaning harder against the door, only let out a dull, empty, “oh.”

He’s laughing, mirthlessly and bitterly. “ _Oh_. I—I didn’t know you liked him like that.”

 _But you knew,_ Hinata thought, viciously as he glared. _You_ **knew** _I liked him—you had to have known—what even the_ **hell** _, Izuru—_

“I said it on impulse, and he accepted,” Izuru explained and at least he had the decency to look vaguely apologetic. “It…surprised me.”

“It’s pretty surprising,” Hinata agreed. “At most, it only ever seemed like you tolerated people, especially Komaeda.”

“I haven’t liked anyone before,” Izuru said simply, dully. “But when I thought about it and analyzed my feelings—that’s what the conclusion seemed to be.”

“Huh,” Hinata says and he pushes himself off the door. “Well, then. Good for you, Izuru.”

“Hajime, I…” Whatever his twin was going to say, he ended up trailing off. It didn’t matter. Hinata knew him well enough that he could hazard a guess.

(Never mind he apparently didn’t know Izuru that well if he couldn’t even pick up on the possibility his brother liked the _same damn guy_.)

(But this is his own fault. He’d known he liked Komaeda for a while now. He just…didn’t confess sooner because he’s an idiot and a coward. Considering how insecure Komaeda was, maybe it was for the best he had a boyfriend who was considerably assured.)

(Hinata thinks all that—and his resentment doesn’t fade as much as he’d like for it to. It probably doesn’t fade at all, even if he does, in fact, hate himself more than he hates Izuru right now.)

“Hajime…”

Izuru’s trying again. That’s weird. Since when does Izuru need to have a second shot at anything? First try he gets it right—that’s how it’s supposed to be. It’s weird. It’s bizarre.

The idea that his brother would ever date anyone used to be pretty bizarre, too. He might have even laughed at the idea once. There’s nothing amusing about it now unless he just wanted to pick at himself until he fell to pieces.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says, running irritated fingers through his hair. “It’s been a long day. I’m… I’m going to take a nap. Unless it’s an emergency, we don’t need to talk.”

Izuru’s jaw clinked shut and he swallows. Then, he just nods and Hinata nods back before brushing past the couch and—

Komaeda groans and stirs, and that sleepy mumble of _‘Kamukura-kun’_ is more than enough to get Hinata stopped dead in his tracks. The hallway’s right in front of him—and his room is not that much further. He could have just bolted—it would’ve been fine.

“Oh… _Hinata-kun_?”

Finer than this, at least.

Hinata stiffens, a shiver running up his back. He hears the rustling, the shifting of Komaeda pushing himself off the couch—apologizing meekly to Izuru as he did—and finally, of course, those soft footsteps.

“Hinata-kun, welcome home! I’m sorry I couldn’t greet you right away—I just feel asleep!” Komaeda’s chirping like always. Hinata shakes a bit, clenching his fist. He should bolt.

Instead, despite everything, he turns to Komaeda’s cheerful face, and can’t help but smile as adoration and resentment mixed in an overall uncomfortable cocktail of nerves.

“Komaeda, I…” His throat feels dry—almost raw—but he forces the words out as much as he can, “I’m… Just…”

“We ah, need to talk,” Komaeda says, with only a hint of shyness tainting his usual cheer. “Hinata-kun, unless I dreamed it—Kamukura-kun and I are together now.”

To his credit, Hinata didn’t flinch.

_Even though it’s worse to hear **him** say it._

“We’re together,” Komaeda repeats, and then he looks at Izuru helplessly with an adorable tilt of his head. “Right, Kamukura-kun?”

Hinata’s not looking at Izuru—but he can tell the other just nods. Somehow, Komaeda looks no less assured at that, but then, with a deepening frown, he sharply meets Hinata’s gaze. Hinata does startle a bit at the seriousness of Komaeda’s stare.

“Is that alright, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda asks, firmly and softly. “I-I know I’m not…good enough for Kamukura-kun and I don’t want to make things uncomfortable with one of my only friends, but…”

_But it’s too late for that._

“It’s not like I’m Izuru’s keeper,” he says, tone low. “If you two wanna date, go ahead. It’s none of my business as long as you two keep it to yourselves.”

It’s unfair how prettily Komaeda blushes. It’s so unfair how adorably he pouts.

“You’re so vulgar, Hinata-kun. I wouldn’t want you intruding on such a private moment either!”

Hinata almost laughs. His face feels hot and it’s such an _unpleasant_ heat.

“Is that all you were worried about?” he asks, and because he’s an idiot, there’s still fondness in his tone. Komaeda avoids his stare, suddenly sheepish and—right when it looks like he’s about to say something else—something that might’ve even been _significant_ —

Izuru’s hand closes around Komaeda’s thin wrist. Hinata, observant person he’s been established as, hadn’t even noticed when his twin got up. But he does notice there’s something else in said twin’s usual cold, closed off expression as he tugs at Komaeda’s—at his boyfriend’s wrist.

“Nagito,” Izuru says. “It really was not necessary of you to worry about Hajime’s approval.”

“It wasn’t,” Hinata agrees.

Komaeda looks between the two of them, uncertain and insecure, but quickly nods and bows his head meekly.

“Ah, right… I’m sorry Hinata-kun, Kamukura-kun… I didn’t want to bother either of you…”

“It’s fine.” Somehow, they spoke at the same time. They traded looks and Hinata didn’t know what to think of that. He wondered if Izuru did know—maybe he did. Izuru seemed to know everything, after all.

It didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered. Like he’d ever be able to compare to him.

_Really what was the point in wanting **anything**?_

It wasn’t even about just Komaeda—it was about everything. And honestly, Hinata was just—

So tired. Of everything.

“I’m going to my room,” he says, gruffly and turning away from Izuru and Komaeda both. “Wake me if there’s a fire or whatever.”

“Oh! Have a good rest, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda calls after him, polite as always—clueless as always. At least Izuru knew not to say a word.

And, it’s funny. As Hinata shuts the door to his room behind him—he feels like he’s been kept away from something important. If only he could realize just what that something was.

But he also feels like that’d just overly complicate everything if he did.

(He’ll thank himself for this later, if nothing else.)


	2. KomaHina - Two Heated Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment taking place in the hot bath during a storm. Another taking place on the beach on a hot day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both are post-sdr2/dr3 and I was just asked for something sweet/fluffy both times. I came up with the prompts myself. I paired them up since they're at least a little similar and of comparable length.

_**Storm** _

 

“Crashing thunder! Flashing lightning! Such a beautiful display of chaos and destruction puts even despair to shame!!”

“And if you keep gushing instead of scrubbing yourself,” Hinata notes, dipping his fingers into the bath. “The water will get cold.”

Thunder boomed outside as Komaeda simply laughed, pouring soap onto the sponge as he did. “Ehehe, true, true…”

“Seriously how are you not burning up?” Hinata asks dryly. “Just being near your spa bath is making me sweat.”

“You’re still free to join me!”

“My answer’s still _no thanks_.”

“So boring!” Komaeda complains, and he starts with scrubbing his arms. “We could have an utterly intimate moment between lovers, and you turn me down!”

Komaeda’s face is flushed from the heat. His hair is done up in the kind of neat bun that really _should_ be pulled out. There were still so many bruises.

“Oh well,” Komaeda sighs, turning away and starting work on his legs. Of course Hinata stares, taking in the bruising scattered across his inner thighs—those symmetrical scars are as sharply pallid as ever, even on Komaeda’s already fair skin. There are a few damp strands loose from the bun, curving just so over the nape of his neck.

He did that bun himself. It should have been perfect—but maybe that present if slight imperfection was _intentional_. He already wants to twirl those strands around his fingers, maybe suck moisture from the tresses. He also wants to bite at least one of those pale shoulders and—oh, maybe that knee, too…

“So submerging my arm in the water isn’t an issue, right?” Komaeda asks suddenly, snapping him out of it if only briefly.

“Huh…? Oh, no. No, it’s pretty water-proof. I know how much you like soaking in baths so…”

“How considerate,” Komaeda says with a laugh, flashing him a pretty smile. Hinata shallowed and manages a smile back. When Komaeda turns back to clean himself, that smile quickly falters as Hinata pinched the bridge of his nose.

_Can I even say it’s just the heat…?_

Ugh, it sounded like a lie even when unvoiced. He can already imagine Kamukura Izuru scoffing at him—and Hinata Hajime looking disgusted.

_That’s nonsense, too._ He can’t help but think. _It’s not like this is just anyone. It’s Komaeda. **Our** Komaeda Nagito._

“Hinata-kun.”

“Ah… Huh?”

Komaeda pushed himself up, seating himself on the bathtub’s side, still turned away, but still with an air of expectation.

“You’ll scrub my back for me, won’t you?”

“Oh…” He’s already grabbed the soaped sponge, squeezing it tight. “Yeah, yeah, of course.”

_Oh,_ he thinks as he starts. _He has scars here, too._

There are scars that were obviously from scratch marks.

His grip is almost tight enough to whiten his knuckles, but he quickly takes a deep breath, calming himself as he cleans. He’s gentle, of course. Komaeda hums, and—

Komaeda’s stroking himself almost idly.

“Don’t dirty the tub, Nagito.”

“Ah, but it’ll be washed away by the water, right?” Komaeda asks him cheekily.

Hinata just grabs his wrist, pulling it away. Despite everything, Komaeda allows it.

“Look,” he says, almost carefully. “It’s…just not the right mood, alright?”

“Alright,” Komaeda parrots without a problem. Then he giggles as Hinata finishes up his back. “You’re sure, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata urges him back into the water. He goes. He rinses himself off, and Hinata has his arms folded on the bath’s edge, his chin atop his arms.

“You really don’t have any shame, do you?”

“Why do you ask?” Komaeda returns so cheerfully. “I’ve said before I don’t mind being seen naked by you.”

“I… I guess I’m just a little envious, the more I think about it…” He trails off, averting his gaze. “You used to make this face when I’d see some of your scars…”

“Ah… Oh…” Komaeda’s smile slowly drops. There’s a flash in the window. “You said you didn’t mind those, Hinata-kun…”

“I said that I wouldn’t find you disgusting because of the scars. After all, some of them…really weren’t your fault,” Hinata swallows and, “You were smiling at the time, but, you really were worried about me being repulsed, huh?”

“If I said I wasn’t, you’d know that was a lie,” Komaeda answered almost dully. Somehow, he manages a smile, but it’s smaller than before. “It’s really tasteless of you to bring that up now! I don’t mind your taking your anger out on me, but—maybe avoid such low blows? Haha…”

“That’s not what I…” He stopped himself and just shook his head. “If I do that again, you can punch me if you want.”

“With the robot hand? It wouldn’t break, right?” Komaeda asks, looking at his said robotic hand with curiosity.

“Nah, it’s pretty sturdy. Hit as hard as you want.”

“Ooh!” Komaeda immediately switched from fascinated to unimpressed. “I would never do that, of course. I hate the idea of hurting you.”

Hinata blinked back, and quietly replied, “Same here. I’m… I’m really, really sorry, Nagito. I hadn’t… I hadn’t wanted you to be upset, but… That was still a pretty stupid thing of me to say, huh?”

“Hmm. Hey, Hinata-kun, the reason why I seem to lack shame… Do you really not know why?”

He perked up, but didn’t answer.

Komaeda was grinning, bright and radiant and perfect.

“Because you look at me with so much love that any shame I would feel just  _washes away_. It’s really quite incredible!”

Hinata didn’t say anything to that. He just stared back, lips ajar before he snorted, bursting into laughter.

“That’s—That’s really, uh…”

Komaeda’s wet robotic hand cups his cheek, the thumb running over his lips. Hinata’s breathing seized, but he was nice and pliant when Komaeda tugged him into a kiss.

It was soft and brief. And then Komaeda pulled away and stood.

“Well, I think I’m clean enough. And the water’s getting a little cold for my tastes anyway.

“Oh…” Hinata tried to keep his stare on his face instead of the dripping form before him. As Komaeda unplugged the tub and slipped out, Hinata didn’t even try to look away from his rump. “Yeah… You look great.”

Komaeda shot him a cheeky grin, and covered up with the towel that had been hung up.

“I just finished getting clean, Hinata-kun,” he says sweetly and matter-of-factly. “So you’ll have to wait, _right_?”

“…Do I…?”

“You do!”

He didn’t.

 

**_Beach_ **

 

The ocean’s surface is glimmering, and despite the rolling waves, everything for the most part looked clear and calm. Seagulls fluttered overhead, the sun was bright, and the sky was an impressive shade of blue. If he looked elsewhere, he’d probably see some of the others attacking the water, with how far Owari and Nidai could take their sparring, and depending if Tanaka thought there and then was a good time for dolphin training. But for now, the ocean was unstirred by everything except its own tide. And it’s beautiful, of course, but it’s also–

“So hot~!” Komaeda gasped, leaning against Hinata’s shoulder harder, fanning himself with a paper fan. Even in his handmade sun hat, he seemed to be sweltering. “Hinata-kun, I’m _melting_!”

“I told you it’d be hot out,” Hinata mutters in exasperation, even as unconditional fondness seeps into his tone. “Just because I’ve treated you doesn’t mean you’re completely healthy. You really should be more careful, Komaeda.”

Komaeda pouted at him. “Add an electric fan to my hand.”

“Oh lord.” Hinata rolled his eyes. “I already told you–I can’t add a bunch of frivolous things just because. It’ll get too heavy.”

Komaeda flexed his robotic fingers, making little mechanical whirls as he did.

“I can handle a little extra weight.”

“No chance. Even if it’s a little, I’m not straining your shoulder.”

“Hinata-kun, you’re cruel.”

“I spoil you.”

Komaeda frowned up at him, unimpressed and firm. “You’re _cruel_.”

Hinata frowned back in annoyance, raising an eyebrow.

“Let me have your water bottle,” Komaeda said.

Hinata handed it over with a sigh, unscrewing it before he did, and Komaeda didn’t hesitate for a second before drinking.

And of course, Hinata couldn’t help but stare as he drank, taking in the dampness of his lips, his throat–

“Ah, no,” Komaeda says, pulling away to smack his reaching hand. “Even if you’re thirsty, you need to wait your turn, Hinata-kun.”

“…Right…” Hinata swallowed. “Right.”

Komaeda took another gulp, and returned the bottle with a bright smile. Unsurprisingly, Hinata just tossed it aside and instead cupped Komaeda’s face, thumb running over his wet lips before leaning in for a kiss.

“Ah, Hina… Hinata-kun,” Komaeda breathes between the smacking of their lips, breath coming out in hot puffs against his mouth. “Hinata-kun, your… Your taste is too warm…”

“Do you want to stop?” Hinata asks simply. Komaeda shakes his head. He takes Hinata’s hands from his cheeks, tugging them down against his jaw and neck.

“Your hands are cool enough. If you touch me everywhere, I think I’ll tolerate it more…”

“Geez, we’ll be scolded if someone sees,” Hinata mutters, even if he’s not really that annoyed.

“That’s fine, because,” Komaeda leans in, lips nearly brushing against his with each word. “Truth be told, I enjoy flaunting how much you adore me in front of the others…”

Hinata can’t help but laugh.

“What the hell, why is that something you want to flaunt?”

“Mm, who knows,” Komaeda muses, hiding his mouth with the fan he’s picked back up. “Maybe it can be a show of superiority? To show that I’m the favorite of everyone’s beloved Hinata Hajime-kun…”

“That’s terrible.”

“I don’t think so. It’s not like I manipulated you after all. Someone like me wouldn’t be able to, so, I…”

“Hey.” Hinata stops him, actually looking annoyed for once. “Stop that. You’re plenty manipulative.”

“Oh, Hinata-kun…” Komaeda can’t help but giggle, annoying him further. “You charm me, Hinata-kun.”

“I don’t mean to,” he grumbles. “But you downplaying yourself is dangerous for both of us.”

“If you say so,” Komaeda chirped cheerfully. “But isn’t loving someone in itself pretty dangerous?”

“Definitely,” Hinata agreed immediately. But soon, he went on. “But it’s a danger worth partaking in.”

“Ooh, how cheesy,” Komaeda purrs. “Is that your SHSL Sap talent coming into play?”

“S-Shut up!!”

“Make me.” Then, Komaeda set the fan back down, smile wide and lashes lowered as he leaned back in. “This conversation is getting a little too heated, don’t you think? Hinata-kun, please, cool _me_ _**off**_.”

Komaeda did feel incredibly warm to the touch as Hinata ran his thumb over the curve of his cheek. Swallowing, he ran his hand downwards, and Komaeda pressed so eagerly back. With how he hummed pleasurably, Hinata couldn’t help but think– _ **dangerous**_.


	3. KamuKoma - Some Flowers and Some Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three flowers; three kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting into just the more general tumblr prompt requests. And stuff that's just a bit darker, aha. KamuKoma is despairing sometimes, but I really love it so much. oqo

**_Azalea - fragile and ephemeral passion_   
**

 

“Such talent, even to your fingertips,” Komaeda murmured playing with the other’s fingers. “Aah, it really will be such a despairing loss!”

Komaeda pressed up closer against him, leaching away more of his warmth. He breathed in the smell of death, decay, and wilted flowers with a sigh.

“Do you really mean that?”

“Ehehe, you don’t need to sound so pout-y,” Komaeda giggled teasingly. “You’re the one who decided this, after all. And what a decision it was! To sacrifice yourself for the eradication of despair and the blossoming of true hope! Amazing! How admirable! I’ve definitely fallen in love!”

Kamukura said nothing to that as Komaeda snuggled up against him.

“I’ve definitely fallen in love,” he murmured. “I love you. I’m so sad I’ll be forgetting you.”

“Boring,” Kamukura said simply. And yet, his fingers ran through Komaeda’s hair all the same.

“…That person you used to be…can you tell me his name?” Komaeda asked, blinking those doe eyes up at him.

“There is no point. You will forget now and will only truly learn it when you meet him later. It is unnecessary.” A pause. “Boring.”

“What about your name?” Komaeda pressed, eyes brightening with a fervent flame. “Even if I forget, I want to know. I want to know the name of the person I’ve fallen in love with.”

“Unnecessary,” he repeated. “You really are so boring.”

“You’re so cold!” Komaeda exclaimed, puffing out his cheeks and then sighing. Quieter, he asked. “Are you afraid?”

“No.”

“Ahaha, you really are incredible. Even if I’d gleefully do the same as you, I can’t help but think I’d be a little frightened of dying,” Komaeda sighed, and brushed some of the hair from Kamukura’s face. “At least, dying alone sounds so despairing. I won’t even remember you. Doesn’t that sound despairing?”

“It does not matter,” he said. “I do not matter. My existence will meet its end and that will be that. Your existence as it is will meet its end as well, Komaeda Nagito. So worrying yourself or concerning yourself with matters is foolish.”

Komaeda blinked back at him, and then he buried his face in the other’s chest.

“…Aha… My feelings for you just strengthened. No surprise, because I really am beyond foolish! I am…” He quiets. “So…so foolish…”

He begins to shake.

Kamukura does not say anything, but he does run his fingers through Komaeda’s matted, wilted hair, and held the other close as the stench of death and the end encompasses them both.

 

_**Camellia - my destiny is in your hands** _

 

“You are free to do with me as you wish.”

Komaeda sucked in his lips, tilting his head.

“I’m not sure what you mean, Kamukura-kun,” he said. “Are you really pledging servitude to someone like me? I really don’t understand. What brought this about?”

“More or less, I am declaring my devotion,” Kamukura replied simply. He was still kneeling before him. Like a knight. So gallant. And so bizarre. “My destiny is in your hands, Komaeda Nagito, whether you choose to accept or reject.”

Komaeda blinked. And then, he perked up, realizing.

“Oh! This is a confession! That makes even less sense!” he exclaimed, bewildered. “Why on  _earth_  would you confess to someone like me?!”

Kamukura meets his gaze beneath those long, lowered lashes.

“You are the one I decided on. So you it is. This is only the reasonable course of action.”

“Um,” Komaeda hesitated, smile cheerful but strained. “No, it, really isn’t.”

Kamukura frowned—no,  _pouted_? Oh. Adorable.

“Is that a rejection, then?”

“I…” He holds his tongue, thinks it over, and he shakes his head. Lowering himself as he should, he reached out and took Kamukura’s hands, They were warm, and larger than his own. Still, he squeezed. “No. No. I…accept your weird, bewildering feelings, Kamukura-kun. I… I guess this is why my cabin caught on fire…as well as the kitchen…and the lounge…and half of the island…cleanup for that is going to be awful but at least no one got hurt…”

Kamukura blinked at him. He laughed, and stammered on.

“B-But, if we’re together… I’m sure it’ll be fine…”

Another blink. Kamukura nodded in return, and squeezed his hands in return.

_Yeah,_ Komaeda thought, mind and heart going a mile a minute amidst what he’s sure was internal, incoherent screaming.  _It’ll be fine._

 

_**Elder - compassion** _

 

“It feels unreal, doesn’t it?” Gentle fingertips brush against his temple, wiping away the cold sweat. He blinks a few times, and that tender smile before him blurs a bit, but it refocuses perfectly each and every time. “Waking up…really feels unreal, doesn’t it?”

“This is reality,” he said simply. A little too quietly.

“But it doesn’t feel that way, does it?” The question is still gentle. Still tender.

“That would be illogical.” The response is sharper.

“Oh, Izuru-kun, you know that emotions aren’t logical by  _nature_ ,” Nagito sighs, and his arms loop around his neck. Nagito holds him, securely but not so tightly that it would hurt. Not that it’d ever hurt. No, Nagito would never hurt him.

He would never be able to.

Mutely, his arms wrap around Nagito in return. Without realizing it was coming, a shiver ran up his spine. And then, another. Nagito was shushing him softly, running his fingers through his hair.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” he whispered. “I’m here, Izuru-kun. I’m here. You’re here. We’re here.”

His grip on Nagito tightened.

“It’s only fair, isn’t it?” Nagito asked him sweetly. “Izuru-kun held me like this when I woke up screaming. I really do love, you, Izuru-kun. I love you.”

He doesn’t say anything, but he does bury his face in Nagito’s shoulder when Nagito turns, and presses a kiss against his temple.

 

_**A Hot Kiss** _

 

“You really do give off a lot of heat,” Komaeda purrs, pressing closer to his warmth and nuzzling into his shoulder with a muffled laugh. “Like a furnace! SHSL Space Heater!”

Contrastly, Komaeda was unsurprisingly cold but he warmed up quickly under his touch. He could barely produce any heat of his own, with how weak and feeble this sickly body of his was, but soaking in heat, absorbing it from his own…

“Hey,” Komaeda says, light and chirpy. “Kamukura-kun, kiss me. I’m still cold.”

“Comparatively, you are,” Kamukura replies, cupping his cheek. With a crooked smile and a half-lidded gaze, Komaeda pressed back against his touch. “But that’s not why you want me to kiss you, is it, Komaeda Nagito?”

Komaeda hums thoughtfully.

Despite everything, despite himself, Kamukura had already tugged him closer, and Komaeda was quick to close the rest of the distance.

His lips were cold in comparison, but the inside of his mouth wasn’t with the muffled sounds and groans between wet smacks only growing more and more heated. Komaeda had already pulled him as close as possible. It would have been easy to break his grasp.

He didn’t. He allowed it. He allowed Komaeda just melting into him.

Komaeda, gasping, eyes watery and smile wide with those swelling, reddening lips.

“Kamukura-kun, so warm–but you’re still too  _cold_.”

Komaeda nudges him with those lips brushing against his own, letting out breathy laughter as he did.

“You’re so cold, Kamukura-kun.”

 

_**A Sad Kiss** _

 

“Kamukura-kun, Kamukura-kun.”

Arms wrap tightly around his neck, bright, desperate eyes met his own. In brief, chilled puffs of air against his mouth, Komaeda breathed.

His cheeks were still wet. His frail frame was shaking hard enough to shatter to pieces.

“Kamukura-kun, Kamukura-kun.”

He’s still begging, still pushing against hysteria.

“You’re only going to feel worse later,” Kamukura said simply, coldly. Komaeda whined.

And then, he laughed, high-pitched wheezy and broken, burying his face in Kamukura’s shoulder and breaking into laughter-lacen sobs.

“I don’t care,” he says, giggling and hiccuping as he did. “I don’t care, Kamukura-kun. I just want it to stop now. I-I can’t… I can’t bear to think… I’m… I feel like I’m going to throw up…”

_Boring._  Kamukura thinks. But, Komaeda’s arms around him tighten, and Komaeda presses into him harder as his shaking worsens.

“I’m sorry…” His voice is barely above a harsh, broken whisper. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry–I didn’t want this, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have… I’ll be good, I’ll be…”

A hitched, unmistakable sob. And nothing else but that sob.

“I’m scared, I’m scared… I don’t want to die…”

Idly stroking his hair leads to the quivering lessening, little by little. Komaeda peers up at him, gray-greens wide, watery, and swirling. There are tears running down his cheeks–the whites of those eyes look red.

“Kamukura-kun,” he says, and pleads again. “ _Kamukura-kun_.”

Kamukura kisses him deeply enough to be suffocating.

 

_**A Hope We Don’t Get Caught Kiss** _

 

“Kamukuraaaaa-seeeeenpai!!”

That girl’s voice was intentionally shrill, more playful than annoyed. She probably knew. She must’ve known. She should’ve known.

He could’ve laughed, but if there was a chance she didn’t, like hell he wanted to risk it. It wasn’t so often that Kamukura was so close to him, close enough to be surrounded by his warmth and presence. Close enough that he was pressed to Kamukura’s chest, against a steady, strong heartbeat.

The world could’ve collapsed then and there. If that wretched girl found them, it probably would. The anticipation and not quite uncertainty had him thrilling, almost vibrating and…

Kamukura’s warm hand cups his cheek, and tilts his face upwards. He’s immediately still. Kamukura’s kiss was firm and warm. But gentle!  _So gentle!_

He shuddered once, and then, with a hitched breath, he swoops up for another kiss.

Kamukura holds him steady. They barely make a sound.

That girl leaves to go elsewhere.

But they stay in that locker for a while.


	4. KamuKoma - 11 Semi-NSFW Meme Ficlets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ficlets from the Semi-NSFW ask meme.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a lot of requests for KamuKoma on this one. More so than any other pairing. By a considerable margin, I think. :D

**… grinding up against the other**

 

Komaeda can be as needy as he is greedy. He doesn’t hide his brief, excited glances, the rising blush in his face, he certainly doesn’t suppress his squirms when the most being done is Kamukura simply squeezing his shoulders. He doesn’t even muffle a gasp or a moan. Shameless, really.

He doesn’t mind.

If anything, he encourages it.

“K-Kamukura- _kun_ …!”

Komaeda is nothing short of pliant, even while pinned to the wall, even when carelessly but carefully rut against. There is a particular way to do things, even for seemingly inherently graceless actions like this. Komaeda has distinct responses depending on what is being stimulated.

His neck, for instance, tends to invoke soft whines. Grinding against his sharply defined hip resulted in breathy intakes of air. His thighs and groin were especially sensitive. Already he was pushing the point where his trembling legs threatened to give out underneath him.

So he raises Komaeda by a firm grip on his waist. Immediately, to further steady himself, Komaeda’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, legs hitching around his own waist. He held on tighter when he nipped at that defined collarbone, and desperately moaned when his hips thrust against his groin.

Already, he was close. It never took much. Even after all this time, his stamina was so quick to give out.

“Ah, ah, Kamukura-kun… Please…  _Please_ …”

Shameless, really. He doesn’t mind.

If anything…he encourages it.

 

**… moaning the other’s name**

 

“Kamukura-kun, oh,  _Kamukura-kun_ …”

“Noisy.” He shoved his fingers into Nagito’s mouth. Of course, that resulted in him sucking on them, moaning even more in spite being muffled.

“Ka _muuuu_ …”

“You are being too noisy, Nagito,” he muttered into the other’s ear, making him shiver. “And so loud. You will not be able to hear anything I say, at this rate.”

“M- _Mmm_ …!”

“Nagito,” Kamukura’s voice lowers as he nips at his ear. “Behave. Be _have_. Are you listening?”

Nagito swallowed and nodded furiously, accidentally grazing his teeth against his fingers because of it. That was fine. He didn’t mind that at all.

“I-I… It’s hard though…” Nagito laughed a little, wheezy and nervously. “Kamukura-kun…feels…so…so…”

“Boring.” He huffed. “I have no use for someone so disobedient.”

Nagito grips his wrist desperately before he can pull his hand away, sucking harder and more desperately onto his fingers.

“Mm… No… No, please…! P-Please…”

“Hush, then.” He kissed Nagito’s temple. “I do not want anyone overhearing this, Nagito. Because I do not want the opportunity to arise for someone else  _seeing_  you like this.”

“M… Mm…hmm…”

 

**… giving a lap dance**

 

Komaeda kisses his feet first before meekly pushing himself up, desperate eyes gazing upon him with watery reverence. He shakily steadies himself on Kamukura’s knees, swallowing as he pulls himself up as to climb into his lap. He has to hold onto him tight so as to not end up toppling over the edge and landing flat on his back. Thin arms wrap around his neck, and Komaeda lets out the most pitiful whine.

“What…should I do?” Komaeda asks softly, shakily, almost tearfully. Already. “I-I… I’m already so honored…you’re even allowing this much but…but… T-There must be some sort of catch…”

“I do not care,” he said simply and coldly. “You are to do as you wish, Komaeda Nagito.”

Komaeda laughs, and then shakes his head.

“N-No… No… No, there has to be more to it…”

“There is not.”

“W-What if! I-I… I make this more…enjoyable for you?” Komaeda rocks against him suddenly, ignoring his statement. Komaeda is hard. He is not. If anything, his eyes narrow as he feels Komaeda quite tangibly falter against him. “I-I… Oh… Oh… N-No, no…”

Another shaky laugh, almost sounding like a pained hiss, and then breaking into wheezy breaths.

“N-No, no… That… O-Of course not that… How stupid could I  _be_? S-Someone like Kamukura Izuru-kun… There’s no way you’d… You…”

“I…” He pauses for a moment, and then he sighs. “I do not care. Do as you wish.”

Komaeda whimpers, and then, he once against ruts against him in his lap, clinging harder, closer, with a small gasp escaping his lips.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“…It’s fine, Komaeda.” Another sigh as Komaeda moans and shivers. “It’s fine.”

 

**… being drenched whilst wearing white**

 

“Hahaha, I… I really am unlucky…! To get even Kamukura-kun caught up in this…!”

“I don’t care.” He’s already wringing water from his hair. “It is fortunate that I forgo-ed wearing my suit jacket today.”

“Fortunate…? Even though the shirt underneath was…?”

Kamukura gives him a look, and he shuts his mouth. As would normally be the case under that piercing crimson gaze, except…instead his eyes are stuck on the other’s broad chest, to which the dripping, transparently wet white shirt is stuck to, leaving no necessary imaginary to its curves, its muscular structure…the dark pink of his…

“You’re drooling, Nagito.”

He hurriedly wiped it away, flustered and apologizing profusely, laughing hysterically that, “I really am depraved! Disgusting! Despicable! Just the worst, just the  _worst_ –!”

Kamukura sighs, and reaches out, brushing the wet strands from Komaeda’s face. Komaeda was trembling, flushed pink, and he flinched as Kamukura’s fingers ran through the damp strands.

“Let’s get your dried off, Nagito. You could catch a cold.”

“I…” Komaeda swallows and then giggles nervously. “I think I’m in danger of  _overheating_ , actually.”

 

**… leaping into the other’s arms**

 

It starts with the excited pitter-patter of steps, then a squeal of his name, and only a two second warning before Komaeda springs his body on him, and he has to react quickly because of the tray he’s carrying.

It’s simple enough.

“Izuru- _KUN_ ~!”

He tosses it up and Komaeda’s arms wrap around his neck first, legs wrapping around his waist second and supporting his weight with an arm wrapped around his rump is the easiest part. Komaeda’s light, and he clings to him tightly, and retaining his balance is easy enough as well.

He catches the tray with his free hand, everything in tact, and Komaeda nuzzles his neck, giggling.

“It’d be easier to just dodge me when you’re carrying something,” he says cheerfully, squeezing him tighter, both around his neck and around his waist. “But when you said you’d always catch me, you meant it, huh?”

“Of course I did,” Kamukura replies, scoffing. “You doubted me?”

“Never, never!”

 

**… trying to turn the other on… successfully turning the other on**

 

“Is it true that Kamukura-kun has no likes or dislikes?”

“I’ve already told you that is so, Nagito.”

Komaeda giggles, wrapping his arms around him from behind, and kissing his clothed shoulder.

“Eh, really? So you don’t even have preferences?” He parts the long ebony hair so that he can nip at Kamukura’s neck, humming all the while. “What about sensitive spots, weak points?”

“If there are weaknesses, the researchers failed their objective by quite the margin,” Kamukura huffs at him. He does not shiver as Komaeda kisses up his neck and nuzzles his jaw. “My body’s too desensitized. In addition to the excessive threshold for pain tolerance, it means pleasure is also…”

He trails off as Komaeda kisses him, eyes shut and clearly not interested in the words. Kamukura almost sighs against the kiss, but instead, he deepens it, pressing Komaeda closer, and listening to how the other moans. Komaeda is flushed, half-lidded and dazed as he pulls away.

“N-Not fair… I’m supposed to be seducing  _you_ , Kamukura… Izuru-kun…”

_That face is an effective start._ He thinks, licking his lips.  _Such an erotic expression._

 

**… turning the other off**

 

“Kamukura-kun, Kamukura-kun, Kamukura-kun, Izuru-kun!”

Komaeda pressed eagerly into his touch, humming happily with quite the remarkable flush. Over and over again, he chanted his name, rubbing his cheek against the cloth in his grip, purring and crooning and–

It’s endearing, but inconvenient.

“Izuru- _kuuu_ –”

“Hush.” He shushed him gently and firmly and Komaeda shut his mouth and stilled obediently. He still observed him avidly with wide, glimmering gray-greens. Kamukura sprayed him in the face, making him yelp. “You need to be  _cleaned_ , Nagito.”

“K-Kamukura-kun!” This time the whine sounded more annoyed and exasperated than aroused or erotic. Good. Komaeda was puffing his cheeks at him.  _Cute._

Kamukura sprayed him in the face again, corner of his lips twisting as Komaeda squealed in protest.

“Stop that!”

“…You’re cute.”

Komaeda looked more unimpressed than flattered. And that was…also good.

Preferable.

_Easier._

 

**… spanking the other**

 

He yelps at just the first smack.  
  
“It’s because you don’t know how to behave.”  
  
The second smack, swifter than the one before, sends him into a shuddering mess.

“And because you  _asked_ for this.”

Another smack, swiftly followed by another, and then another, another, another–

“You asked to be punished like this for misbehaving, and then you misbehaved.”

He’s starting to laugh through welling up tears.

“Why even bother with a procedure? You should have just asked to be over my knee like this from the start. You  _wasted_  my time and patience, Nagito.”

“S-Sorry…” Another smack, another muffled yelp. “I-I’m sorry…!”

He pulls his hand back, sighing, rubbing the back of his thigh as Komaeda continued to shiver. He was laughing, crying, and so painfully, shamefully aroused.

“I-I’m disgusting, I know… I know…” The giggle sounded hysterical. Pained. “I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry, Kamukura-kun…”

“You’re forgiven.” He doesn’t miss a beat. Komaeda sobs in relief.

“K-Kamukura-kun is so kind! So good even to someone like me! So much more than I deserve!”

His eyes narrow, gaze briefly averting, and he simply sighs.

“…You’re  _fine_ , Nagito. You’re fine.”

 

**… bending over seductively to pick something up for the other**

 

“Nagito…”

“Hmm…?” Nagito glanced up at him between heavily-lidded eyes, eyelashes batting, smile widening. Expectant. “Yes, Kamukura-kun?”

“Bending over like that with your rump so high in the air would put strain on your lower back,” Kamukura said simply without missing a beat. “While I do not mind your transparent attempts at seduction, I do worry about your posture.”

Nagito’s smile fell and he snatched up his fallen papers, straightening himself with a huff.

“Read the atmosphere!” he snapped, slamming the papers down on the desk. “Or at least focus on the important things, Kamukura-kun!”

“Posture is very important,” Kamukura replied, either obtuse or indifferent. Nagito got even more flustered. There was a pause. “I apologize. You can bend over again and I’ll react more appropriately.”

“…Appropriately…” Nagito repeated, unimpressed, and then he sighed, bursting into strained laughter. “Kamukura-kun, you’re  _amazing_.”

_That’s sarcasm._

And yet, Nagito’s smile was fond and sincere. Kamukura stiffened for a bit, but quickly relaxed.

 

**… leaving hickeys on the other’s neck**

 

With how high his pain tolerance was, it didn’t hurt. It still felt like a mild buzz, even as Komaeda grinds his teeth against his skin and pulls back with a gasp. And he pouts yet again when the mark fades.

“Kamukura-kun’s accelerated healing really is so annoying and amazing,” Komaeda huffs. “It’s annoyingly amazing and amazingly annoying.”

“It is what it is,” Kamukura replied simply with a sigh. “It is best to just give up, Nagito. You don’t have much strength in your jaw anyway.”

Komaeda puffs out his cheeks. “No.”

And he leans back in, biting down hard on his neck. Kamukura hums noncommittally, but allows it with a softer sigh than before, eyes falling shut.

_So stubborn, Komaeda Nagito._

Still.

It wasn’t like he minded.

At all.   

 

**… trying to go down on the other, under the table, during dinner**

 

“Weren’t you the one who said I needed to eat more?”

“…This obviously is not what I meant.”

“It’s a creative interpretation of the words,” Komaeda offers with a light, airy giggle. “Besides, what other meal is so  _filling_?”

His gaze flickers towards Komaeda’s plate, which was cleaned, but only ever had meager portions. Eyes narrowing, he simply pushed the other away from his lap, more precisely his groin.

“If you want seconds, I’ll prepare you another portion,” Kamukura said simply, flicking his chopsticks in Komaeda’s direction. “There will be more nutrients, and it’ll be easier to swallow, I assure you.”

“Eh~? You think so~?” Komaeda asks, sing-songs really, with a curious tilt of his head. “Ehehe, but if it’s Kamukura-kun, I think…”  
  
He pushes himself up, and immediately, Kamukura moves and catches the top of his head before it can bang against the table’s underside. Komaeda still flinches, blinking up at him with wide doe eyes, and he can only sigh.

“…Get out from under there, Nagito. I’ll make you something else to eat.”

“I…” Komaeda, as he idly ruffles his hair, nods meekly. “O…Okay, Kamukura-kun… Sorry for the trouble…”

 


	5. KomaHina - 8 Dialogue Prompts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Island Mode AUs, some post-sdr2, maybe post-dr3... Non-Despair, maybe...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In contrast to last chapter, these are all safe for work, haha.

**“How can you still look so attractive while crying.”**

The second Komaeda had bitten into that dumpling, they both just knew, and neither were surprised even as Hinata had tried and failed to laugh off the inevitability of it. Moment of truth, no turning back, and admirably, Komaeda chewed as tears welled up in his eyes and swallowed.

“I-It’s delicious…!” he both gasps and pants as Hinata just pours him a glass of milk with a sigh. “It’s so good…! So good I’m in tears…!”

“That’s the sriracha sauce, probably. Or is it even spicier than that?” Watching Komaeda practically chug the milk could’ve provided an answer, but he’s not sure and he’s more…worried by how burning red Komaeda’s cheeks have gotten, how the tears are trickling down, how he hiccups from drinking too fast afterwards. And, god, he’s worried because Komaeda is just… _despairingly_ precious.

So precious. So adorable.

“It…really was good…” Komaeda laughs lightly, more like, wheezes. “But… I still lost, huh? It looks like I really do…have the worst luck…”

“How can you still look so  _attractive_  while crying?”

A pause. Komaeda blows his nose on a napkin, gives him a polite smile, and Hinata’s face feels so hot he might as well have downed an entire bottle of the hot sauce in Komaeda’s dumpling.

“…Um…”

“I-I didn’t say anything,” Hinata stammered out. “You were imagining it. Um. Do you want…ice cream or something?”

“Ah,” Komaeda blinks and smiles cheerily. Even with red eyes, red cheeks, and a slightly runny nose, god _damn_ –“I’d really like that, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata can only swallow, throat feeling so dry that he’s tempted to wolf down the rest of that dumpling so that he’d have an excuse to down so much water.

 

**“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”**

“Of course it’s been rough,” Hinata says this with a laugh as he undoes his tie. The deft way he does is almost enough to distract from the subtle shadows under his eyes. “They’re all counting on me for a lot of things after all, so…”

“So of course they overwork you like a mule,” Komaeda replies with an easy air, hands clasped behind his back as he did. “You’re the ultimate tool, to be utilized to the fullest possible extent. Do they even see you as a human, not a machine, I wonder?”

“That’s…” Hinata sets his tie aside. “It’s entirely possible… But I don’t mind that either.”

“I think I do,” Komaeda huffs. “As your friend, I find this dehumanizing a little thoughtless and aggravating.”

Hinata chuckles once, and then he growls,

“We’re not just friends and you  _fucking_  know it.”

“Eh, is that so~?” Komaeda asks, all wide-eyed doe-eyed innocence before he just laughs it off. “Goodness, I never even noticed. You’re terrible at leaving marks, Hinata-kun. Maybe they forgot to include SHSL Lover?”

“S-Shut up…” Hinata’s ears were red, and then, he pressed a hand to his forehead, groaning as it throbbed.

Almost immediately hands were on his shoulders. One delicate and white with the other steady and mechanical. Pressing a kiss to the corner of his jaw, Komaeda murmured.

“It’s been rough, hasn’t it? As your friend and lover, I strongly advise you to _rest_ , Hinata-kun.”

Drearily, dazedly, Hinata could only nod.

 

**“I can’t breathe”**

It’s ridiculous, definitely. Stupidly ridiculous and ridiculously stupid. I’s a wonder how his impertinence was allowed this much when he really, really should have known better.  _Didn’t_  he know better? He should. He should’ve…

Hinata was all flustered and frustrated, waving his hands in exasperation as Koizumi scolded him and Saionji, of course, snickered at his expense and dragged him further for it. Hinata was stammering, chest puffing out and cheeks all flushed and even his hair looked extra spiked. It was so– _so_ , cute. So endearing.

Koizumi did cut him some slack after a while, sighing, but Saionji was still sneering before she deigned to just tug Koizumi away. Hinata watched her do so, and then he just sighed. Komaeda’s sympathetic smile twisted. But he refused to move from his seat because...  _He_ …

_I’m so worthless that Hinata-kun just has to be near me to make it so that I can’t breathe. When all I want is to alleviate your stresses and concerns, that’s…really pathetic, isn’t it?_

He really is just useless.

But, when Hinata noticed his staring, he flashed him a smile and waved as he flinched.

And yet, despite everything, because of how useless he was, he couldn’t move as Hinata approached him, calling out,

“Komaeda!”

_You ruin me with something as simple as that… Really, how useless can you **get** , Nagito?_

 

**“Shut up, I am a delight!”**

“Ah, so Hajime-kun’s the kind of person who’s looser with alcohol, huh…” Komaeda notes, sipping at his water as he watched the other laugh boisterously with Souda, the two of them with one arm wrapped around the other’s shoulders. “How interesting… But I guess Hajime-kun needs to unwind somehow.”

“Souda’s going to get him killed one day,” Kuzuryuu grumbled, sipping water as well as the responsible designated driver. “Why didn’t you talk him out of this?”

“Curiosity!”

“Souda’s going to get him killed one day and you’re just going to let it happen.” Kuzuryuu rolled his eyes with irritated and disgust as Komaeda just smiled cheerfully. “Geez, and you call yourself his boyfriend.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, Kuzuryuu-kun.” Happily, Komaeda flashed his ring. “I’m his  _fiancé_!”

“Will you quit showing that off?”

“I won’t!”

Kuzuryuu groaned. “Urgh, just go over there and prevent him from doing anything stupid already…”

“Your trust in me is so heartwarming, Kuzuryuu-kun!”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“ _Nagito_!”

As it turned out, Komaeda didn’t have to go very close before Hinata threw himself at him, arms wrapping tight around his neck, hand clumsily and happily patting his back. Komaeda’s nose wrinkled at the smell, but he leaned eagerly into the embrace all the same.

“Hajime-kun, you really are getting so rowdy…”

“Shut up, I’m a delight,” Hinata slurred, nuzzling into him. To that, Komaeda could only laugh and agree.

 

**“you’re clearly hurting stop putting up a strong front”**

Things are still difficult, and even Komaeda wouldn’t deny that. It’s a mild relief—because god only knows how much closer they’d all be to snapping with Komaeda mocking them on top of everything. But somehow, Komaeda turned out to be among the most diligent of them when it came to trying to assist in the world’s reconstruction.

Of course, half of that was because he followed Naegi’s instructions to the letter. But he was still reliable—like how they had all seen him before the first trial. Hinata still tries not to think about how much better things would have turned out if that was how it stayed.

As it is, he really has to move on. He’s already doing his best to put on a brave face for everyone else and helping them through—he’s doing everything he can to shove down those thoughts along with anything that sounds vaguely similar to Kamukura Izuru.

It’s…difficult. But he pushes through, for his sake and everyone else’s. And it’s getting easier. Or, at least…

“You’re being utterly ridiculous.”

That’s what he thought. And maybe he was in fact stupid for expecting Komaeda to stay quiet and compliant for long. He should be impressed that it’s taken this long for him to say something. That it’s taken this long to find himself face-to-face with a frowning, disappointed Komaeda with his arms crossed and cold gray-green gaze sharpened into a glare.

Hinata grimaces, and would have just moved to walk around him, but Komaeda quickly stepped in his path, preventing any passage.

“Can’t this wait until after I’ve gone over everything with Souda?” he asked irritably, tightening his grip on the files. Komaeda shook his head, and he pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Komaeda—you were doing so well.”

“Shut up.” Komaeda snapped heatedly. “I only kept quiet because Naegi-kun asked me to.”

“Of course you did.” He didn’t mean for that to sound so sarcastic or so  _bitter_ —but he wasn’t going to apologize for it, either.

“Hinata-kun, I can’t stand it anymore,” Komaeda said and then matter-of-factly added, “Your behavior is unacceptable.”

“Oh that’s  _rich_.” He didn’t even hide the contempt. “Because yeah, you  _definitely_  have room to talk there, Komaeda Nagito. You’ve only been behaving  _recently_.”

“This isn’t about me. It’s about you.” Komaeda huffed, crossing those arms tighter. “Hinata-kun, as undeserved as it arguably may be, you do know that everyone here  _relies_  on you, right?”

He did. Of course he did. He didn’t need this guy pointing that out.

“That’s…”

“As it is, it’s unbalanced. Because. Everyone relies on you and you won’t rely on them in return.” Komaeda sniffs, twisting his features like he smelled something unpleasant. “What I’m saying is—reliance and communication goes both ways. And you can’t expect things to efficiently improve if it’s unbalanced. Naegi-kun says that a lot, and it’s troubling that he won’t say anything to you, so I…”

“So you  _what_?” Hinata asks, voice quiet and tight. He’s almost shaking. “So you, once again, decide on your own that things aren’t up to  _your_ bullshit standards? Oh my god, you haven’t changed at  _all_ , you asshole.”

“It’s not about me.” He repeats, and Hinata doesn’t believe it for a second. Then, with a tilt of his head, Komaeda coolly says, “You’re getting really angry, Hinata-kun. When was the last time you expressed such negative emotions? And so  _openly_?”

And that’s what gets him to still— _that’s_  what quiets him and makes him feel like he’s been doused in cold water.

He can only manage, after a while, “…I…”

“Hinata-kun, you’ve been clearly hurting for a while now. So it’d be for the best that you stop putting up a strong front and talk to either Naegi-kun or your friends about it.” Komaeda sighs, and then, digging his fingers into his sleeve, both human and mechanical, goes on, “It’s only fair. Do you understand me?”

“Why…why do you _care_?” Hinata finally asked, though he wavered. “Out of everyone here, you shouldn’t be the one telling me this.”

“You’re right,” Komaeda agrees easily. “I really shouldn’t be. Hence my irritation over it. But I’ll go back to being compliant and quiet once you talk to everyone. Relationships will improve, the reconstruction will be so much smoother, and _you’ll_ be feeling much better. So you shouldn’t complain, right?”

Hinata didn’t answer at first. Komaeda impatiently asked again.

“ _Right_ , Hinata-kun?”

“I…guess…”

Komaeda nods with a hum, and then moves to pass by him, though not before muttering, “I’m glad we had this talk—and you better have listened. I don’t want to have to speak to you again.”

Despite everything, Hinata hardly felt like relaxing, even listening to the other’s footsteps as he walked away. By the time he managed to look back, Komaeda had already turned onto one of the corners.

His shoulders felt heavy, and he was sure they would feel much lighter if he actually did follow Komaeda’s advice. And it’d get easier. But—

In spite of everything, he might just need to talk to that guy again if he truly wanted everything to get  _better_.

 

**“It’s fine if you don’t love me.”**

 

Of the many reactions he could have gotten, he supposes this one is…not that bad. The silence hurts, the way he’s looked at like he’s crazy  _really_  hurts, but it’s better, he thinks, than being mocked or outright denied. Than being told he  _has_  to be wrong.

At least, not right away. Not without missing a beat as though it’s the easiest thing in the world to brush off someone’s confession. The silence, at least, suggests that his confession is being considered. That, at least, it’s being mulled over as a possibility rather than a joke or imagined. And he—

“I mean it, Komaeda.” He says, clear and direct. “In spite of everything, I’ve always been in love with you.”

Komaeda blinks dumbly back at him. And then, when it looks like the words finally registered, his features scrunch up as though they’re unpleasant. Well, Hinata had expected that reaction, too. He already knew that, even in the best-case scenario, Komaeda would  _hardly_  be happy.

“It’s fine if you don’t love me back,” Hinata went on, though his fists clench for a moment. “I just want you to understand. That—This is part of why I can’t give up on you. I didn’t understand either at first—but it’s just the truth. Just…” Running frustrated fingers through his hair, noting that he really should get it cut again, he forced out, “Just don’t ask me how to explain it because I really don’t know. I just know how I feel—not…not why I feel that way…”

“Is that so.” Komaeda said, blank and unimpressed. Not at all a question. “I feel sorry for you then, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata can’t help but crack a laugh.

Well.

Fair enough.

 

**“I’m not even sorry.”**

 

“Left, right, twirl. Don’t you remember Sonia-san’s lessons, Hi _na_ ta-kun?”

“S-Shut up!”

Hinata twirled him around as he laughed, and then, Komaeda stumbled a bit and Hinata caught him.

“Oi, who’s clumsy now, Komaeda… Komaeda…?” Komaeda blinked a few times, seeming dazed and Hinata stilled. “Komae…?”

“Ah, it’s nothing… Just, mm… Remembering…” Komaeda buried his face in Hinata’s shoulder, and then. “Last time I was twirled like that, I got shot.”

Hinata flinched, and then Komaeda laughed.

“Aha, but I pointed the gun first, right? I’m not even sorry for that. I was startled and being threatened while on a very important mission. Precautions, precautions…”

“…I’m sorry.”

Komaeda was quiet for a moment, and then he sighed.

“Left, right, left, right… Let’s make this dance more beautiful than the last, Hinata-kun.”

“…Alright.”

 

**“So, I found this waterfall…”**

The more he looked at the ticket—bright pink with Usami’s happy face beaming back on him—the more it felt like he was being indiscreetly mocked for this decision. Even if the excuse was perfect and especially since it had been far too long since the two of them had done anything together other the usual island work. It had been much longer since they had a casual discussion because it turns out he’s the kind of guy who likes to get things done quietly and quickly, smiles and nods given politely for Hinata’s sake when he tried lamely to make some ‘casual’ comments aside.

Speaking of casual comments, maybe he needs to practice a bit more in the mirror before making his way to Komaeda’s cottage, but that’d just be delaying this situation and he knew that much. And with his luck—accompanied not so helpfully by the image of Komaeda laughing—if he took too long, he might end up in the much worse arrangement of having to share Komaeda’s time with someone else. Probably Mioda. He can kiss all chances of once again experiencing that peaceful quiet he liked so much with Komaeda goodbye if Mioda’s there, as much as he likes her under other circumstances.

Right. So he needs to make his move fast. He can already imagine Koizumi telling him to man up—just like yesterday when he let out a decidedly non-manly yelp due to an incident involving what might have been a not-so-squishy sea creature while they were collecting things in the ocean. As embarrassing as that was, it would have been worse if Komaeda was there. Right. Komaeda.

He’s swallowing as he raps against the door. Before he can so much as second-guess himself on this decision, Komaeda answers, opening the door and rubbing blearily at his eye. “Mm, Hinata-kun, did something happen?”

_Oh shit today was his resting day wasn’t it? Crap—I should have…_

“Oh.” Komaeda exhales, and Hinata sees how his gaze flickers to that damn card—to Usami’s beaming ‘wuv wuv’ expression—and a lazy smile spreads across his lips. “Hinata-kun, either you’re coming here for advice or…”

“Y-You’ve got that wrong.” He stammered, gulping, his clammy hand clenching around the ticket hard enough to make it crinkle. “I…wanted to ask you… B-But if you’re just resting today, I don’t mind if…!!”

The other laughs. Somehow that’s enough to distract him from his worries, and more than enough to fixate him as Komaeda responds with a bird-like tilt of his head, “I’m honored. What were you planning to do then?”

Honestly he hadn’t planned that far ahead. “Uh… Well… We could…walk?”

“Along the beach?” Hinata felt his face heat up as Komaeda blinked a few times, adding, “Or somewhere else?”

 _…That’s right!_ He cleared his throat, steadying his tone to come across a bit more confidently. “Sonia and I were exploring a couple of the islands a few days ago.”

“Hinata-kun, you’ll make your soul friend cry at that rate. That’s no good.”

Well, so much for that steadiness. “It…It wasn’t like that, Komaeda.”

Komaeda giggles. Flustered, Hinata forces himself to go on all the same. “So… I found this waterfall… It’s a little hidden and out of the way, so neither of us knew about it earlier… I don’t know if you know but…”

“I don’t know about sharing a romantic sight with me after sharing it with someone like Sonia-san… That’s quite the downgrade, don’t you think?” Humming, Komaeda folds his arms with a thoughtful expression. “Hinata-kun, that’s not much good either.”

“I don’t think that way at all.” Hinata replies, surprisingly stern with his gaze narrowed. “It’s not like I’ll enjoy your company any less. If anything, I prefer spending time with you…”

 _…Wait._  He stopped dead as Komaeda returned his stare curiously.  _Maybe I shouldn’t have said something so careless to someone like Komaeda…?_

“…Mm. Hinata-kun. You really should be more careful saying such things…”

_I don’t want to get scolded like this—_

“People get the wrong idea easily… Also, what am I going to do when I end up liking you too much? That’s dangerous for someone like me.” Komaeda smiled though, to Hinata’s confusion. “Now I’m a little nervous… But I don’t want to turn you down so… So,  _ah_ , let’s get some water or something for the trip first? I get dehydrated easily, and I don’t want you tiring out on me either when you promised me a romantic sight.”

It’s like his thoughts have gone dead silent, though there’s still that buzzing confusion that flared up soon after— _surely he isn’t implying what does he mean by **dangerous**_ —and despite that, Hinata shakes those thoughts off and offers his hand. “Sure thing, Komaeda.”

It’s Komaeda taking his hand, giving him that light smile of his, that silences everything completely as he squeezes and tugs the other away. Komaeda plucks Usami’s ticket from his other hand, and the two are on their way together.


	6. KomaHina - Snuggles During A Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically that, lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this as a request for a special of sorts when I got 100 followers on tumblr. That was about 2-3 years ago. Not much has changed since. Though now I have about 350+ followers. :'D

It’d had been like every other night where he ended up wide-awake, unable to fall back asleep, and his oblivious lover snoring in his ear, radiating heat like an overworking machine to make laying there even more unpleasant. So he did what he always did—wiggle out from underneath Hinata’s arm, turn on the lamp on the bedside table, and pluck up the novel he left there earlier to finish.

It was a suitable arrangement, even though Hinata would always end up clinging to him again, sometimes burying his face into his hip despite how uncomfortable that might be. Komaeda didn’t mind that though, and would just stroke Hinata’s hair as he read, sometimes reading aloud in a gentle lull. Hinata slept on easily, and sometimes muttered Komaeda’s given name in slumber, and yes, everything worked out fine.

Except when the novel started going a more suspenseful route, Komaeda’s verbal reading growing more hushed and tense and…

Lightning flashed followed by a loud thunder, and Komaeda was startled long enough to pick up the sound of when it started raining. And then the storm roared again, and his lamp shut off.

He waited. Thunder boomed a few more times and his lamp showed no signs of turning back on.

“Ah.” Well. There went his usual plan. Komaeda felt around for the table to put the book back with a heavy sigh and sat there in darkness. Lightning flashed overhead again, and Komaeda began to count slowly under his breath.

_Four… Five… Seven…_

He underestimates how badly the blast of the thunder overhead ended up startling him.

“Mmgh… Nagito…?” A groggy voice mutters out, and Komaeda feels Hinata’s arm tighten around his waist as Hinata pulls his head back to stare blindly up at him. “You jumped… What?”

The lightning burst overhead answers the half-garbled question, and Hinata exhales a soft ‘oh’. Just as there’s a particularly loud crash outside that makes Komaeda wince, Hinata sits up and squeezes his shoulder. “Bad storm tonight?”

“I wasn’t paying attention to the weather station recently. I would have worn earplugs.”

“Hn. I’ll go look for them, then.”

“No, don’t.” Komaeda’s thin fingers close around his arm before he can squirm out from under the covers as the sky rumbles. “It’s fine. Just stay, Hajime-kun.”

For a moment the sudden burst of light was enough to see Komaeda’s expression—stiff and tense as well as looking a bit…paler. Hinata blinked hard, and nodded before quickly choking out a ‘yes’ when he remembered that Komaeda likely wouldn’t be able to recognize the gesture while it was still dark. Komaeda’s grip on him slackened a bit, and Hinata tugged his arm free from it.

“Hajime-kun, actually uh, you should go back to…” Before he can finish the suggestion, Hinata’s hands landed on his shoulders—blindly feeling upwards until they cupped his face. Komaeda could only sigh. “It’s late…”

“The storm’s loud.” Though it’s his heartbeat that was starting to echo in his ears, especially when his thumbs found the soft corners of Komaeda’s lips.  _Especially_ when he felt Komaeda smile at his astute observation. Hinata swallowed. “I can’t fall back asleep. Let’s just stay like this.”

“If that’s what you want then,” Komaeda answers, and Hinata says ‘yes’ before he can even think twice.

He isn’t allowed to hold Komaeda’s face the way he does for much longer, because Komaeda gets stiff and pulls those hands off himself. But, when Hinata feels thin fingers slowly entwining and holding onto his own… It’s not too bad, he thinks, being awake this late at night in the dark while there’s a storm.

When Komaeda’s fingers tighten around his under a flash of lightning, he finds he really doesn’t mind too much. He’s more concerned about the deep breath his lover takes at the sound of the thunder following the burst.

“Did you know that you can estimate how far the storm is by counting?” Komaeda asks abruptly, twirling a curl around his finger. “It’s just something I’ve learned—but lightning can strike quite far from the cloud.”

“Yeah, I know…” He remembered hearing something like that from one of his teachers. But it was a long, long time ago. “But we should be safe inside, right?”

“We don’t live near any trees that could crash into us, so yes…theoretically. That doesn’t make this experience pleasant.” Komaeda squeezes his hand just a bit. “Actually that makes it more irritating.”

“Is that the word you’re going to use?” Hinata leans against him, and there’s a bit of a teasing smile in his voice as he lifts their connected hands to press kisses along a pale wrist. “If that’s what you really think, Nagito. Though if you’re scared, you should just say so.”

“Don’t patronize me, _Hinata-kun_. I’ll make you stand outside.”  They both know it’s a hollow threat the second it escapes his lips—Komaeda would rather die twice than risk Hinata getting struck by lightning, which somehow managed to be a very real possibility if he even allowed a smidgen of chance. Hinata doesn’t call it out, of course because Komaeda might smack him with his hand close enough to get a lucky shot, and instead hums.

“Are you uneasy, at least? I can tell you’re a bit…tense… I can distract you if you want?”

“Oh that would be a disaster if neither of us could see.” Komaeda snorts and Hinata’s a little insulted but grateful that the other can’t see how he flushes till his ears turn red the more he thinks about it. “We’re not that experienced with the lights off.”

“…Practice makes perfect?” he can’t help but suggest, and then tacks on because he remembers, “You didn’t answer the first question.”

“…Yes, I’m uneasy. I’m also not in the mood.” But Komaeda grips his hand tight so that it doesn’t slip away when Hinata lets go. “Storms might be lovely to look at but… They’ve always made me uncomfortable.”

“Are you really alright then?” Hinata asks, and he doesn’t get a response. “You know I’m right here when you need me, Nagito.”

“I do,” Komaeda sighs heavily. Then he almost falls into him, nuzzling into Hinata’s shoulder and squirming to pull himself closer to the other. “Of course I do.”

“Ah,” Hinata tenses when he feels a leg hitch over his hip, Komaeda uncomfortably pressing up against him due to fumbling in the dark, and his lover seemed unwilling to let go of his hand the entire while to make the confusing process easier. “Careful, don’t…”

Komaeda manages to wriggle into his lap, bumping against him awkwardly and grunting a bit. He sounds annoyed when commenting, “You’re too _still_ , Hajime-kun. It’s just me.”

_That might be part of the problem._ But if he says that, Komaeda might actually kick him off. Still, it’d be nice if Komaeda gave a clearer indication on how exactly he wanted him to move. As it is, he’s more concerned with accidentally hurting him when he’s in this kind of proximity.

And then Komaeda ends up nearly knocking him over. Thankfully Hinata manages to catch himself before he hits his head on the headboard. “C-Careful!”

“Sorry!” Komaeda does sound apologetic—and almost _anxious_ —and he buries his face in Hinata’s neck as he trembles. He lets go of his hand this time, just so that he can wrap his arms around his chest. “Ah, are you alright, Hajime-kun?”

“I’m fine, but…” Komaeda’s still shivering, not even calming down as Hinata runs a hand down his back. His breaths are shaky and soft under the incessant tapping of the pouring rain outside. For some reason, there’s a chill in the air that makes Hinata want to shudder himself. “Nagito, I’m _fine_.”

Komaeda opens his mouth, is momentarily stopped by another rumble of thunder, and then chuckles in a low voice. “I heard you the first time.”

“Mm.” Hinata’s arms close around him so that he’s safely nestled in the circle of his embrace. Hinata strokes his hair, rubs the nape of his neck, and softly murmurs, “If you’re scared, then say so.”

“I said that I…” Komaeda’s throat closes involuntarily, and he buries his face back into Hinata’s shoulder. “That’s such a childish fear to have, though, isn’t it? Being afraid just because there’s a storm outside. But it’s not even the storm, it’s just the unnerving noises. The darkness doesn’t help either and it’s ridiculous. It’s so _silly_ if you’re making yourself nervous when you can’t even do much of anything, you just have to let it pass… I think that it’s just…”

“ _I_ don’t think it’s silly, considering it’s you. You have every right to be worried about such things.” Komaeda flinches, and Hinata’s hold on him tightens as his fingers thread through his hair. “I’m not going to mock you for being scared about anything, Nagito, never. The last thing I want is you keeping feelings like that bottled up.” He smiles, pressing a kiss to Komaeda’s crown. “I’m here either way. I’ll keep you safe.”

“You’re not infallible, Hajime-kun.” Komaeda’s words are soft imprints against his skin. “But I do appreciate it. Appreciate you.”

Hinata gives a cheeky grin, and somehow Komaeda must know because he smiles against him in return. “Nagito, you know that I…” Suddenly he’s shushed, and Komaeda moves so that his ear is placed against his chest. Hinata, feeling his heart pound a bit harder, hesitates. “I…uh…”

“Hajime-kun,” he’s cut off, and Komaeda snuggles up against him more. “I don’t want to move. But I still want to be held, touched, and kissed.”

Hinata perks up, and then groans. “Ugh. I’ve spoiled you.”

Komaeda giggles and Hinata kisses the top of his head anyway, fingers rubbing circles into his back before returning to stokes. “I swear… You haven’t even gotten cuter. What makes you think you can be so lazy?”

His lover’s answer is a kiss against his skin, and more nuzzling. _Maybe…_ Hinata swallows, not daring to say it. _Maybe he’s gotten a **little** cuter. I…_

He can feel Komaeda relax against him, sighing softly and contently. The storm’s lessened a bit, Hinata noticed, feeling more alert. The tapping of the rain’s probably going to last a bit longer though, but at least the thunder was more of a gruff mumble.

Then the light of the lamp flickered back on, nearly making Hinata jerk.

“Oh… Hey, Nagito, our electricity is back.” Komaeda didn’t answer. Hinata looked down, seeing a mop of white curls and the white fan of his eyelashes, fluttered shut and barely twitching. “Nagito?”

The other’s breathing was soft, and there was a whisper of his name. Hinata stroked his hair, and he didn’t even stir. This would be one of those nights then—Hinata’s going to end up with a stiff neck and drool on his chest in the morning.

The lamp’s light wavered. Komaeda instinctively tightened his arms around him, and Hinata fondly smiled down at him as his fingers went to soothe the base of his neck.

“This is fine,” he says, his eyes fluttering shut. “Let’s just stay like this.”


	7. KamuKoma - Despairs and a Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five ficlets, each with an underlying despair theme.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like writing KamuKoma in a despair verse but I really need to be careful when I do. It's really risky territory. :'D

**“We’re designed to be disposable.” Take 1**

 

“If you keep such a sour face while tearing those things apart, I might be inclined to thinking you’re actually angry, Kamukura-kun.”

Kamukura ignored him at first, instead reaching out and pulling a squirming Monokuma from under the rubble trapping it. It kept out wiggling, red eye sparking and claws twitching on one side while a broken paw dangled uselessly on the other by only a few wires. Kamukura smashed its head into the concrete to get it to still.

Then he delved through its insides for yet another one of those centerpiece control devices.

“Do you really need so many of those?” Komaeda asks curiously, glancing over Kamukura’s shoulder and admiring the intricate way his fingers pulled apart its interworking. “Or is that your SHSL Collector talent? SHSL Hoarder?”

“It is none of your concern, Komaeda Nagito.”

Kamukura didn’t even cast him a side-glance.

“But it is my curiosity, Kamukura-kun! If it’s you, the reasoning behind all this is surely interesting—unless it isn’t,” Komaeda presses against his back, tracing patterns into the fabric of his suit. It smelled washed and pristine, somehow. “I’d like to see which it is, because it’s you, Ka _mu_ kura- _kun_.”

“Fixated as ever, I see,” Kamukura muttered dryly. “How boring of you.”

“What’s so interesting about the inside of every Monokuma unit?” Komaeda asks, blowing at long black strands and barely getting a sway. “You know, I’m not so different from these mechanical things. Mindlessly following orders, mindlessly killing—her creation—it’s a little unsettling to think about. You feel the same, don’t you?”

“I don’t feel anything,” Kamukura corrects coldly. “Except bored with your incessant chatter.”

“We’re designed to be disposable, you and me, I think,” Komaeda just goes on, as his arms slowly wrap around the other’s waist. “Once we fulfill our uses to our masters, what more is there to do but be thrown away? And for a fickle, wretched woman like that, such an ending is imminent.”

It would have been laughably simply to pry Komaeda’s feeble grip off of him. Kamukura considered it, stilling his actions momentarily, but then Komaeda sighs, softly and forlornly, and buries his face in his back.

With that, Kamukura simply resumed his work, and allowed Komaeda to silently cling to him all the while.

 

**Bad memories**

 

His mind is still flickering rapidly, fingers twitching. The room still shifted from the inside of a warehouse to a ruined, blood-streaked classroom. He could hear ringing, gurgling, the buzz of a chainsaw–

The inside of a hospital room. The smell of antiseptic, blood, drugs… Buzzing–

The screen was still flickering with various colors, distorted gurgling from the speakers similar to the gurgling of a person makes when choking on their blood.

And then it shattered with the deafening crack of a gunshot.

Kamukura blinked a few times, only slightly disoriented before sighing, dusting himself off as he stood up.

“It took quite some time to rig that television up, Komaeda Nagito.”

Komaeda sneered at him, blowing off the steam from the smoking gun.

“Really? That’s how you use your talents? Trying to brainwash yourself with that wretch’s hateful mediocre videos? Those don’t even work quite right on the untalented.”

“I was testing a theory,” Kamukura said. “Drearily, I already knew it would not work properly. But I was curious as to what I would see all the same. Unsurprisingly, it was as I expected. How boring.”

Komaeda cocked his head to the side. Then he scowled.

“Is Ultimate Thrill-Seeker one of your talents?”

“It is.” Kamukura blinked. “Think what you will.”

“Goodness, you really are the most despairing thing.” Komaeda tossed the gun aside and skipped forward. Suddenly, a smile spread across your lips. “If you want to endanger yourself so badly, you could just stick around me, Kamukura-kun.”

Then he pulled away with a disgusted face.

“As if. But I will not have such reckless behavior all the same. You’ve caused too much trouble to just throw yourself to the wolves.” Komaeda tossed him a glare over his shoulder. “Be more responsible, Kamukura Izuru.”

Kamukura said nothing. His expression shifted but remained unreadable.

Komaeda sighed.

“Come on, Kamukura-kun. There’s rubble in the middle of the street. It’s a pain to climb over, so remove it for me.”

There was little reason to decline.

 

**“I heard you scream. Nightmares again?”**

 

“Good morning, Kamukura-kun!!”

Komaeda was halfway through buttering several slices of toast. Licking a bit off his metallic thumb, he flashed a brighter smile.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” he asked, lightly. “I’m terribly sorry if I did.”

“I heard you scream,” Kamukura said, matter-of-fact as ever. “Nightmares again?”

“No worse than the usual,” Komaeda hums and takes a bite out of his bread. Through a mouthful, he mumbles, “And not as bad as yours.”

“Would you like to talk about them?”

“I’d rather you strangle me.” Komaeda swallowed and turned to him with another bright smile.  “You know how much I hate talking about my nightmares, Kamukura-kun. And I don’t really feel the need to, anyway. After all—you were present in a lot of them. You  _watched_.”

He knows he’s dreamt the same before. Those were the nights where he’d hold Komaeda’s hand a little tighter even as the two of them were didn’t look at one another. The tension would be so thick that a knife could cut through.

Komaeda washed the butter knife off with a hum.

“Just toast isn’t a suitable breakfast,” Kamukura said, eying the plate.

“I’ll take vitamins and supplements,” Komaeda replies easily, placing the now clean butter knife off to the side with the rest of the utensils. “I’ll drink milk too, so don’t worry.”

_You say not to worry…_  “Nagito, I’ll cook you something else. Toast and milk are not enough sustenance.”

“Eh?” Komaeda turned to him with slowly widening eyes. “But I eat slowly, Kamukura-kun, you know that.”

“I don’t mind. It’s not as though we have anywhere to be or anyone expecting us.”

He’s already in the process of taking eggs out of the fridge and turning the stove on. He’s cooked for Komaeda enough times, thought over the ideal meal plan enough times that it’s all by instinct and he barely has to think anything over now. It’s a strangely…domestic feeling. But one he finds he doesn’t mind at all.

“You’ll get bored just watching me eat,” Komaeda points out.

“That’s fine,” he answers simply. “You matter enough that I see the tradeoff as fair.”

Komaeda stiffened, and then he laughs.

“Well, how can I argue logic like that?”

 

**“If you really loved me there wouldn’t be a choice.“**

 

“It’s not as though I doubt you or anything,” Komaeda says, voice whispery soft as he twists, trying to find the most comfortable way to lie there, his head upon Kamukura’s lap. When Kamukura’s fingers began to thread through his hair, he sighed. “But you have to admit it’s hard for me to believe. Someone like you–I would contemplate for hours on the extent of your humanity.”

“You say that, but you’e not really surprised by it either,” Kamukura mutters, stroking his thumb over the curve of the other’s skull. Komaeda twists again, in order to nuzzle into his hand. “You suspected an attachment like this would arise, didn’t you?”

“Are you saying I manipulated you, Kamukura-kun?” Komaeda asks drearily, blinking up at him.

“No,” Kamukura said simply. “I wasn’t.”

Komaeda hums, and looks off into the unclear distance, his gaze clouded. “So now what? Has anything really changed between us?”

Kamukura didn’t answer that.

So Komaeda asked, “Are you going to protect me from now on? Are you going to kill that woman for me?”

“…Is that all you want to know?”

“Not a real answer,” Komaeda sighed heavily. “So I’m assuming you’re not sure if you would. You’re not sure what you’d really  _do_. How disappointing. If you really loved me, there wouldn’t be a choice.”

“Is that what you think loving someone entails?” Kamukura’s voice is quieter than usual, lower by just a notch. Komaeda’s gaze flickered up to him, and for a moment, it hardened into something lucid.

“I  _assume_ so–but you know I don’t really understand at  ** _all_** , don’t you?”

He didn’t have an answer to that. But somehow, his quiet stare brought a smile to Komaeda’s face as he let out a humorless, painful sounding laugh.

“I don’t,” he says, quieter and more rueful, “I don’t understand at all. But I really, really pity you, Kamukura-kun.”

 

**“We’re designed to be disposable.” Take 2**

 

“Huh?” Komaeda turned to him with those wide eyes and vapid smile, almost as though the words didn’t really register, even though Kamukura replicated his voice and inflection near perfectly.

“We’re designed to be disposable,” he repeats, and switches seamlessly to his usual dull, dreary tone. “You remember saying that, do you not? There is no reason to act like you’ve forgotten.”

“Ah, haha…” Komaeda giggles into his hand. “I didn’t think  _that_  of all things would stick with you, Kamukura-kun. Did that statement really leave such an impression?”

“You already know the answer to that,” Kamukura observed. “Are you satisfied by it?”

“Satisfaction is fleeting and also disposable in a world like this,” Komaeda says matter-of-factly, pointing one finger upwards before swaying with his arms spread out. “Though, actually, that wretched girl isn’t capable of satisfaction, is she? She’s quite the disgusting glutton, isn’t she?”

_And once she loses interest in us, she’ll toss us away. That’s the kind of fickle person she is._

Komaeda had also said that once before as well. He hadn’t been wrong.

“That’s why staying determined in such times is not only important, but invaluable!” Komaeda exclaimed with  _emotion_ , clenching his fists tightly. “We must persevere! We must not lose hope!”

“You say that as someone who has hope to lose,” Kamukura murmurs.

“Well,” Komaeda says, twirling on his heel. The colors in his irises are swirling with a smile that’s sickeningly bright and manic. “I have  _you_ , don’t I?”

He doesn’t say anything, but Komaeda draws near, eyes brightening and darkening with despair. With a coo, Komaeda’s palm presses against his cheek, and runs along his jaw. His thumb strokes the underside of his lower lip, and Komaeda’s smile turns unbelievably smug.

“You’re going to be the one she throws away last,” he says with certainty. “You’re the creation she’s most proud of–so really, you’re the most useful person to me when it comes to taking her down before she gets bored. I think we can do it, don’t you?”

“I already know what will happen,” Kamukura answered sharply.

“But you’re still here,” Komaeda retorts gently. “Which means one of two things. Either that I’ll succeed, or… You have  _hope_.”

Kamukura’s eyes narrowed sharply, and snatched up Komaeda’s hand. Just as Komaeda let out a startled laugh, a cold kiss was pressed to the longest line in his palm.

“…Kamukura-kun?”


	8. KomaHina - Trying To Talk Out Their Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-SDR2 AU. Also self-explanatory. Emphasis on the trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was a request for something within the same vein as one of my other post-sdr2 komahina fics like If, Paramount, weatherworn and wilted, and the requester wanted something like continuing past the "we need to talk" part of the relationship and I...tried. Several times. In fact, Rotten Fruits Make Youthful Jam was one of the attempts. :'D
> 
> Ahhh, your mileage may vary on how this attempt fairs. I hope you enjoy anyway, ahaha.

“So,” Hinata says, dragging out the syllable. “None of it was a lie.”

Komaeda bit into the bread roll and tore a piece off with his teeth. It was a messy, graceless way of eating—especially since he bit off more than he could chew—but Hinata just swallowed, overlooking the display and going on.

“All that stuff that happened to you—the plane crash that took your parents, getting kidnapped, the…diagnoses…” His face twisted up into a grimace. “That was all true. You never lied once.”

Komaeda’s eyes flicker towards him briefly but he keeps on chewing. That’s fine. Hinata can wait.

He’s waited months before when it came to Komaeda waking up. This is nothing compared to that.

“And the other stuff—about you dying alone without anyone loving you…” Hinata almost bites out a laugh, and the sound’s too bitter even for him. “You didn’t get that out of a book. That’s how you really felt. You really were worried about something like that. You did and said so many horrible things—but you were still upset at the idea of dying _alone_.”

Komaeda swallowed the rest of the bread down the wrong pipe and started coughing. Standing quickly from his chair, Hinata snatched up the water bottle, unscrewing the cap off before tilting Komaeda’s head back and pressing it to his lips so that he could drink. Komaeda’s fingers dug painfully into his sleeve and arm—but Komaeda wasn’t pushing him off or pulling him closer so he just…overlooked it.

“There, there,” Hinata murmured, pulling the water back. “Just breathe.”

Komaeda inhaled and exhaled noisily and harshly. Then, under those long, long lashes, he gave Hinata a look.

“Who _wouldn’t_ be upset about something like that?” he snapped, and swatted Hinata’s hand away so that he could adjust the way he was seated. “I may be abnormal in many ways—but I’m still prone to _basic human desires_ , Hinata-kun.”

“At least you admit you aren’t normal,” Hinata said, though he winced as he did. “But, you know, no one on this island is normal, not even me, so I…guess…”

Komaeda rolled his eyes. “You’re normal, Hinata-kun. _Kamukura-kun_ on the other hand…”

Hinata flinched. “He’s…” He swallows, and then, “Kamukura Izuru isn’t exactly a wholly different person, Komaeda. He… We… We’re in the same body.”

“An abnormal situation doesn’t make an abnormal person,” Komaeda says. “Kamukura-kun isn’t going to respond to someone who calls out Hinata-kun’s name. That’d just be silly.”

Kamukura wouldn’t respond regardless. Even now in the back of his mind, Hinata can feel Kamukura’s unresponsiveness. It’s not as though Kamukura was asleep or unconscious—more that he was just…detached.

Hinata wasn’t sure what to do about that—but be it by Kamukura’s influence or not, he tried not to worry too much about it either.

“Anyway,” Komaeda says and he’s dipping the bread into the butter sauce. “I’m not too interested in talking about Kamukura-kun right now, or to him for that matter. He doesn’t exactly utilize his SHSL Conversationalist talent. It’s a shame.”

Hinata almost snorts at that. But, sighing, he just replies, “We’re talking about you right now, Komaeda. The Kamukura stuff can come later.”

“I am not and never had been too fond of the idea of dying alone,” Komaeda states, with enough blunt-force trauma to injure someone. “What else is there to _say_ , Hinata-kun?”

“I would’ve forgiven you,” Hinata said quietly. “If you—if you hadn’t backtracked back then and lied about the book, I would’ve forgiven you. Did you…realize that?”

“I might have noted the possibility but, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda meets his stare, coolly and calmly despite the words. “Don’t you think things would have turned out worse if you did forgive me then? Honestly, you would’ve rescinded that forgiveness later, which would’ve…”

He trails off, but Hinata knows what he means. He could imagine. That said, that wasn’t what irked him.

“You had that little faith in me? Isn’t rescinding forgiveness kind of _tactless_?”

“It wasn’t _you_ ,” Komaeda mutters.

Ah, the good ol _‘it’s not you, it’s me’_ —honestly, Hinata pitied him a little. The diagnoses were true, his ridiculous stories were true—everything he opened up about up until the point he gracelessly slammed the door in Hinata’s face…

It was too much to imagine.

What did he expect? What was he aiming to accomplish? That, what, even under the best possible circumstances with the best openness he could hope for that—miraculously, he’d somehow completely understand Komaeda and everything about their relationship would make sense?

What a ridiculous idea. Hinata doesn’t even fully understand himself—and just prodding the overly convoluted mess that was himself, Kamukura, and his past self in his brain was beyond overwhelming.

Hell, if nothing else, at the very least, that mess made _Komaeda_ look simple.

“You know,” he says. “I forgive you. For how you acted, I mean. I—look, none of us are blameless, considering the fucked up shit we did in our past. And, if Monokuma hadn’t shown up—I don’t think you would’ve acted that way. After all…”

_Nanami said the same thing._ Hinata stops talking. _That’s what she believed and… While I’d like to believe it to, I do…question it…_

**_Would Komaeda really have stayed as I knew him when we first met had Monokuma never showed up?_ **

It’s not like the other parts of Komaeda would just cease _existing_.

“I don’t,” Komaeda starts, pausing to take a deep breath before going on, even as his voice grew quieter. “I don’t forgive any of you. So I don’t—I don’t _want_ your forgiveness, Hinata-kun.”

“Well, you have it,” Hinata retorted, mildly irritated at first but softening soon enough. “And you don’t have to forgive us. A lot of us don’t forgive ourselves. I’m just saying that _I_ forgive  ** _you_** , Komaeda. That’s… That’s it.”

“Forcing such an unpleasant thing on me—Hinata-kun’s terrible…” Komaeda was mumbling into his knees, drawn up with an arm wrapped around them. His stumped wrist just hung limply against his side.

Hinata silently takes the tray he pushed aside, noting with mild satisfaction that Komaeda ate all his food this time.

“You’re a terrible person yourself,” Hinata says after a while, setting the tray on the table. “We’ve got a long way to go—but I think we can help one another out, at least. Maybe we’ll better each other in addition to ourselves. Or is that overly _hopeful_ thinking?”

At his cheeky grin, Komaeda shot him a glare.

“Why me?” he grumbled. “I don’t exactly _like_ you, Hinata-kun. And it’s not like you like me, either.”

“I kind of do,” Hinata admitted, shrugging. “I liked you a lot at first. You were weird and a bit eccentric—but you helped me out a lot initially and I appreciated that. Actually, you continued helping us even then. I guess I should thank you for that too, but with how much trouble you caused as well… Maybe it all balanced out or something. Who knows?”

“You really are a terrible person if you like someone like me.” Komaeda almost seemed put out at the idea. Hinata couldn’t say he didn’t understand that response on at least some level.

But it was at least a little disappointing.

“I like you, Komaeda,” he says. “I don’t get it myself—but I do.”

“I tried to kill you,” Komaeda muttered, turning away from him to instead look out the window. “I said every horrible thing I could think of when I found out about you being a reserve course student, only stopping when whatever I thought up had more to do with despair than anything else. Nanami-san was  _executed_ because of me.”

“Nanami cared about you,” Hinata reminded him.

“Nanami-san was _programmed_ to,” Komaeda replied. “Even then, she didn’t exactly enjoy my presence, Hinata-kun.”

“No one did.” _Except me, at first._ “But it doesn’t have to be like that anymore. Everyone wants to welcome you back to the class, so…”

Komaeda laughs. It’s wheezy and unpleasant—but it’s far more pitiful than frightening.

“Don’t lie to me so shamelessly. Aside from the ever polite Sonia-san, you’re the only one who talks to me. Just because you have some strange attraction to me doesn’t necessarily mean the others…” Komaeda coughed suddenly, and rubbed at his throat. “No one’s ever welcomed me back. No one _wants_ me around after they’ve seen enough of me. Even if they say they do—it’s misplaced obligation, I think. Not genuine desire or anything.”

“You think _that’s_ what my feelings amount to?” Hinata asked, narrowing his glare.

“I think you’re weird,” Komaeda said before adding, trailing off. “And…a little gross…”

“I can live with that,” Hinata answered. Except, he tacked on, “Hypocrite.”

Komaeda weakly laughed in response, clutching onto his knees tighter as he begun to shake. He was curling more in on himself. And Hinata couldn’t see his expression with how he remained stubbornly turned away but—

“I’m sorry.”

There was a moment of dead silence before Komaeda took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for what I did. That’s—that’s what you _wanted_ to hear, right? You forgave me so that I apologized. I was wrong, what _ever_ , so there’s that. You can go now, Hinata-kun.”

“I don’t want to leave, Komaeda.”

“Shall I be more gracious then? Maybe lick your shoes? Or, since you decided you **liked** me—maybe I can give you _that_ , instead?” Komaeda, digging his nails into his skin, turned to fix him with a cold, bitter glare. “Is _that_ what you want? I can’t promise it’ll be any good for you, _SHSL Everything_ —but if you really **want** me, then…”

Hinata did flinch, blanching as he spat out, “ _God_ , no! What even the _fuck_ , Komaeda?!”

“Does my body disgust you?” Komaeda asks, stare narrowed and unimpressed. “My personality’s worse, you know. So I really don’t understand what you want from me—much less what you like about me.”

“I don’t exactly understand it either!” Hinata exclaimed heatedly. “Especially not now! Especially because you really shouldn’t say shit like this so easily! What’s wrong with you?!”

“Trauma, probably, in addition to the medical problems.”

That blunt answer had his anger fizzling in a heartbeat. Like being doused in cold water, Hinata shuddered, numb with shock before croaking out, “Oh… Oh, _Komaeda_ …”

Abruptly, Komaeda met his eyes again. His stare was even, and hardened.

“Get out.”

Hinata blinked a few times, taking too long for Komaeda’s snapped patience.

“Get _OUT_!” he screeched, snatching up his pillow and flinging it in the other’s direction. It was only good luck Hinata got smacked in the face. It was more of a surprise than anything else, but Komaeda’s shouting made him flinch. “Do I have to say it again?! I want you **_OUT_**!”

“Alright, alright!” Hinata immediately conceded, putting his hands up in surrender. “I’m going! Just let me…” As Komaeda fumed, Hinata grabbed the empty tray before backing out. “I’m leaving. I’m leaving, Komaeda, so please don’t throw anything else, alright? Alright?”

“ _Out_ ,” Komaeda repeated bitterly, eyes glimmering. Hinata perked up.

Slower, calmer, Hinata nodded once. “I’ll check up on you later.”

Swiftly, he plucked up the pillow and tossed it back. It landed neatly on the other side of the bed. Komaeda briefly glanced at it.

“I’ll see you, Komaeda.”

Hinata already shut the door behind him before anything else could be said.


	9. KomaHina - 8 Semi-NSFW Ficlets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most of these are taken from the Semi-NSFW meme. The last one isn't but it fits right in, so it's there.
> 
> Yep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Said last one was actually a rather specific prompt, but, eh... :'D

**… sexting**

 

**_“Hinata-kun is still gone and I’m getting quite lonely.”_ **

He chuckles at that, at the endearing openness of the message, even as it makes his chest ache a little because, well, he definitely misses him too. He misses him terribly in fact. Because, well…

**_“Jerking off isn’t satisfying at all.”_ **

Hinata nearly choked, nearly crushed the phone in his hand. But he still saw the message, and Komaeda knew he saw. Because he went on…

**_“Because Hinata-kun’s more careful, more loving. I can’t replicate it at all, and it’s frustrating!”_ **

…and on…

**_“Mm… Just imagining it now… I can’t help but squirm!!”_ **

…and on.

**_“I really, really miss you, Hinata-kun! Come home soon and touch me again, please!”_ **

Fuck.

**_“Thanks for that, Komaeda. I’m going to have to take a cold shower now. Thanks. A lot.”_ **

**_“Oh!”_ **

The response was immediate.

**_“Why not just pleasure yourself here? And tell me about it! I’m curious!”_ **

His face was burning.  _Of course he is._

**_“It’s already late, isn’t it?”_ **

**_“Mm, but I don’t want to sleep when I can talk to Hinata-kun… Especially if it’s when Hinata-kun is pleasuring himself… Makes me too squirmy to sleep.”_ **

**_“You…”_ **

He hesitated, and sighed.

**_“You really need to sleep. Your schedule’s precarious enough. Please, just sleep, Komaeda. Good night. I love you.”_ **

**_“Boo!”_ **

He snorts. But the next message is almost immediate.

**_“Good night, Hinata-kun. Love you lots!”_ **

…He sighed once he turned off his phone. Komaeda was too cute, and it was going to be a  _long night_.

 

**… giving a lap dance**

 

“Ehehe, hehe, this is, ah, awkward, isn’t it?”

_That’s an understatement._

Komaeda’s arms were tentatively circling his neck, leaning quietly against him, legs wrapped around his waist, nice and quiet in his lap. He was trembling, just a little.

“It… It goes without saying,” Komaeda whispers, smile wavering even in his voice as he begins to move. “I’ve…never, ever done this before.”

_So why for me, then?_  Hinata swallowed too, but didn’t trust himself to speak as Komaeda slightly grinds against him, bouncing a bit. It’s weird. It’s  _awkward_.

Fuck, it’s doing more for him than just jerking off.

“Ah, ah, haha… This…is weird, isn’t it?” Komaeda’s face is starting to flush. Because of how pale he is, it stands out all the more. Komaeda, really is the kind of beauty that left someone  _breathless_. “It’s strange, isn’t it? Mm, Hinata-kun…”

Komaeda holds onto him, sighing, nuzzling into his neck. Up and down, up and down. His heart’s racing, heat rising in his cheeks…something  _else_  was definitely rising too.

“…Hinata-kun…?” Komaeda almost sounds breathless, too, and he can’t resist pulling him into a kiss.

 

**… leaving hickeys on the other’s neck**

 

“H-Holy shit…”

“Ehehe.”

“Oh my  _god_ …”

“Well, I have to say…”

“I- _I’M_ –!”

“You really know how to leave a good  _first impression_  on a guy! Ah, Hinata-kun, was it?”

Hinata covered his face, muffling a scream into his hands before shakily glancing back up. At the glaring,  _hideous_  welts on the other’s neck, he felt like screaming all over again, and at the very least, made the sound of a dying whale as the other went on.

“Oh, in case you’ve forgotten,” he said so cheerfully. “I’m Komaeda Nagito. You were, hmm, pretty drunk so I wouldn’t be surprised if you did.”

“Komaeda…” Hinata croaked, miserably, painfully, and feeling like he should get on his hands and knees. “I am so,  _so_  sorry. I just… I just…”

“It’s alright! I mean, being bitten a few times did hurt a little, but…”

Hinata made another dying whale sound.

“But!!” Komaeda exclaimed so brightly that a sinful, wretched creature like him should just wither and die under such  _heavenly_  light. “I enjoyed it! Very much! That was one of my better one night stands! Thank you for picking me, Hinata-kun!”

“I, I… You should have shoved me off!” Hinata sputtered in disbelief. “Marring up your neck when I don’t even know you is like…wrong?! Really wrong?! Hold yourself in more importance than that!!!”

Komaeda blinked at him, blushed, and fuck, Hinata’s stupid, sinful, traitorous heart skipped a damn beat.

“I was pretty buzzed myself,” he giggles. “I enjoyed your attention.” Komaeda squirms deliciously.  _Shit._   ** _Stop that, brain._**  “It was…nice. You really know how to flatter me and make me feel special, Hinata-kun…”

“I… Look…” He sighs. “I just… I don’t want you to feel bad about this…but, uh… I’m…really, really sorry, Komaeda.”

“Forgiven, besides, I’m prone to easy bruising so it really does look much worse than it is.” The words don’t make him feel better but Komaeda’s darling smile is making some progress. “If you’re so keen to making it up for me, why don’t you stay a while and order us something to eat? I can’t…go out like this, so, this is a bit unorthodox…”

_Are you seriously the one saying that?_

“B-But I’d like…to get to know you a bit better… You seem like a kind person, Hinata-kun.”

**_S-Seriously?!_ **

He could scream again, protest, refuse, but… But, when Komaeda’s soft, hopeful gaze met his own, he felt an incessant, overpowering pull towards it that…was probably what got him in this situation to begin with.

“…Sure thing… Komaeda.”

Komaeda’s smile was blinding, brilliant, and so achingly beautiful.

_…I’m going to hell._

 

**… having some “private time” and the other accidentally walking in**

 

“Hinata-kun~? Aha, I really wanted to apologize about before… I really didn’t desire you to be exposed to such an unsightly display!”

_Shouldn’t I be the one apologizing?! And what the HELL is with that word choice!?_

“Ah, and I called your name, too… That must have been really unsettling…”

**_Now is NOT the time to remind me of that???!!?!_ **

“Uuu… I’m really sorry… Hinata-kun…”

“I-I…!” Hinata choked and then, “I-It’s alright… It’s… F-Fuck… It’s fine.”

_It’s not like I can be that surprised. It’s…normal, right? Komaeda’s walked on me before so this is only fair really, but… Still…!_

“Ah, really?” Komaeda sounded so hopeful. He hadn’t been the slightest bit flustered about this. It really, really wasn’t fair.

“Yes… Really…”

God, this was so fucking unfair. How come in either situation,  _he_  was the one utterly embarrassed?!

“…Hinata-kun…”

Hinata flinched, reddening even further at that breathy murmur.

“…Uh, yeah…?”

“Are you…going to come out of the bathroom now?”

“U-Urk…! Yeah…! Yeah, of course…”

Shakily, with clammy, scrambling fingers, Hinata did manage to open the door.

Komaeda’s face was still flushed from before, with a wide smile and shimmering eyes. Hinata froze, remembering how that face looked twisted with pleasure and ecstasy and–

He slammed the door, making Komaeda yelp.

“H-Hinata- _kun_?!”

“…Sorry,” Hinata groaned. “I…”

He took a deep breath, whining internally at how neither his heart or his dick would settle down.

“I-I need a bit more time…”

 

**… having a wet dream and calling the other’s name during it**

 

“Ha… Aaahh…!”

He couldn’t help but squirmed, rutting and desperate to relieve the heat thrumming through his veins.

“Nnn… N-Na…”

He shuddered, and then,

“N-Nagito…!”

“Good morning, Hinata-kun!”

Hinata positively screamed, but Komaeda was completely unaffected.

“I got clean sheets, no worries!” he exclaimed, like nothing was wrong like nothing just happened. “I didn’t want to disturb you, but… I really am happy you called my name…! It’s so flattering! I do still question your taste, of course… Is it really because we’ve been sharing a bed lately?”

Hinata shuddered, flushed, wishing he could die of a heart-attack then and there. With how hard and fast his heart was pounding, it could happen. If he just had enough  _hope_ –

“That saaaaaid,” Komaeda droned on. “You really need to get out of bed, Hinata-kun. Change your underwear while I change these sheets. I’m flattered, but, I have to sleep in that bed  _too_ , remember?”

Hinata covered his face in his hands.

“O-Oh…” Komaeda got flustered. “W-Wait, that’s right… I have to wait a bit for post-coital bliss to finish! I’m so sorry, Hinata-kun! I’ll leave so you can bask in the splendor of your climax for a little while longer!”

He set the sheets on the dresser.

“I’ll just leave these here…”

He waved with a laugh, opening the door.

“Let me know when you’re done, Hinata-kun!”

Komaeda shut the door on his way out, just as Hinata chucked a pillow at his head.

Komaeda hadn’t even taken two steps away from the room before he heard Hinata give a loud, muffled scream.

_…That’s a little repetitive…isn’t it?_

Komaeda shrugged it off.

_Ah, whatever!_

 

**Catching the other before they fall**

Hinata had been exhausted for a while now with all his responsibilities from checking with everyone, organizing information, and keeping his chronic headaches at bay with medication. Hinata hadn’t been able to talk and banter normally with anyone for a while due to that tight schedule, and really, he was too grateful that Hinata deigned him worth catching up with first.

And it had been…nice. Hinata asking him about how things were on his end, Hinata smiling and laughing even though what he said couldn’t have been that interesting or amusing, Hinata being attentive even as exhaustion shone in the shadows under his gaze. Hinata brushed off his concerns so easily.

And, of course, just as he was about to hand Hinata some canned coffee, Hinata had passed out on the spot, slumping forward and falling asleep on his shoulder. It’s impressive how he managed to hold his ground against the sudden extra weight, and he was even more grateful for his robotic arm making it easier to support Hinata’s extra weight than it would’ve been otherwise.

He gripped the coffee can tighter, but as Hinata muttered incoherently against his shoulder with no sign of waking up or regaining himself, Komaeda only sighed and awkwardly patted the back of his head.

His spiky hair was growing out again. Soon, it’d have to be cut again. Hinata hated having his hair cut and yet…

Hinata was still only human and yet…

“You’re seriously worryingly irresponsible, Hinata-kun… Let’s get you to bed.”

He’ll still leave him the coffee. Of course he will, even though Hinata doesn’t actually like the taste of coffee.

Hinata had asked for it, so who is he to refuse?

_…Hinata-kun had said my presence could be relaxing sometimes… And I wondered about that…_

 

**Getting Caught in the Act**

 

“Kuzuryuu, I’m really…”

“No, you’re not.”

“Look, I’m really…”

“You’re fucking not.”

Komaeda laughed. Both Kuzuryuu and Hinata shot him a pained glare, and Komaeda quickly and cheerfully waved his hands, apologizing, “Ah, sorry, sorry!”

Kuzuryuu’s glare harshened…and then his eyes caught the obvious bruises that Komaeda sported on his neck without any sense of shame. Reddening with embarrassment and fury, he jerked away with a scowl.

Hinata, in the very least, had the decency to look like he was sorry.

And, dammit, that actually did hurt a little because it’s not so often the guy looks so helpless, especially when as of late he’s been the one that everyone else had been hoisting their responsibilities onto.

Hinata’s a great guy now capable of amazing things. But he’s still a human who needs to vent his frustrations and who does, in fact, have needs.

Komaeda’s still weird, but, the way he takes Hinata’s hand, with that usual eerily calm smile of his…

_At least it’s not Souda._  Kuzuryuu thinks, huffing.  _Or Saionji. Oh fuck, thank god it’s not Souda or Saionji._

“Look,” he says, grumbling. “We’re all adults here, so I don’t mind if you do adult things…”

Both he and Hinata are reddening like the children that they are. But Komaeda keeps on smiling.

“Yes, we’re adults,” Komaeda says cheerfully just to add salt in the wound. “So it’s really no surprise we participate in adult activities like sex.”

“Do you HAVE no shame?!” Kuzuryuu shrieked as Hinata flinched.

“Ah, excuse me!” Komaeda chirped. “The dementia must have eroded that part of my brain away! Dreadfully sorry.”

_Fucker._  But that statement was pretty damn effective in fizzling out all his anger and incredulousness. For a moment. A moment that soon passed.

“Oh god, just, next time, just KEEP it to your room!” Kuzuryuu finally managed to get out. And even though Hinata meekly nodded, he went on furiously. “And if you REALLY have some shitty exhibitionist kink going on, don’t do it in a place where I EAT, you fuckheads!”

“S-Sorry…” Hinata muttered.

“We’ll do it at the beach next time then!” Komaeda exclaimed. Hinata just dropped his head, and, surprisingly didn’t say a thing. It’s like then and there he had just given up. It was almost despairing, honestly, but…

Kuzuryuu didn’t really care. He hated the beach.

 

**Being Overheard**

 

At first his thought is that it’s just Komaeda being weird and annoying. Sure saying Hinata’s name over and over again like some satanic chanting was especially weird and especially annoying but after being forced to spend an entire day with Tanaka, the hamster guy wonder—he just, wasn’t in the mood to question it. He just wanted to talk to Hinata and Hinata, unfortunately, had only slightly less questionable taste than the otherwise wonderful Lady Sonia.

Either way, Souda had no interest in going in there while Komaeda was present. Especially since Komaeda might’ve stuck around rather than politely bow out. He used to bow out but lately, for some damn reason, Komaeda just _wouldn’t leave Hinata alone_ —and Hinata didn’t even seem to care!

Well. Turns out there was a reason for that.

“Hinata-kun! Hinata-kun! Ah, Hinata- _kun_ …”

Souda shuddered, frozen and shaken as those indecent sounds blurred off into sultry moans.

“Urgh, would you just—!” Hinata’s finally annoyed enough to raise his voice, it seemed. “B-Be quiet, Nagito! Hush!”

“A _ah_ ~!  _Ah_! Hinata-kun!”

“Shut  _UP_ , you idiot, people are going to hear…!”

_As though they haven’t already,_  Souda thought blankly, blinking down at the desolate ground before him. He kicked a rock, watching it flip over.

And then Komaeda’s cry of Hinata’s name was cut midway through—but the moaning didn’t stop. And, oh, there was banging. Yeah, that was definitely banging.

And Souda just…left.

Whatever he was going to talk to Hinata about couldn’t have been that important. In fact, anything he’ll need to talk to Hinata about in the future probably won’t  _ever_  be that important.

Right now the important thing to do was to take a long shower and do that cool thing where you’re looking up at the downpour and no one can tell if those drops running down your face are tears or water. Obviously.

Souda was going to have a long, long cry.


	10. KomaHina - 4 AUs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Partially taken from the au prompt meme with a couple just...made up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The vampire story was actually in part due to one of these au requests I got. Apparently I never mentioned that. :'D
> 
> The soulmate au was also planned to be a longer fic, but... Mm... I dunno if I'll ever write it out entirely so... Eh.
> 
> Ah, I hope you enjoy all the same. :D

**meeting again at a high school reunion au**

 

Even now, everyone was as extraordinary as they were exhausting. All these years, and that hadn’t changed at all. He’s not sure whether to be relieved or disgruntled. In some regards he’s bothered, because—after all, he had gone on to live such a mind-numbingly normal life that high school felt like a completely distant dream. He’d been well off, of course, and maybe he had been content, sure, but…

He had been as excited about this reunion as much as he’d been anxious to the point of dreading it.

For better and worse, it went almost  _completely as expected_.

And god, Hinata felt so utterly exhausted that he could’ve checked out early. He almost did, but—he had spent so long staring at the door, hoping for  _that guy_  to show up and he never did. He might as well wait a little longer. But he also might as well take a break and head outside for some fresh air and to somewhat stifle Mioda’s deafening concert.

It only figures this was how things turned out.

He had expected Kuzuryuu and Peko to be outside, but it was just one person. Someone with their hood up so that their face couldn’t be seen. For all intents and purposes, this should’ve just been some faceless nobody, but—Hinata knew right away it was him.

“Komaeda.”

Komaeda turns to him with that same smile of stardust and crushed glass. Just like before, that smile embedded itself in him, and Hinata trembled a little in a way that wasn’t just because of the chilly air. Komaeda’s ivory hair, his fair skin, even in shadows—he was positively glowing just as he had in high school.

“Hinata-kun,” he greets, tugging his hood down. “It’s been a while.”

Hinata blinks, and then, “Your hair’s shorter.”

“Ah, yes,” Komaeda agrees cheerfully, and the curls don’t bounce like before. The strands aren’t even long enough to wrap his fingers in anymore. “It just started growing back, you see. Isn’t that a relief? I don’t think I’d be able to show my face with a buzzed head.”

_Buzzed?_

“I should consider myself lucky for my health having improved enough that I’m able to be here,” Komaeda goes on, giggling as he does. “But, well, maybe that’s bad luck for everyone else. Our classmates must’ve hoped they’d never see me again.”

Hinata stares, and with a sigh, he approaches the other.

“Ah, but, enough about me,” Komaeda says cheerfully, waving his hand. “Hinata-kun, how has your life been? Dreadfully normal and average, isn’t that ri—?”

Hinata takes his hand, firmly shaking it.

“I’ve been well,” he replies to Komaeda’s blank, wide-eyed stare before smiling up at him. “It’s been a while, Komaeda. I’m glad you came.”

Komaeda blinked once, and somehow, he smiles back so easily in spite of everything.

“I’m happy to be here, Hinata-kun.”

 

**not actually soulmates AU**

 

He doesn’t remember when exactly he and Komaeda met, but there’s some strange part of him that tells him it was important. If Komaeda felt the same way, he didn’t know, but the thing was that regardless… Ever since they met, they meshed together nicely.

They didn’t belong together, though. He’d known from the get-go that Komaeda wasn’t meant to be  _his_ —and Hinata also instinctively knew he didn’t belong to _him_  either. Whoever Hinata’s soul mate really was—he hadn’t met them yet. As for Komaeda…  Well,  _his_  soul mate actually was no longer a factor. He was one of  _those_  cases—the very tragic but not that uncommon ones.

But that wasn’t a thing that Komaeda let upset him, and when he finally managed to ask him about it… Komaeda didn’t bother beating around the bush with how he felt about his ‘lost love’.

“I never knew who they were,” Komaeda had told him, arms folded with an air of nonchalance compared to Hinata’s chest aching with sympathy. “They died a long time ago—a little before I met you, I think. I haven’t mourned them… But I don’t think I even have the right to. I never knew them, after all.”

_But they were your soul mate._  Hinata wants to say but the words get stuck because he’s sure Komaeda knows that. And Komaeda still chooses to be okay with the situation when Hinata doesn’t know what he’d do. The knowledge his own soul mate is still out there, somewhere, waiting for him sits heavily in his gut. It’s the same knowledge that holds his tongue—because the last thing he wants to do is insult Komaeda by trying to understand something he has no idea about.

“Really, it’s fine,” Komaeda says anyway because he sees that sad look on Hinata’s face. He smiles softly, brightly at him in a way that stills his world. “But now you know, Hinata-kun. It’s nothing to worry about, see? I’ve long since gotten over it.”

But Komaeda had always been like that—downplaying his issues and the difficulties life had handed him with a smile and a laugh. Hinata, who would spend continuous hours mulling over his faults and insecurities, couldn’t help but admire him for it.

Because sometimes  _he_  would worry, for hours on end even when Komaeda was speaking to him, about what would happen when he met his soul mate. It already seemed too good to be true, the idea of someone  _meant_ for him, who’d _accept_  him for all his failings and shortcomings—another person  _like Komaeda_ who would smile at him and then soothe his worries with a calming smile and a chipper ‘it’s alright’.

Another person like Komaeda…but wasn’t actually Komaeda.

 

**Hinata with a hat AU**

 

“I don’t like it.”

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t like it. My ears are cold so I’m wearing it.”

“I’ll buy you earmuffs,” Komaeda says, and his cheeks are puffed out. “Those suit you much better, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata scoffs at that. “What kind of statement is that? I like this hat. It suits me.”

“Ugh…” Komaeda groaned as he eyed the knitted…thing on his boyfriend’s head. Actually, it was pretty decently made—and those darker shades of green did go with Hinata’s eyes… But…

_It was just…!_

“It hides your antennae!” he whines, high-pitched and almost wheezing because of it. Not like that stopped him from going on that, “You’re just not Hinata-kun without it!”

“Hah?” Hinata stared at him, bewildered. “That’s your problem with it?”

“It’s a very significant problem!” Komaeda snapped, completely serious as he claimed, “I’m not even sure if you’re Hinata-kun anymore! You could be an imposter—in fact you most likely are! Take off your hat right this instance so that I can check!”

“You’re being utterly ridiculous, Komaeda.” Hinata pulled the hat even further down so that it’s tighter against his head. Despite the act of defiance, he does, admittedly, feel like his spikey hair is  _protesting_. “You tie your hair back sometimes. This isn’t that much different.”

Komaeda rolled his eyes.

“Hinata-kun, I truly and utterly adore you from the bottom of my heart. That said, you’re completely and utterly wrong. It is, in fact, quite different.”

“Sometimes you pull your hood up,” Hinata pointed out. “Is that any different?”

“That’s for protection—also you can still see a lot of my hair even with my hood up, Hinata-kun. It sticks out regardless.”

“And for me…?”

“If I can’t see your bangs or your spikes, I don’t know who you are. Who are you? I have money. You can have money.” Komaeda even pulls out his wallet, meeting his stare with the upmost seriousness. “How much?”

“Komaeda,” he groans, haggardly. “I’m not…”

“How much will it cost to get that  _thing_  removed?”

“You’re acting like it’s a wart or something!”

“It might as well be.”

“It’s NOT that bad, Komaeda! Just chill, will you?!”

Komaeda puffed his cheeks out. He clicks his wallet shut. Hinata keeps on glaring, determined not to lose face, especially with this level of baffling ridiculously.

_Seriously, what even the hell….?_

Suddenly, Komaeda sighs, putting his wallet away and sticking out his lower lip. Hinata perked up, instinctively swallowing, and Komaeda let out a nearly inaudible mumble of, “Maybe I  _am_  overreacting…”

“Uh, yeah,” Hinata just agrees because he’s not sure what else, and rubs awkwardly at the back of his neck. “But, look, it’s… Not a big deal. I’m not mad…”

“Maybe I’ll start wearing a knitted cap too,” Komaeda mused and then, lighting up, he exclaimed, “I just saw a really pretty one a few stores over! Once I get it on, I’ll never take it off!”

“…Eh… Huh?” Hinata felt like he’d been shocked with a joy buzzer. “But… If you do that… I won’t be able to ruffle your hair anymore…”

“Then that’s settled!!” Komaeda was already striding towards the aforementioned store, cheerfully oblivious to Hinata stumbling after him. “I’ll be back, Hinata-kun!!”

“Komaeda?! WAIT— _KOMAEDA_ …!”

 

**AU where Hinata gets shrunk down tiny, possibly because of Monokuma or Usami magic issues. Komaeda is confused.**

 

“Hinata-kun?” There were a couple of soft knocks accompanying that soft call of his name. “Hinata-kun?  _Hinata-kun_?”

Oh god, Hinata was absolutely terrified.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Hinata-kun?” Louder, like Komaeda didn’t hear him. Of course. “Hinata-kun, did you say something?”

“Y-YEAH?!” Swallowing back, Hinata proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs. “I—DON’T COME IN!! I-I’M FINE!!!”

“You don’t sound too good,” Komaeda muses worriedly and no, no,  _no_! This was the  _last thing he wanted_! “Hinata-kun, scream if this is a bad idea, and it might be… But I think I’m going to come inside to check on you, alright? I know it’s beyond impertinent for a worm like me to barge, but I really should check on you to make sure…!”

Never mind, _this_  was the last thing he wanted. And it didn’t matter if he screamed because Komaeda—

Komaeda opened the door. Hinata darted under the covers, and tried not to shake.

Komaeda wasn’t going to notice with him like  _this_.

Komaeda didn’t notice him now, and was looking around with upmost confusion. “Ah, huh…? Did I imagine Hinata-kun’s voice…?”

Hinata was starting to regret his decisions. Why did he think shouting when he was this damn small would have the same effect as his usual,  _normal_  size?

“But Souda-kun and Kuzuryuu-kun both mentioned they hadn’t seen him… No one else mentioned seeing him…” Komaeda stepped inside, dutifully slipping off his shoes before shutting the door behind him. Oh  _no_. “This early in the day, isn’t Hinata-kun usually at the restaurant? Hinata-kun’s a bit of a late riser after all…”

_Is he seriously sticking around my cabin to investigate?! Just leave, Komaeda! Mind your own business!_

Too bad Komaeda was one of the nosiest people he had the misfortune of knowing.

This is Mioda’s fault for breaking the lock on his door.

“Bed isn’t made,” Komaeda notes with a thoughtful expression. Hinata immediately flinches as he goes on. “Hinata-kun usually isn’t so untidy, even this early in the morning.”

_Maybe I just got lazy! You don’t know!_  Except that excuse sounded lame even in his own head. Hinata’s mild orderliness was practically a quirk and hell, he usually  _did_  make his bed without fail in the morning. And, well…

Unfortunately, there were other things. Other things that Komaeda, of course, noticed.

“His shoes are still here,” Komaeda says, and then, directing his stare elsewhere. “His bathroom’s unoccupied. I would’ve heard the shower anyway and, well, if he was on the toilet, he definitely would have shouted…”

Wow, when laid out like that, this situation sounded really worrying and suspicious, didn’t it? Hinata wanted to either cry or laugh hysterically.

“Hinata-kun wouldn’t be running outside without his shoes… And if he’s not in the bathroom…” Komaeda walked toward the bed. Hinata gripped the blanket over himself even tighter, willed himself into stillness as he felt the mattress shift with Komaeda gripping the bed’s edge…

And then Komaeda peered underneath, calling out, “Hinata-kun? Did you roll under here, perhaps?”

_Are you SERIOUS right now?!_

Apparently Komaeda was, because he was  _pawing_  around under the bed, humming in thought as he did. Hinata wished he could just disappear, and he strongly contemplated how bad death could really be at a time like this.

“No good, nothing except…” A pause. And yet, Komaeda’s unflappable tone didn’t even change. “Hinata-kun has…questionably average taste…”

“What the  _HELL_ is that supposed to mean?!” Hinata immediately screeched. And then he regretted it, because Komaeda proceeded to thump his head  _hard_ against the bed’s underside, making them both yelp and Hinata topple back like the world shook underneath him.

“Oww… Ow…” Komaeda pulled back, rubbing at his sore head, groaning, teary-eyed. “N-No…doubt… I definitely heard Hinata-kun’s voice but…”

Hinata found himself crawling onto the top of the blanket, groaning himself. “Oh god… Oh  _fuck_ …”

“Ah… Huh?” Komaeda blinked several times over as Hinata wearily met his wide, wide eyes. His grimace deepened, even as Komaeda’s mouth remained a perfect circle. “ _Hinata-kun_?”

Haggardly, sighing and despairingly, Hinata waved and flopped onto the blanket face-down.

“Hinata-kun, you’re  _tiny_!” Komaeda gasped, whispery and awestruck. Hinata didn’t bother dignifying that with an answer. But when he finally pulled his head up to see, Komaeda was gripping the edge of the bed with both his hands, curious doe eyes peering into his little soul with a childlike wonder.

“Komaeda,” Hinata sighs, and then clears his throat so that he can speak a little louder. “Komaeda. I just woke up like this and I have no idea  _why_.”

“What a mystery!” Komaeda squealed, almost hitting a high-enough pitch to make Hinata wince and cover his ears. Of course, Komaeda covered his mouth shyly in response to that, apologetic as he went on, reasonably softer. “But…! In such a small form—you must be in such despair, Hinata-kun!”

“You ain’t ever lying,” Hinata grumbled, and then, louder, “That’s because this is a  _despairing_  situation to be in!”

“To think all the things that can happen to you when you’re this tiny…” Komaeda goes on. “Ah, what if Saionji-san wanted to squish you like an ant?! Or crush you like a crab?! What if Tanaka-kun’s hamsters  _tore you apart_?!”

Fuck. He didn’t think about that.

“Y-You can’t tell anyone…” Hinata found himself stammering, and when Komaeda looked at him in confusion, he shouted, “PROMISE YOU WON’T TELL ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THIS!!”

“Oh! As you wish, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda chirps, and presses his hands to his cheeks with a dreamy, self-deprecating smile. “To think a SHSL would trust a worm like me with keeping such a secret…! I could almost cry!”

“Please don’t cry,” Hinata deadpanned.  _It’s not like I had a choice. What the hell kind of person just intrudes on a personal cabin?!_

Never mind Komaeda had good reason to worry—but  _STILL_.

“Hey,” he starts, swallowing as Komaeda once again fixed him with full, wide-eyed attention. “Y-You don’t think…me being this size is going to be permanent, right? I-I mean, I have to return to normal eventually, right?”

“I mean,” Komaeda looks him up and down, what little there is to look at. “That’s a hopeful way of looking at things—but this situation is quite…abnormal, Hinata-kun…”

“T-This trip started with a crazy stuffed rabbit turning a chicken into a cow!” Hinata burst out hysterically. And then he paused. “The stuffed rabbit. You don’t think this is her fault? Who else could it be?!”

“A glitch in the Matrix?” Komaeda asked innocently, batting his eyelashes. When Hinata scowled, Komaeda just laughed, waving his hands. “Sorry, sorry! I’ll be serious! Though this does almost seem like a video game hack in action, Hinata-kun. Sometimes, Souda-kun would mess around with Nanami-san’s games, and he’d do things like change character model sizes and…other…things… Nanami-san was quite cross with him for messing with code as opposed to playing the game itself! But you have to admit the results were interesting!!”

Hinata stared at him, glazed and straight-lipped.

“Sorry,” Komaeda apologized again, ducking his head. “I just thought it’d be funny to bring up, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata sighs. “No… If you’re trying to lighten the mood, I appreciate it. But like, I don’t think you realize how terrifying it is being like this. If I hopped off my bed right now, I could  _die_  from the fall, Komaeda.”

“Just a raindrop could bruise every inch of your body!” Komaeda added brightly. “Yes, I understand! What a horrifyingly despairing predicament!”

Hinata, as unsettled as he was by how quickly and cheerfully he responded, just nodded.

_This is Komaeda, after all._

“L-Look, if… If that rabbit had something to do with it… Then we need to see if she can…undo whatever this is.”

_Or,_ Hinata thought bitterly as he glared at the security camera in the corner of the room.  _She can just—undo it right_ **now** _since someone has to have noticed by now. Just what the hell is going on around here anyway?_

“It might just be a short-term effect, but we should check with Usami if we can,” Komaeda mused. “Ah, Hinata-kun, we should keep you somewhere safe in the meantime. Since no one ever bothers me except you, why don’t I take you to my cottage for the moment?”

“That might be a good idea,” Hinata muttered. As much as he disliked going out into the open, his cottage wasn’t exactly safe either with its busted lock and the fact that Komaeda was far from the only person who liked barging in without permission. “So, uh, are you just going to carry me in your hand or on your shoulder, or…?”

“Oh, no, my hands are too clammy. You might just slip out!” Komaeda laughed, but the way he was fidgeting with said hands suggested he really was embarrassed about that. “I’ll keep you in my coat’s breast pocket, Hinata-kun. It’s a bit small but… I keep a lot of things in the other pockets… Unless you want to ride on my shoulder? My hair should be easy to hold onto.”

“Your pocket’s fine,” Hinata said. He did stare a little intensely at Komaeda’s shoulder, taking in the baggy hood and especially prominent collarbone. It looked so much frailer when he was at normal size—but he still found himself wondering.

All the same, he crawled onto Komaeda’s hand when it was placed down before him. And he held on tight to the edge of his sleeve as Komaeda used both hands to scoop him up to said breast pocket.

“Ah, Hinata-kun, this is a little awkward and…you’re heavier than I thought you’d be so…”

Hinata snorted.  _Should I be insulted?_

It didn’t really matter. He crawled into Komaeda’s pocket, keeping his gaze resolutely upwards until he settled inside and—he’s sure his gut bottomed out when Komaeda stood up, and he realized just how  _tall_  the other was.

“O-Oh no…” he croaked and settled in as deeply as he could get, even if it required bending his legs weirdly. He forced himself to breath to not panic—just— _ohhh my god_ —

“Hinata-kun…?” Komaeda gently prodded the top of his head with his index finger, chuckling a bit, causing his chest against Hinata’s small back to vibrate. “Relax, it’s unsightly for a SHSL to lose their cool at a time like this.”

“S-Shut up,” Hinata choked out, but he found himself calming if he just listened to Komaeda’s heartbeat. It should have been uncomfortably loud, and it was definitely a weird sensation, it wasn’t really…unpleasant. “Right. Uh, try to walk carefully, Komaeda.”

“Understood, Hinata-kun! You can tug on one of the hood’s strings if you need anything.” Komaeda was already pushing one of said string towards him. He grabbed it, gave it an experimental tug, and nodded, to Komaeda’s delight. “Alright! Let’s get going then!”

“C-Careful! Don’t  _skip_ , Komaeda!”

Oh, this was going to be one long day.


	11. KamuKoma - 4 Snippets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pool, Fireworks, Massage, Bath.
> 
> Yep those are the prompts. They're all sfw with mild suggestive themes and that's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been posting enough KamuKoma!!! Despair!!! T-That's in part because I unsurprisingly get a lot more KomaHina requests than KamuKoma but still... Despair... ;;
> 
> Oh, but these are all fluffy and light, not despairing. Yaaaaaay, haha. :'D

**Pool Party**

 

The splashing water only served to make this shimmering moment all the more sparkling. As he watched the others play around, laughing and smiling so brightly that it blended together with the sunlight, his eyes only narrowed, sharp and unimpressed.

“…Boring.”

“You’re boring, Kamukura-kun!” he hears Komaeda chirp, laughter even more radiant. Kamukura twitched, but he didn’t turn to the other as he plopped down beside him. He didn’t need to. He knew exactly the kind of face Komaeda would be making. “Kamukura-kun, Kamukura-kun.”

Komaeda bumped shoulders with him. He’s still wearing that obnoxious green coat over his swimshorts, and yet, he kicks his feet into the water without care.  
  
“It’s refreshing, at least, isn’t it?” Komaeda asks cheerfully. Again, crimson eyes narrow, but he does not turn. “The water feels nice!”

“…It is not unpleasant,” Kamukura replied, brushing back his neatly tied back ponytail. He can feel Komaeda’s eyes boring into him from the motion. This time he does glance back. Komaeda quickly averted his gaze, pink-cheeked.

Kamukura blinks once, and there’s not so much as a twitch in his cool expression.

And then, without another word, he reached out, hand warm against Komaeda’s slim, bony back. Komaeda flinched, blush darkening as he turned to him with those big, shimmering doe eyes. At this rate, he’d start steaming from the ears.

So Kamukura did the reasonable thing and pushed him into the pool to cool off. He was just being a good friend, really.

 

**Fireworks**

 

It was about .06732 of a second before the first bursts of fireworks when tender, dry lips pressed against his cheek. Komaeda hurriedly pulled away with a gasp, illuminated by starlight and various other colors as the sky crackled and popped with vibrant explosions.

“Um…” Komaeda hesitated, cheeks pinking even more, before stammering on. “W-We’re going to be…stuck together now, Kamukura-kun. Because. If you kiss someone just as the fireworks are going off, that…ties you two together…right?”

Kamukura blinked once, and nodded.

“Right, that is indeed how the rumor goes.”

“It’s not just a rumor!” Komaeda protested. “It’s a hopeful promise, a  _wish_!”

“Wishful thinking,” Kamukura corrected. Komaeda pouted.

“You’ve no sense of romance whatsoever, Kamukura-kun! Is that really the extent of your  _hope_?”

“It is,” he answered bluntly, making Komaeda flinch, frown deeply, and then shiver. Kamukura sighed, and he reached out, cupping Komaeda’s cheek, stroking his thumb over the delicate curve.

Within the next burst of several fireworks, dyeing the sky magenta and green, he leaned in for another tentative, hopeful little kiss.

 

**A Massage**

 

“You really don’t have to be here, Kamukura-kun.”

“No,” he said simply. “But I’m here nonetheless.”

Behind his open book, Komaeda giggled. He flips the page, eyes sweeping over the lines of words and prose. It wasn’t a terribly interesting read, but it was one that held his attention nonetheless and he might as well finish when he’s come this far into the story.

“I wish there were a way to make this more entertaining…” Komaeda mused. “You really don’t want to try reading something?”

“I’ve read everything here,” Kamukura replied flatly.

“And none of the books you read are interesting enough for a reread?”

“No. I’ve already noticed and analyzed every bit of every text. There is no need to revisit what I’m already so familiarized with.”

_Then what’s with your fixation on me?_ He could ask. He decides against it, if only because of how disgustingly presumptuous it sounded. For all he knew, it was simply because Kamukura hated staying in his room and staring at a wall all day. It had nothing to do with Komaeda in particular.

No, he was just lucky that Kamukura arbitrarily picked him. That’s all. That’s all it would ever be.

When he glanced up from his book, Kamukura was gone.

“Ah, huh…?”

“You look tense,” came Kamukura’s voice from behind.

Komaeda nearly jumped, and he most certainly flinched.

“Ah, Kamukura-kun! I’m…!” He nearly choked on his laugh. “Ah, tense? Why would I be tense?”

“Your posture,” Kamukura said matter-of-factly and before Komaeda could say anything, Kamukura had reached down and squeezed his shoulders just  _such_ in a way he melted then and there. “It’s because you always keep your shoulders hunched and your head low, Nagito.”

“Ha… Haha… O _oh_ … Really?” Oh,  _god_ , he could have died then and there from how good it felt. Was this how Owari felt whenever Nidai did  _it_? Was this _it_ for him? He didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all. “That’s… Hhn… Y-You don’t have to worry about that…”

And yet, Kamukura continued to squeeze and knead out those knots out of his shoulders and backs like dough. Komaeda couldn’t help but moan, gasping out in relief under the hard press of his thumbs against the base of his neck.

It must’ve sounded positively obscene.

But Kamukura didn’t seem to mind at all. Not at  _all_.

“K-Kamukura-kun… Ooh… P- _Please_ …”

“Komaeda,” Kamukura says, lowly almost like a whisper. Komaeda felt his world spinning, felt like a puddle of goo, and… “You’re drooling.”

So he was. And on the book, too. Oh dear.

Komaeda wiped it clean with his sleeve, even as his hand was trembling. In the end, he just slammed it shut and shoved it away to fold his arms on the table and bury his face with a sigh.

“It… It might be selfish and beyond impudent to…to…”

“Would you like me to continue?” Kamukura asks, and his hands are gentle on his shoulders. His thumb strokes the nape of his neck.

Komaeda shivers, and nodded furiously.

 

**Sharing A Bath/Swim**

 

“It’s relaxing, isn’t it?”

“It’s designed to be.”

Komaeda giggles, flushed with his hair pinned up, and yet, some of the ivory strands were still stuck to his face due to sweat. Kamukura, with his hair also done up neatly and perfectly, only stared back at him.

“That’s not really an answer,” Komaeda said cheerfully. “Are you too bored to even relax, Kamukura-kun?”

Kamukura didn’t answer, and his expression didn’t change. Sighing, Komaeda just relaxed against his side of the bath, chuckling lowly.

“Really, I wonder why you even wanted to join me…”

“The bath relaxes you,” Kamukura said. “The chemicals and fragrances put you in a state of ease.”

“That doesn’t answer my question either,” Komaeda grumbles, even if it’s good-naturedly.

“It doesn’t,” Kamukura said. Or maybe asked? It was difficult to tell, really, and Komaeda was starting to get a bit drowsy. Of course, Kamukura perked up on that. “Don’t fall asleep, Nagito.”

“You’re here to keep me from drowning, so I’m not worried,” Komaeda says with a yawn. “Ehe, maybe that’s why you’re here. To keep an eye on me. You really are so kind, Kamukura-kun…”

Kamukura doesn’t say anything, but, his eyes do narrow, gaze sharpening on Komaeda’s flushed smile, his flushed shoulders and the pronounced protrusions of his collarbone… The blush had reached his ears and neck, as well…

“Yes,” he replied plainly. “It’s to keep an eye on you.”


	12. KamuKoma - 6 Winter Writing Prompts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aside from the first one, all are sfw. All the prompts are taken from an ask meme of winter prompts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ask meme mentoned is a pretty recent one but I still enjoyed writing these prompts. :D
> 
> Last one mentions death/graves, just as a forewarning. In general I do feel like some of these are rather melancholy. But most of it is cute. Yeye.

**presents**

 

“A-Ahaha… Haha… I-Izuru…!!!”

“What?”

Nagito wouldn’t look at him, still laughing uncontrollably and nervously, face flushed to his ears.

“Um… U-Um… S-Sorry… I… I just…”

Izuru frowned.

“I suppose you do not wish to unwrap your present, then.”

_Did I make a miscalculation?_  he wondered, irritated at the very thought. _I know this is what Nagito’s into. And he is not a virgin. So…_

Why was his naked body tied up with a ribbon, finished off with a bow…getting such a ridiculous reaction?

_…this is…unexpected… I was expecting him to at least drool…_

Instead…

“S-Sorry…!”

Nagito practically threw his coat at him.

“…I-I just can’t…think straight…not with Izuru…!” He covered his face, steaming from the ears. “Y… You look…really cute…especially with that bow on your head…”

Izuru blinked but slipped on the coat all the same. Irritably, he sniffed at Nagito’s sleeve.

“…Nagito…”

Nagito burst out laughing until he shivered.

“…I-I’m sorry… I just need…some time to take everything in…” Nagito covered his mouth. “Right now, my heart’s palpitating so wildly that it might burst from my chest.”

_…ah…_

“I understand,” he said calmly. “Take as much time as you need.”

 

**ice skating**

 

His legs wouldn’t stop shaking even as Kamukura skirted by with so much grace it was as though he glided atop the ice.

“You look like a struggling baby deer, Nagito.”

“Aha…!” Nagito waved his arms wildly to retain his balance. “S-Sorryyyy… It goes without saying I’ve…never done this before…”

“As I predicted,” Kamukura hummed before twirling around, Nagito’s breath catching at the sight.

Kamukura took his hands, keeping him steady.

“Just move your feet in a manner similar to my own. Think wavelengths.”

Nagito’s teeth chattered with excitement and anxiety.

“Deep breaths, Nagito. Calm down.”

“W-What if the ice breaks…?!”

“Then I will fish you out.” Kamukura didn’t so much as miss a beat. “It will be okay, Nagito. Breath. In, out.”

“U-Uuu… Ah… Hah…” Komaeda swallowed. “Kamukura-kun’s hands…are warm…and guiding…like light at the end of the tunnel…”

Kamukura frowned at that.

“…That is not the best simile you could have used.”

“E-Ehehe… Sorry.”

 

**lights**

 

“If I top you off with a star, you’d look like a Christmas tree, Kamukura-kun.”

“What a boring tree,” he replied as the colorful lights ingrained in his sweater flickered merrily. “Is there a reason I have to wear this tacky thing?”

“Um… You didn’t  _have_  to…” Komaeda giggled, bumping shoulders with him. “It was just…handed to you. You didn’t have to put it on, Kamukura-kun.”

Kamukura gave him an unimpressed look. Any other person would have been intimated or frightened, but Komaeda laughed it off with ease.

“It doesn’t suit you at all,” he said, flicking at one of the various lights. “These vibrant colors…don’t suit you at all.”

“Of course not. You know as well as I do that I do not have the demeanor that would complement such a tacky thing.”

“You keep calling it tacky and it is, but it’s also well-made,” Komaeda hummed. “So give it at least some credit. It’s not itchy, right?”

“I could not care less.”

“Boo, you really are a boring tree,” Komaeda pouted at him before giggling. “But, y’know, Kamukura-kun’s eyes could be vibrant like these lights. I’d like to see them light up someday.”

Kamukura blinked at him.

“…That is such a boring, asinine sentiment to have.”

“You say that but there was a flicker in your eyes just then!” Komaeda exclaimed feverishly. “I saw it, Kamukura-kun, I did!”

“…boring.”

“Kamukura-kun, you’re embarrassed, aren’t you?!”

“ _Boring_.”

Despite that, he hurriedly looked away as Komaeda swooned.

 

**singing**

 

Nagito was singing along softly to the radio, arms folded as he traced shapes onto the fogged up window. A clover, a heart, a star…

_Ah. And myself._

Though Nagito’s drawing skills couldn’t be less mediocre. It was…the thought that counted.

“…Nagito.”

Nagito continued to hum as he perked up. Rather peculiar but not worth over-analyzing.

Except not. It’s Nagito, after all.

“Do you have a personal attachment to the song playing?” he asked with a tilt of his head. “You seem to know it quite well.”

Nagito stopped, cheeks coloring like a shamefaced child.

“…my father really liked this song,” he said rather quietly. “He, um, had an album and…when working over winter… He’d play it over and over again, ahaha… When I worked on my homework in his study, I heard it so many times that I know it by heart…”

He squirmed, shuffling his feet.

“…So when I hear it, I can’t help but sing. It’s…rather bittersweet and nostalgic but…it’s still…a good song.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “It is rather well-structured.”

Nagito nodded.

“…If you enjoy it, I can buy you the album if you like.”

Nagito looked up at him, eyes sparkling and he gave a soft smile.

“…Thank you, Kamukura-kun. You don’t have to, of course.”

_No. I do if I want to see the smiles I’ll receive from you in response, Nagito._

 

**dancing**

 

It really was unfortunate. So terribly, terribly unfortunate. It was such bad luck he wanted to cry…!

_I really do have amazing bad luck…!_

He was jittery as he watched everyone else dance and sway. Especially Kamukura. Ooh,  _Kamukura-kun_. So graceful and elegant in his motions even as that dull, impassive expression remained!

_The misfortune of twisting my ankle and not being able to freely dance with Kamukura-kun… What fortune awaits me?_

Well, he did get his cast signed by his class. That was nice. Even Kamukura’s elegant script was added. He traces it idly, sighing.

_Aah, I shouldn’t have even come… It’s not like anyone would miss me… Even Kamukura-kun…_

And, indeed, some of them were probably disappointed that he did come wobbling in. And they were quite content to ignoring him.

_Quite content…_

“I am bored with this, Komaeda Nagito.”

Komaeda jumped at that, blinking up at Kamukura’s deep frown. He almost looked like he was…pouting…?

_Eh, huh? Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh???_

“You do not seem to be enjoying yourself either. Let’s leave, then.”

“O-Oh… No! No, Kamukura-kun, I’m enjoying myself!” he exclaimed. “Just watching you makes me happy! I am envious that others get to dance with you but that’s it…!”

“…is that so…?” Kamukura tilted his head. “Then we can dance together.”

“…but…” Komaeda’s smile strained. “Kamukura-kun, I can’t stand on this leg.”

“Then I will carry you on my own feet if I must.” Kamukura extended a hand. “I will do all the necessary work, so do not worry, Nagito.”

“…I don’t want to trouble you…” Still he reached for his hand, even as he hesitated. “I just…”

Kamukura took his hand, squeezed, and helped him up, completely supporting his entire weight easily as Komaeda clung to him.

“There we are.”

And with that, Kamukura swept him away.

 

**reflection**

 

“Ah, s-sorry I’m back so late! I meant to arrive this morning but…there was complications with the train…and the bus… And the hotel… Sorry… Sorry, sorry, I really am a terrible child, ahaha…”

Komaeda bowed deeply, still with that shamefaced smile and down-turned gaze.

“…Sorry… Mother… Father…” He straightened himself with a deep breath. “Ah, yes, I did…bring one of my…classmates, I suppose.”

“Kamukura Izuru,” he said with a polite bow of his own. “It is nice to meet you.”

“We’re not friends,” Komaeda said quickly. “I hate him. But he followed me here anyway because he was bored. Can you believe that? Ah, but… Kamukura-kun is a regrettably impressive individual…and he did offer to help me tidy up the graves…”

“After last time, the teacher did not want you going off on your own,” Kamukura replied lowly. “No one else was willing to accompany you.”

“…teacher’s not my parent,” Komaeda grumbled in frustration and gestured to the graves irritably. “ _They_ are.”

Kamukura’s gaze flickered to the gravestones. They were worn…and cracked. Unsurprising. Boring.

Komaeda mutely grabs a sponge, soaks it with the soapy water he brought, and gets to work scrubbing the graves. Just as quietly, Kamukura pulls out the weeds.

Komaeda is thorough when cleaning, and seems to find comfort in it, humming along a soft tune from decades ago.

No doubt a tune his parents once enjoyed.

_…Boring…_

Kamukura finds himself looking at his reflection in the water’s surface. He blinked a few times.

_…I do not…even know anything about the couple who produced this body besides their names and faces. Not their likes, dislikes, or the memories they have with the person who was erased._

His sense of detachment and boredom grew, and his gaze flickered back to Komaeda, to the sad look of content.

When Komaeda noticed his staring, rather than glaring back as he usually did, he looked away.

“…sorry you have to see such a shameful sight, Kamukura-kun.”

_He’s talking about the sorry state of the graves, isn’t he? They’re only this battered because of his luck. How boring. It’s boring._

“…it is alright, Komaeda Nagito.”


	13. KomaHina - 5 Winter Writing Prompts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aside from the first one, first three are nsfw. All the prompts are taken from an ask meme of winter prompts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from the same ask meme as the prompts from last chapter. There aren't any warnings, I...think...? There's a failed first time, but that's about it.
> 
> Yeah...

**christmas outfits**

 

_Oh shit._

“Hajime!” Nagito flashed him a beaming smile. “Good morning! It’s getting pretty cold, isn’t it? Do your nipples feel like they’re about to fall off? Ehehe…”

Hinata blinked once, twice, and swallowed.

“…So you’re actually _wearing_ that getup?”

“It’s a lot comfier than it looks,” Nagito said, wrapping his arms around himself as the red velvet hugged his curves, the fluffy trimming looking all the more inviting. “And even on someone like me, I think it’s…cute.”

_Cute… Yeah…_

Hinata couldn’t help but ogle his legs, more specifically the candy-cane stripes adorning his thighs and calves.

_Fuck…_

The toaster dinged so Nagito went to fetch his toast and–ooh,look at that _back_.

“It’s up already?” Nagito asked him teasingly, and Hinata rushed off with a squeal. Nagito’s responding laughter rung in his ears for what felt like hours.

 

**sitting on ‘santa’s’ lap**

“…pfff…”

“You said you wouldn’t laugh, Nagito.”

“A-Aha… Haha…! I’m not…laughing at you…! It’s just…” Nagito muffled another giggle. “You’re so…red, Hinata-kun! In face and in your outfit…!”

_Fucking Souda… Who the hell even asks for matching Santa outfits anyway?!_

Well at least he wouldn’t be the only one.

“…It’s really cute,” Nagito offered as the weakest condolence he ever heard. “Red really suits you. Hinata-kun’s super passionate and hot-blooded after all!”

“…not…really…”

“Yes!” Without warning, Nagito crawled onto his lap, making him jump. “Hinata-kun, you definitely look good if nothing else!”

“A-Ah… N… Nagito…!”

“Hmm…?” Nagito tilted his head and squirmed to get in a more comfortable position. Hinata shuddered and winced as he was practically straddled. “Hinata-kun…?”

“Y… You’re…moving around too much…”

“No more so than usual… Oh,” Nagito exhaled as he looked down and Hinata’s cheeks burst into flames. “Aha… Ehehehe… Hinata-kun, so _sinful_ …!”

“S-Shut up!!!”

“Mmm… Okay… I’ll just kiss you instead.”

Hinata’s breath caught before their lips met. Unable to help himself, he moaned softly as the kiss deepened.

_God…_ He couldn’t help but think as his hands went to squeeze Nagito’s rump. _There **must** be something wrong with me._

 

**the night before christmas**

“H-Hajime-kun?!”

“Just…think of it as an early Christmas present…”

Komaeda squealed under his touch, which just made his blush darken even more as he ran his hands up Komaeda’s abdomen.

“H-Hajime…kun…!!”

“Nagito, relax, it’s just me…!” he exclaimed, ears red. “S… Should I stop, then…?”

Komaeda bit his lip and shook his head hurriedly.

“No… No… I’m just…sorry…” He covered his face, muffling a raspy laugh. “I-I just… Overwhelmed… Y’know…? We’ve fooled around a couple of times but this is completely different…”

_Yeah this could actually be romantic._

Could be. But like this, there wasn’t much hope for them.

“Honestly, I was planning something like this later,” Komaeda rambled on. “Um, um, for your birthday I was…gonna get in your cake all naked and pop out, yelling _surprise_ and then you’d carry me away to clean off the frosting and things would go…naturally from there…”

Hinata froze.

“…N- _ **Naturally**_ …?!”

“Was I wrong?” Komaeda whined, looking like he was about to cry. “I thought it’d be a good present!”

“No, no…!” Hinata scrambled to cup his face and stroke his cheeks. “No, I just…! Geez, you overthought it, too?”

Unable to help himself, he snorted, and couldn’t help but laugh, leaning in and pressing his forehead to Komaeda’s.

“J-Just… Haha… Oh my god, Nagito…! What even gave you that idea?!”

“…the people on the forums,” Komaeda muttered sheepishly. Hinata kissed his cheek. “But now the surprise is ruined. I’ll just lay back and let you have your way with me, then…”

“Nagito…” Hinata’s smile dropped as he nuzzled his neck. “I… Sorry… But like hell I’ll just…h-have my way with you… That’s…not…how _it_ works…”

“For some people, it is,” Komaeda sighed. Hinata shook his head.

“Not for us. How about…when we’re both ready and agreed…?”

“But Hajime-kun, my early Christmas present.”

“…I’ll give you a massage instead?”

Komaeda blinked and then beamed.

“I love you, Hajime-kun!”

Hinata blushed terribly at that, especially as Komaeda all too happily flipped over.

“…I…” Unable to help himself, he ogled Komaeda’s back. “Same…”

 

**mistletoe**

 

“Hinata-kun, aren’t these cute?!”

“Ah, huh…”

Hinata blinked once, eyes glazed over.

“…antlers, huh…”

“With a mistletoe tied!!” Komaeda chirped in delight, presenting the headband eagerly. “It’ll really suit you, Hinata-kun!”

“Do you want me to be kissed multiple times?” he asked, brow furrowing.

Komaeda hummed thoughtfully, tapping his cheek.

“I think our classmates would enjoy that,” he said with a laugh. “They all really like you, so seeing you with these would make them happy, ehehe…”

Hinata stared up at the ceiling as he thought about it.

_…just Mioda and Souda would be suffocating and overwhelming…_

But Komaeda’s the one who looks so hopeful, eyes sparkling with expectation. It kind of hurt to look at, but at the same time…

“…I…don’t want to be kissed by anyone who isn’t you.”

Komaeda dropped the antlers, face flushed. Blinking, Hinata knelt to pick it up and placed it atop Komaeda’s head before kissing his cheek.

“How about we just wear these when home?” he asked lowly. “We can take pictures if you want, Nagito.”

“A-Aha… Haha…!” Komaeda shivered. “T-That doesn’t sound… _too_ disagreeable…”

 

**wish**

 

“Hinata-kun, do you have any birthday wishes?”

“…Huh…?”

Hinata turned to him with a few wide-eyed blinks, still holding the tinsel in his hand. Komaeda blinked back and pressed.

“Because… Your birthday’s coming up, right?”

“…I know that, it’s just…” Hinata wrapped the tinsel around the tree hurriedly. “Most people are more focused on the New Years. I thought you would be, too.”

“Eh? But it’s your birthday! The day Hinata-kun was born! That’s very important to think about! The day we welcome a new year is the day Hinata-kun was brought into the wooooorld!!” Komaeda clasped his hands dreamily. “Hope just keeps piling and piling and it’ll be so _beautiful_ when it spills over from this year to the next!”

_…and he lost me._

“That’s why!!! I have to know Hinata-kun’s birthday wish! That way Hinata-kun can start another year of his life with good luck! I won’t let my bad luck cause a stumble on the next starting step!”

_…he really lost me…_

But, if he can at least figure out what Komaeda wants. That much is clear.

“…I wish to be with you for longer,” he said. “That’s all.”

“E-Eh…?!” Komaeda flinched, flustering incredibly. “B…Bad…! That’s a bad wish!!!”

“Haaah? How the hell is it bad?”

“You need to come up with something better, Hinata-kun!!! Hurry up! The sands of time are trickling down, down, down! They do not cease! They do not  _pause_!!!”

“Nope,” he said firmly. “My wish is that Komaeda Nagito and I will be together forever and ever. Until we’re both old men.”

“Hinata-kun!” Komaeda whined.

“And then our ashes get spread together across the ocean.”

“So morbid…!”

“Really?” he asked. “Sounds romantic to me.”

Komaeda frowned, and he sighed.

“…Hinata-kun…you’re…so… _excessive_.”

Hinata had to snort at that.

_Another reason we’re perfect for each other, Nagito._


	14. KamuKoma - 4 More Winter Writing Prompts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the prompts are taken from an ask meme of winter prompts. Slight nsfw mention on the first ficlet, which also guest stars Matsuda Yasuke from dr0. Mild creepiness warning for the last ficlet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Here are the rest of the winter prompts, I think. The last one is in the same verse as another ficlet that had the prompt of "obsession" and...yeah. Make of that what you will.

**“what do you think you’re doing?”**

 

He was having an annoying enough day as it was, and it was all the more worse with _these two_.

“Just what,” he hissed. “Do you think you’re  _doing_?”

“Helping Komaeda Nagito sleep.” Kamukura blinked up at him ever innocently, with Komaeda continuing to drool on his shoulder. “He has been having trouble with nightmares as of late.”

Matsuda scowled and then pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh.

“…Those beds…are not meant for two people, and I swear to fucking god, this is weird. Weirder than if you two decided to fuck on the fucking bed.” Matsuda sighed. “Whatever. Just pull the curtain. Coitus or not, you two make an unpleasant sight.”

Kamukura pulled the curtain. Grumbling, Matsuda went to his desk, and popped up his feet before he opened one of his manga.

“Didn’t you have actual work, Matsuda-kun?”

“Shut the hell up,” Matsuda snapped.

 

**cooking**

 

The pan was sizzling, but all he could really focus on was the sound of the knife meeting cutting board, over and over.

_If even a bit of blood got here, the whole thing would be ruined, right?_

Funny how that worked.

“Nagito, are you finished?”

“You shouldn’t ask a question you already know the answer to, Kamukura-kun.”

Kamukura blinked at him, pulling his hair back into a ponytail.

“…You should answer the questions you are asked, unnecessary or not.”

“Mmm…” Another chop. “Yep, yep.”

Kamukura takes the cutting board and knife, scraping everything into the pan. Adding seasoning, he began to cook in earnest.

He watched him with a twisting smile before washing his hands in the sink.

 _…If it were me, everything would have been blackened by now, ahaha_.

But Kamukura worked, perfect and proper as always, all with an intent focus. Adding the spices he knew Komaeda liked.

“What drinks do you want, Kamukura-kun? Milk? Juice…?”

“Whichever is fine.”

“Ahaha… That’s so infuriatingly unhelpful. Fine, I’ll decide for you.”

Juice it was.

 

**cuddling**

 

“Izuru’s so warm,” Nagito purred. “Like a furnace.”

“Hmm.”

Nagito nuzzled his neck, body rubbing so happily against his own. Their bodies were close to bare, but under the comforter like this, they were quite securely encased in shared body heat.

It was not unpleasant, and, in fact, Nagito was quite pleased.

“So warm…even on a cold winter night…even with Izuru’s cold expression…”

He kissed Izuru’s cheek with a giggle.

“It warms my heart,” Nagito cooed. “What about you? Or is Izuru still cold-hearted? That would make me despair!”

“…what a meaningless thing to despair over,” he mumbled. “How boring.”

Nagito flicked his nose, but as expected, he did not flinch.

“…I do not mind this.”

Nagito smiled at him and buried his face into Izuru’s chest.

“…your pulse is quickening,” he murmured. “Even you crave warmth like this.”

Izuru said nothing to that, but he did stiffen ever so slightly when Nagito kissed his sternum. And then, he exhaled.

“…it is what it is…”

“How boring,” Nagito said. “But you’re still beautiful, Izuru. Beautiful and warm. It makes me so giddy!”

Izuru didn’t so much as bat an eyelash, even when Nagito kissed his forehead.

“I love you.” Nagito’s smile was wide, his gaze glittering with affection. Izuru met his gaze blankly, but reached up to cup his cheek.

“And I you, Nagito.”

 

**mistletoe**

 

The party was as inane as he expected and there were mistletoe everywhere. As expected. How boring.

_Mioda Ibuki really is as troublesome as she is boring._

He sighed audibly, tucking his hair back.

_Would it be better to just slip away?_

He weighed the possibilities in his head. If Mioda noticed, which she most certainly would, considering she personally scouted him, he’d be getting quite the earful. And the others would likely join in.

_…is that worth sustaining this abject boredom…?_

Undetermined for now. Calculations would need more time. Not much more, of course, just a little…

“A-Ah, oof…!”

_Thud._

“Oi, Komaeda, watch where the HELL you’re going!”

“H… Haha… Sorry, sorry…”

On shaky arms, Komaeda pushed himself up with that simpering, serene smile.

Kamukura was by his side in an instant, offering a hand mutely. Komaeda blinked up at him, pouted, but took it.

“Ah… Kamukura-kun… Urgh… Being helped by you really  _is_  a blow to my already fragile pride, you know…? Ah.” Komaeda blinked at above them. “The bad luck continues.”

Right. There was a mistletoe tied above this spot.

“How despairing,” Komaeda sighed and kissed his cheek anyway. “But this can double as a show of gratitude, right? Now stay away from me.”

With that, Komaeda pulled his hand out of his and scampered off.

Kamukura blinked blankly after him and touched his cheek.

_…As expected, Komaeda Nagito’s lips were as smooth as they looked._

 

**“what do you think you’re doing?” take 2**

 

It is the Christmas party. Komaeda will be remaining on campus for a time as will he. For reasons unrelated to Komaeda for once, mind you, but it is convenient nonetheless as observing Komaeda without irritating extras would be all the more pleasant.

Komaeda is keeping to himself as per usual, and Kamukura itches to go over there, but someone is trying to talk to him. They are not letting him bow out of this meaningless conversation gracefully.

It is irritating.

“Kamukura-kun, what do you think you’re doing for the break?”

_Irritating._

“Kamukura-kun?”

**_Irritating._ **

“Kamukura-kun, are you listening?”

“The usual,” he snapped, and his gaze flashed when he saw Komaeda disappear out the door. “Excuse me.”

“Kamuku…!”

He moves quickly, yet quietly. Komaeda does not even notice at first, humming a sweet little tune at first. And then, Komaeda shuddered and spun around.

“…I’m just going to the bathroom.” Komaeda is tired, but still irritated. “Kamukura-kun, it’s rude to leave when someone’s trying to talk to you…”

“I do not care,” he said. “They are boring. You are not.”

Komaeda’s grimace deepened.

“…You’ll get bored of me over the winter break. It’ll largely be just us here where our class is involved…”

“We shall see.”

_I doubt it._

Komaeda sighed.

“…Don’t follow me to the bathroom.  _Please_.”

“Very well.”

Waiting out here largely in silence was much preferable to the noise of the party anyway. 


	15. KamuKoma - 4 Dialogue Prompts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light despairverse. Covers both pre-DRAE and pre-SDR2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, another long wait!!! I haven't been doing prompts on tumblr for a while due to being tied up with exchanges but I really should be more diligent when updating this when I still have a backlog. Urghhh. Sorry, sorry. Xmx

**“We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?”**

 

“Komaeda Nagito, what are you doing?”

“Ah…” A rumble of thunder as Komaeda turned on his heel, and smiled at him brightly against a flash of lightning. “Sorry, Kamukura-kun, I couldn’t resist rushing out.”

“We are in the middle of a thunderstorm…and you wanted to stop and feel the rain?” Kamukura’s expression was impassive and unimpressed as ever. “You will catch a cold.”

Komaeda giggled at that, twirling around, uselessly flicking raindrops away as he did.

“It’s really cold,” he said, teeth chattering. “I could catch my  _death_  out here.”

“Yes.” A pause. Kamukura tilted the umbrella oh so slightly. “How long do you plan on standing there?”

_You look pitiful like this, Komaeda Nagito._

Trembling, shoulders hunched, soaked to the bone with a grin splitting his face. Komaeda Nagito was a pitiful person.

“Komaeda Nagito,” he said. “I have no interest in standing out here for long.”

“Why not?” Komaeda asked brightly. “Rain is…unpredictable, isn’t it…? The winds can shift and change on a moment’s notice… The raindrops are different sizes and not at all spaced out. Several blend into one, one splits apart… Shouldn’t rain be e-exciting?”

Kamukura said nothing in response to that.

Komaeda rocked back on his heels with a laugh.

“I-I’m just…s…saying…”

Suddenly, Kamukura reached out and yanked him forward by that thin, bony wrist. Komaeda yelped, stumbling into Kamukura’s chest, damping his perfect suit with rainwater. Despite that, Kamukura wrapped an arm around him.

“…Let’s get going. Komaeda Nagito.”

“Ah… O-Okay…”

 

**“I’m not jealous.”**

 

“Kamukura-kun! It’s so rare you visit!”

“…Where is she?”

“Eh? Eh?” Komaeda scrambled after him as Kamukura brushed swiftly past him. Stumbling, Komaeda latched onto Kamukura’s arm to catch himself. “Aha,  _she’s_  not here… Don’t tell me you wanted to see  _her_?”

He couldn’t hide the distaste and displeasure but shook it off all the same.

“Ah, I’m not jealous or anything, of course! But here I thought you showed up because you were bored and wanted to see me,” Komaeda pouted. “Aha, you really are the world’s disappointment, Kamukura-kun. You could’ve at least said hello.”

“I was not referring to Enoshima Junko.”

Komaeda smiled up at him blankly.

“…I heard you screaming at a certain despair nurse. And now she is not here.” Kamukura looked as flippant as ever, in spite of all that. “Do you know where she went?”

“…I can hazard a guess. As can you.” Komaeda’s smile brightened. “But that’d be too boring, huh? Kamukura-kun… You’re…really bad about showing your concern about a person.”

He squeezed Kamukura’s arm all the same.

“Ahaha… That said…” Komaeda nuzzled his shoulder. “It’s flattering, even if my fondness for you is fairly cold. I don’t understand you at all. You’re such a curious thing, Kamukura-kun.”

“…Your ankle healed improperly.” Kamukura’s stare was boring. “I will have to fix it for you.”

“Aha! Go ahead! I’m already so emotional I could  _scream_ , Kamukura-kun!”

 

**“If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!”**

 

“Well,” Komaeda said, standing up and dusting himself off. “I’ll be going, then. Any parting words?”

“You are leaving earlier than you planned,” he replied simply, staring up at him with a boring gaze.

“Ah, because… I can’t really stand your presence any longer, see,” Komaeda laughed. “So I don’t want to spend more time around you than I have to.”

“Ah, is that so.”

Komaeda nodded.

“Well,” Kamukura said. “I predict that, unfortunately, we will likely cross paths in Towa City.”

Komaeda perked up.

“Those children running it… They have something I require.”

“If you go anywhere near them,” Komaeda said almost in a rushed breath. “You’ll have to deal with me… Most likely. Because… I’m going to observe them as closely as I can manage. Towa Monaka is… I want to see what she’s capable of.”

“Boring,” Kamukura waved his hand dismissively. “I will not linger. So do as you wish. You will only disappoint yourself. Towa Monaka is not Enoshima Junko.”

Komaeda frowned at him.

“…Obviously not,” he said, sighing and turning away. “But I’m curious all the same. Besides, I want to see what kind of children can kill their parents by their own hands rather than meager luck.”

Kamukura said nothing, and only continued to stare at Komaeda’s back as he headed out.

“Farewell, Kamukura-kun.” Komaeda gave him one last wink. “You weren’t a boring partner for a time, at least.”

“…Farewell.”

 

**“I can’t do this.”/“I really need you.”**

 

“Naegi-kun said…that once we went in, ideally, we’ll be set back to the time before we fell into despair. That is…” Komaeda hesitated and then swallowed. “That means you’re going to be a completely different person, Kamukura-kun.”

“It does,” Kamukura replied like it was nothing. Ha. Haha.

_Nothing at all…_

“Nagito, you are shaking. Excitement, correct? Ah, with a hint of trepidation, it seems.”

“You read me so well,” Komaeda murmured as he shook his head. “You know, Kamukura-kun… I’m really worried… I’m such a worthless person, right? I really need you to protect me. Right, right?”

“You are wrong,” Kamukura sighed. “How boring. You do not even say those words as if you believe them.”

“H-Hey now,” Komaeda laughed mirthlessly, worrying his lip with his teeth. Shaky fingers dug into Kamukura’s arm. “I wasn’t wrong about being worthless. I definitely believe that. I just… I can’t do this. Smiling without worries when Kamukura-kun is going to be erased like he never existed. I can’t even be excited for the good luck that’ll come from it because I won’t even remember what I lost in the first place. That’s…”

_So despairing._

“…Aha, just kidding… It’s not like I like you or anything, Kamukura-kun… But I want to at least  _miss_  your company…”

Kamukura looked down at him, he shivered, feeling the temperature in the already cold, lonely room drop even more, and it even felt lonelier.

“Boring,” Kamukura said.

Komaeda’s shoulders slumped and his head hung.

“…You’re still such a jerk.”

 


	16. KamuKomaHina - Some Wintry Moments, Some Warm Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 dialogue prompts and 2 winter writing prompts. Post-SDR2 for the first ficlet, but the rest are in an AU where Hinata and Kamukura are separate. Last one's a little suggestive but still not mature, I think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, finally more KamuKomaHina!!! I don't have much but I hope you all enjoy all the same. ;;

**“I don’t want you.”**

 

“Get out.”

“Komaeda–”

“Get _OUT_!!!”

“Komae–”

“ _GET OUT_! I don’t..! I don’t want you here!  _Either_  of you! Just…  ** _GET OUT!!!_** ”

There was not much to do but leave, shutting the door. Hinata was still shaking, but he felt Izuru’s presence, infuriatingly steady as always even when it felt like the rest of his head– _his head, was it even **his**  head anymore_–spinning. He swallowed, straightening himself and pinching the bridge of his nose.

_That could’ve gone better._

**_It could have also gone much worse._ **

Hinata shook his head in disgust.

**_Hinata Hajime, I know you had low hopes in confronting Komaeda Nagito from the start. You cannot fool me when I know your thoughts._ **

Hinata’s fist slammed against the wall.

**_Now is not the time to get uselessly angry._ **

“Shut up,” he growled.

**_You should be focused on continuing to ease Komaeda Nagito in._ **

“Shut  _up_ …”

**_For Komaeda Nagito’s sake, you should…_ **

“Just  _SHUT UP_!! Leave me  ** _ALONE_**!!!”

**_…Very well then._ **

With that, Izuru’s presence went quiet and dormant. Hinata focused on regulating his breathing, and then, turned back to Komaeda’s door. Komaeda likely heard all that. He wondered what the other thought.

_Komaeda…_

Izuru did stir at that, for just a moment, and Hinata flinched, but the silent dormance returned quickly enough. If not for their intimate connection, he never would have noticed at all.

And that just soured his mood further.

 

**“I missed something didn’t I?”**

 

“Ah but, even though Hinata-kun may be unreliable and easily overwhelmed, everyone is just so fond of him!” Komaeda’s laughing, flushed from perhaps more than just the alcohol. “I’m envious…but not surprised at all. In spite of Hinata-kun’s flaws, Hinata-kun is a wonderful person…”

“Y-You really don’t have to say that so easily…” Hinata muttered, pushing his cup away, flushed in embarrassment and nothing else. Though, the pensive look on Kamukura’s face made him wilt a little more against his seat. “Sheesh, Komaeda, seriously…”

_And in front of your boyfriend, too…_

“It’s not as though he said anything disagreeable,” Kamukura said suddenly, as though reading his mind. Hinata flinched, feeling more unsettled than comforted.

“You really think so…?”

Both of them were looking at him now. He blinked twice under their stares, looking between the two of them in growing confusion.

_Uh… Did I miss something? I missed something, didn’t I?_

Then, Komaeda and Kamukura traded a look and Kamukura sighed as Komaeda let out a breathy, strained laugh.

“Hinata-kun, we both like you very much… You do  _know_  that, don’t you?”

“…” Hinata blinked again. “ _What_?”

 

**fireplace**

 

It was getting really cold, so it was no surprise his lovers were rather fussy. Hinata was sensitive to the cold, as was Komaeda even if he was less concerned about it. Thus, it was hardly a surprise when he returns that the two of them are cuddling close enough to meld while sharing a thick quilt.

It just was what it was.

“I brought cider,” he said blankly, offering the two mugs. Hinata perked up, and reached for Komaeda’s first to hand it over.

“T-Thanks, Izuru…”

“You’re an angel, Izuru-kun,” Komaeda giggled as he was given his cider. He blew at it gently, and Hinata took his own.

He himself frowned at them both.

“…Neither of you made room for me. I see how it is.”

They flinched.

“Hajime-kun, scoot, scoot!”

“O-Oi, don’t push, Nagito! You’ll make me spill my drink!”

They parted enough for him to squeeze his way in between, although they had to hold their drinks out to keep his hair from getting stuck in the mugs.

“…Warm,” he said, blankly looking at the flickering fireplace. Komaeda giggled, and Hinata snorted.

“You’re so spoiled, Izuru.”

“Tsun.”

“I-I’m not tsun!”

“Tsun!” Komaeda exclaimed, cooing.

Hinata’s brightening blush looked all the more glowing against the light of the fireplace.

 

**a bit too much eggnog**

 

“O-Oi, remember you two…! Don’t…drink too much…! Moderation, moderation!”

“Yes, Hajime.”

“Ehehe…” Komaeda drapes himself over their laps with a laugh. “Whoops! Too late, Hinata-kun, I’m already tipsy!”

“Oi, Komaeda,” he grits out, blush darkening as Komaeda wiggled and squirmed.

“…or maybe that’s just love, maybe I’m drunk on love,” Komaeda murmured, playing with the zipper of his pants. Hinata froze up, looking to Kamukura for aid.

Kamukura, however, seemed fixated on sipping his egg nog as he traced the creases in the back of Komaeda’s own jeans.

“I _zu_ ru!” Hinata hissed. “Stop that!”

“…Oh would you rather…?” He patted Komaeda’s rump, making him squeal, more so when Izuru squeezed, making Hinata squeal too.

“K-Kamukura-kun…!”

“Izuru, oh my  _god_!”

“Ah…” Kamukura pulled his hand away, sipping more at his mug. “Seems I got a little overzealous…perhaps I had too much as well…”

Hinata slumped with a groan.

“…what the fuck is wrong with both of you…? Hey, Komaeda, you better not be getting any…” Komaeda groaned softly, eyelashes fluttering in spite of what happened earlier. Hinata blinked once, twice, as Komaeda began to drowse. “O… Oi…”

Kamukura, too, stared as Komaeda let out a snore.

“…Neither of us are sober enough to carry him,” Hinata said, to which Kamukura nodded. “We can’t even move him.”

Another nod. Komaeda nuzzled his crotch.

“…Fantastic…”


	17. KomaHina - A Couple Flowers, A Few Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two flowers; four kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of these are canon-compliant, others are total AU. Interesting that a Chapter 1 ficlet and Chapter 5 ficlet ended up so close together, haha.

 

__**Sweet pea - delicate pleasures**

 

He had flinched at the impact of the coconut, and Hinata had shifted at that, leaving Komaeda with a throbbing head and Hinata’s head resting upon his shoulder.

Komaeda wanted to laugh but he didn’t want to stir Hinata’s resting, so he just rubbed at his head with a twitching, pained little smile and tears stinging his eyes. Hinata’s breathing was soft, steady, and gentle.

Hinata had been running around like a dog a lot, lately. Because if it wasn’t one thing, it was another. Training with Owari and Nidai, having to carry around Saionji, being dragged around by Souda, being chased by Mioda… So on and so forth. Hinata really was quite the popular fellow.

Which is why in moments where Hinata wanted to relax and do nothing, Komaeda really was so  _honored_  to be able to bask in his presence! Hinata had said he was calming in a way that the others weren’t and, while Komaeda would never dare question the words of the talented, he really didn’t understand. But he wouldn’t dare complain.

_Aah, ah, be still my heart,_ Komaeda thought fervently.  _I want to relax with Hinata-kun, too. Calm down, calm down!_

Hinata sighed in his sleep, sending his worthless heart aflutter.

“…Nagito,” he murmured, almost inaudibly. Immediately, he froze, and stilled. Hinata sighed again. The air then, was so delicate that Komaeda didn’t even want to breathe, lest he disturb it.

And yet, he did swallow, face warming and reddening.

“…You’re too much, Hinata-kun…”

 

**Lily - majesty**

 

“It’s, uh, really overwhelming, isn’t it?”

The music was still playing, people still chattering and fluttering across the tiles. The flurry of colors, lights, and covered up faces really was…overwhelming. He’s actually surprised that only he and this other guy had stepped out onto the balcony to get away from it all.

This other guy…was a real looker, to boot, donning all white with an enchanting silver mask. Under the moon and stars, he looked all the more ethereal, especially with those tied back locks of snow white.

“It’s not a surprise,” the other said with a light laugh and a smile. “It’s a momentous occasion for the royal family, after all.”

_I don’t know if I’d go that far._  Hinata thought, scratching at his cheek.  _It’s just a yearly tradition and a chance to network, really. That’s all I’m here to do, after all._

“Still, it’s amazing, isn’t it?” the other asked, and there seemed to be a flicker of something bright in those gray-green eyes. “There’s such vibrancy, such majesty… I really am lucky to experience this moment.”

“Ah… Huh.” Hinata blinked dumbly and nodded. “Are you a merchant, too?”

“Oh, no,” he laughed. “I’m just a worthless passerby.”

_You’re pretty for a passerby._

“Hinata Hajime,” he said, sticking his hand out. “I sell really great paste and flour if you’re into that.”

The laugh he received then was utterly breathtaking.

“Komaeda Nagito,” the other returned, squeezing his hand back. “Charmed, and I’ll keep that in mind, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata couldn’t help but notice just how frail this gloved hand was, and yet he also couldn’t help but grip it tight.

 

**A Drunken Kiss**

 

Already he’s feeling a bit of a buzz, and already he’s ready to fall asleep because of it. If not for Hinata’s arm around his shoulders, Hinata’s loud laughter, the table being uncomfortable just to look at... He’d probably take a nap then and there. But instead, he just yawns, getting Hinata’s attention.

Turning from Souda, Hinata flashed him a bright, stunning smile. Before he could even fully register it, Hinata was kissing his cheek, ear, and along his jaw.

“You’re so cute, Nagito,” he purrs, and presses his lips to Komaeda’s slightly parted mouth.

“N…Nngh…” Komaeda groaned, but returned the kiss all the same. “Haaji _me_ …”

“Aw, jeez!” Souda exclaims, slamming his hand on the table and making the table rattle. “Get a room!”

Hinata turned back and stuck his tongue out at him. Komaeda licked his cheek. Like a puppy.

**_Cute._ **

Hinata felt his drunken blush darken, and he snapped.

And Souda screamed.

 

**A Sorry Kiss**

 

“I’m glad you’re still willing to talk to me,” Komaeda’s laugh is almost pitiful, his smile painfully small and self-deprecating. “Everyone else hates me and I’m sure you do, too, Hinata-kun, so I’m…grateful beyond words.”

“Shut up.” Hinata keeps his voice low, tries to keep himself from snapping. “You’re just too dangerous to least alone. I’m… I’m here because I’m scared of you not because I feel sorry for you.”

“Ah, of course,” Komaeda agrees softly with a nod. Against the vibrant sunlight, that fairness of his skin and brightness of his smile looks all the more…stunning. Hinata swallows and forced that thought back with bitterness. Komaeda, of course, just goes on. “But that’s still admirable! Overcoming your fear like this! I’m just sorry it has to be me… I only want what’s best for everyone, but if being feared helps you get stronger, then I suppose…”

“Shut  _up_.”

Komaeda’s mouth closes. But his smile just widens. His lips are pale, but…pink. Swollen? Had he been biting them…?

“Hinata-kun…?”

Hinata flinched back, realizing he’s gotten way too close. They’re still way too close. Komaeda’s own eyes are wide, his lips parted in surprise, and then… Komaeda’s lips brush against his once. Twice.

“That’s what you wanted, right? Hinata-kun?”

He looked so apologetic. And yet, his smile just widens.

“If it’s you,” Komaeda says. “I don’t mind at all. It’s one way to make up for my incompetence, right? Hinata-kun?”

_Why did it have to be you?_

 

**Can’t Let Go Yet Kiss**

 

“So shouldn’t we get going?”

Hinata only glared, teeth gritting. Komaeda blinked up at him a few times, almost innocently and tilted his head.

“I mean, I could just go over there and meet up with you later,” he said. “Buuuut that’s really going out of my way, you know. I’d rather everyone be there so they can all get the message.”

His smile widened as he stepped closer.

“Just because everyone else excluded you doesn’t mean you aren’t still part of the group, Hinata-kun.” He patted Hinata’s cheek. “After all, you’ve been quite involved up until this point. It’d be a shame to cut you out even if you are just a mere reserve.”

Hinata smacked his hand away with a scowl.

“Don’t fuck with me. What the hell are you planning? Did you just come here to be a jackass? You already saw through their plan. So what…?”

“I just wanted to see you,” Komaeda sighed. “I don’t know why either. Sentimentality, perhaps? We were quite close. I liked you quite a bit. So much so that I gave you my body.”

Hinata flinched, and he flustered. A pang went through him, and his glare was much more faltering than before.

_…where did it go so wrong?_

“You know,” he said softly. “I really liked you, Komaeda.”

“Ehe, and I liked you, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda said so easily. “I already told you that. You’re so slow. As expected of a reserve. So are we going together or not…? C’mon, it’ll be like old times. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

Hinata slumped.

“…Not really…”

Komaeda’s smile fell a bit, and then he stepped forward.

“It’ll be all over soon, Hinata-kun,” he said, leaning in. “You don’t need to worry. Everything…”

His lips tenderly brushed against Hinata’s own.

“…will be over soon…”

Once. Twice. Weak as he was, Hinata pulled him in closer.

 

**Post Break Up Kiss**

 

“Hinata-kun!”

Komaeda waved him over cheerfully as ever.

“Hey, Komaeda, you’re looking…” Hinata swallowed as he came closer. “Better. Healthier. That’s…great.”

“Mmhm! Those doctors overseas really are something else!” Komaeda beckoned him closer. He hopelessly obeyed and the two of them walked together. “Ah, I met Matsuda-kun over there. Remember him?”

“Matsuda… Yeah,” Hinata nodded. “Is he still a jackass?”

“Ehehe, yeah,” Komaeda said. “But he’s really cute. I’d court him if he was interested in relationships. But he’s shot down every attempt I made. Ahaha… I really have the worst luck with the prickly brunets I like… But at least we’re still friends, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata flinched at that, but he nodded along.

“Yeah…”

“You’ve gotten more handsome, though,” Komaeda said. “So how’s your girlfriend? Or…boyfriend? I can’t remember which it was. You just said you started seeing someone.”

“That…” Hinata shrugged. “Didn’t work out.”

“Oh,” Komaeda flustered a bit. “Ahaha… Oops. Sorry.”

“It’s alright. It’s not like it’s your fault or anything.”

“…I suppose…”

For whatever reason, Komaeda sounded wistful. Thoughtful. Hinata glanced at him, swallowing and then…

“Hinata-kun.”

Komaeda tugged on his tie, tugged him down so that he could kiss his cheek.

Hinata stilled, heart skipping a beat.

“U…Uh… Komaeda…?”

“You really have,” Komaeda said, softly against his cheek and pulling away with dark, unreadable eyes. “Gotten more handsome, Hinata Hajime.”

And then, like it was nothing, Komaeda gave his usual smile and let go.

“Why don’t you show me around town, Hinata-kun?” he asked cheerfully like nothing happened. “I’d really like to see what I missed while I was gone.”

“…Sure.” Hinata nodded and resented him a little more. “Sure thing.”


	18. KamuKoma - Two Cold Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the rain and in the hallway. Albeit cold for different reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These fics are pretty different but I'm pairing them together because... Yes. I gueeeess warning for verbal abuse in the second one.

**Solace**

 

There was a rhythm to the rain. One his footsteps seemed to beat in tune with, even the ones that landed in puddles splashing water and more drops against the pavement. It was its own melody—an elegance that someone like him shouldn’t be able to stir. The thought made him ridiculously giddy. Ridiculous to the point he was almost disappointed that he spotted the shelter he was so desperate for.

Another figure stood underneath, standing straight and grand. Even with blurring vision and a watery gaze, he couldn’t help but perk up and make a cheerful, lucky guess.

“Kamukura-kun?”

Kamukura glanced his direction— _did he? That might have been an impertinent assumption_ —and his voice was low. “Komaeda-kun.”

“I didn’t expect to see you,” Komaeda babbled breathlessly, finally shaking as he found himself out of the downpour. Rain was still dripping down his chin, teeth were chattering a bit, but he flashed a bright smile. “What happened? This really is a surprising encounter!”

“I sensed the storm. And unfortunately my umbrella broke beforehand.” If not for the wording choice, he would have seemed really indifferent about that tidbit. Anyone would have suspected such. Kamukura really was too cold for his own good. That affected him even when the rain already had him chilled to the bone. “I assume you just got unlucky, Komaeda-kun.”

“Ehehe. You got me.” Komaeda shrugged, beaming even as he shivered. “But maybe meeting Kamukura-kun like this was good luck?”

Kamukura did look his way this time for sure—he wouldn’t have imagined those flashing red eyes meeting his own, making him shake harder. With cool, practiced strides, the other walked up to him and before Komaeda could properly back away, delicate fingers traced from the curve of his cheek to the flushed purse of his lips. Those fingers drew back swiftly, and Komaeda only blinked a few times before curling in on himself, wrapping his arms around himself tight, and shuddering.

“You consider meeting me good luck when you nearly had to freeze to death to do so?” Kamukura asks, rather sardonically. Very coldly. Komaeda giggled, verging on hysterical.

“W-Well! For what it’s worth… As dangerous as this was for me… Kamukura-kun does make me feel safe… So being with Kamukura-kun in this kind of state is good luck. To me, at least.” He wheezes between his caught breaths, almost choking on air but quickly continuing, hastily adding, “O-Of course! For Kamukura-kun, it could just be bad luck! T-That… That’s not too much of a surprise… Heh… Heheh… Sorry, Kamukura-kun.”

Kamukura responds so easily. “It is of no concern, Komaeda-kun.”

“You mean it?!” He snapped back up, watery eyes now sparkling. “Kamukura-kun is so kind! Keep that up and I might just love you even more! Isn’t that _terr_ ible?

He went back to giggling. Still shaking like a leaf. Kamukura watched this display blankly before, without another word, reaching out and pulling the other into his arms. Stroking Komaeda’s head through his damp hood to help settle that quivering, he simply sighed and tightened his arm around that thin waist when he felt Komaeda’s thin, bone-white hands clench in his coat.

“Kamukura-kun…” A soft murmur against his heart, and Komaeda let one last, empty giggle escape his lips. “You’re a little scary, too.”

 

**Anomaly**

 

“It’s the abomination, Kamukura-kun!!”

Kamukura barely casts him a second glance, but Komaeda laughs all the same as he brushes right past him. “Oh, should I use a different word then? How about atrocity? Abnormality? Aberration? An anomaly that the world should have wiped out in a flash—”

With a skip in his step as he followed after, chirping word after word, Komaeda hadn’t even noticed Kamukura stopped walking. Not until he bumped into the other’s back, earning a halt in breath. Komaeda stepped back, blinking confusedly at Kamukura’s unmoved figure. His gaze lowered, cheeks puffing with annoyance as he thought about the unfair few centimeters Kamukura had over him.

Of course, there were leagues of difference between their physical strength. But he’d die laughing if Kamukura ever attacked him.

“Oh no,” he feigns upset. “The automaton has stopped moving! Don’t tell me that it broke! Oh, I knew Hope’s Peak had wasted so much money and resources already but this is just embarrassing! My heart truly goes out to Headmaster Kirigiri—if only he let the average stay average!”

Kamukura still doesn’t react. Komaeda pushes him and he doesn’t even budge.

“Ahh well,” he sighs, laughing. “This will teach them not to mess with the natural order of things. But I  _truly_  feel sorry for that poor schmuck who thought he could be anything more than an absolute nobody—at least he would have still been human—he might have even been charming in a way, I think!”

Komaeda maneuvers around him to take in his expression. He tuts when he sees that with the long dark strands obscuring his features, Kamukura couldn’t be read at all. Boring. How boring!

“But it’s not hopeless. Maybe they can reverse it and you can go about to your mediocre meaningless life and we can laugh and laugh about how silly you were for thinking you could break away from who you are.” Komaeda shrugged. “I might even decide I like you or want to be your friend—after all, someone like you… I do feel we’re similar. And I mess up a lot too! I mean, not to the astronomically astounding levels you have with this disgraceful act—but I can forgive that! I won’t even make you get to your knees for my forgiveness! See, even someone like me can show a bit of mercy…”

“Are you quite done?” Kamukura asked, both dully and sharply. “You’re boring me.”

“Or you can be completely full of yourself and keep on pretending. Okay.” Komaeda’s smile twitched, hands dropping to shuffle back into his pockets. “Kamukura-kun, you really do have a talent for disappointing me. At this rate, I’m not going to want anything to do with you even if you undo all…this. Whatever this is.”

“You know that’s wrong.” Something changed. Kamukura’s next words were much more deliberate. “If you didn’t find me endlessly interesting you wouldn’t follow me around as much as you do. You wouldn’t talk so much either—I see how you are around the _average_ SHSL, Komaeda-kun.”

Compliantly quiet. Eager to please. Komaeda knew that and didn’t need Kamukura pointing so annoyingly obvious out in such an obnoxious manner.

“The researchers did a couple of impressive things.” He admits, however bitingly before sneering. “But, Kamukura-kun, you complain about me talking too much and don’t even bother countering what I say about you. You can claim you don’t want to put the effort into it—but  _I think_  you know I’m right in at least some regards.”

“You are free to believe how you choose, Komaeda-kun.”

“It’s not what I believe—it’s the absolute  _truth_.” Komaeda jabbed his finger into his chest, scathing. “The ordinary cannot become extraordinary any more than penguins can learn to fly. You might be more perceptive—you might even be able to break my neck but the thing is, Kamukura-kun… You’re hardly superhuman talent personified. You’re hardly a person at all. So much of you is  _artificial_.”

“It is. You’re right.” That was hardly satisfying to hear though. Kamukura must have known that. Even if it showed clear as day on his face. “That doesn’t bother me. People are boring creatures, both talented and untalented.”

Komaeda, clearly ruffled, backed off with a huff. “What a despairingly empty life you live. All those resources—all that  _talent_ —and your existence is but a waste of time and space.” With a sigh, he turned away, shoulders slumping. “It’s really sad. How sad.”

“If it’s any condolence,” Kamukura begins quietly. “I do hold a degree of interest in how long you intend on keeping your side of the charade up.”

There. He flinched. Tossing a glare over his shoulder, Komaeda swiftly walked away without dignifying that comment with an answer. He expected no differently.

All the same, his fists clenched tightly and if looks could twist the thin frame of the boy in front of him—he wonders if he’d be able to tell the difference, considering how twisted Komaeda Nagito already was.


	19. KamuKoma - A Few More Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some taken from a kisses fic meme and a couple that aren't. Mostly SFW. Only a spoonful of fluff. But as for the rest... ;D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last one's prompt was actually "fluff where kamukura punches out junko after she tries to touch ko" and I couldn't help but include it because it's great.

**“I didn’t intend to kiss you.”**

 

_It’s cold._ He thinks, and those lips part against his. It’s cold, but also soft. Tender, due to the bruising of Komaeda’s mouth.  _Ah, it’s also wet. Komaeda Nagito tastes of dust and dried blood._

When Komaeda pulls back, there’s still a strand of saliva connecting their lips. With a breathless laugh, Komaeda cuts through the strand to wipe off his mouth. It’s rough enough against the bruises that he winces, just a little.

“Are you satisfied?” Kamukura asks, voice lowered alongside his eyelashes. Komaeda stares at him, gaze flickering between his eyes, and he laughs again, quieter and harsher than before.

“I acted impulsively,” he said. “I didn’t mean–I didn’t intend to kiss you…like this.”

Komaeda made no move to get off his lap. If anything, his legs tightened a little more around his hips.

“Boring,” Kamukura says.

“Yeah,” Komaeda agrees mirthlessly, rolling his eyes. “It really is.”

With a sigh, Komaeda wraps his arms around his neck, burying his face wordlessly into Kamukura’s shoulder.

_Boring,_  he thinks, but he still picks up on the scent of Komaeda’s hair. Dust. Dried blood. But, also, a vague hint of crushed flowers. Likely from  _her_.

He stiffened, even if he wasn’t surprised. Arms slowly circling around Komaeda’s frail, small waist at first, but then Kamukura held him close and tight as he glared at nothing in particular.

“You can stay here for as long as you like,” he said, lowly and quietly. There still wasn’t any detectable emotion in his voice, but Komaeda smiled against him all the same. And Kamukura could  _feel_  that much.

“Thank you.”

 

**In The Moment Kiss**

 

“Of course someone like you was never meant to amount to anything anyway,” Komaeda laughs, quite cruelly. “You were born nothing. You can’t become something. That’s just the natural order of things. Honestly, they made you a genius in many regards but at your core, you’re such a stupid, spoiled–”

“Silence.”

Komaeda’s mouth shuts obediently, a shiver going up his spine. He gave a soft, innocent smile with hard, challenging eyes. Kamukura’s own gaze narrowed.

And then, on a most curious impulse, he leaned in and pulled Komaeda into a deep kiss.

Komaeda flinched, froze, and then he trembled helplessly before kissing him back. He whined as he was held closer and tighter, small little pants and gasps escaping between their lips, rubbing against one another and moving together.

“K… Kamu…kura…! K-Kun…!” 

Komaeda’s head was lolling as he pulled back, head in a visible whirl, eyes swirling with drool trickling down his chin.

“Kamukura-kun…” He murmured, blinking up at him. “You…are something else. Something…really and truly…wretched.”

Kamukura wiped the drool away from both their mouths.

“I simply am what I am, Komaeda Nagito.”

 

**Early Morning Kiss**

 

It’s not very often he wakes up when Izuru is still sleeping. And it’s such a rare treat when he does, it really makes the oven exploding last night such good luck.

_Such, such good luck._

“Izuru-kun,” he murmured, soft and adoring, grazing his lips oh so slightly against Izuru’s. He shivers at the contact all the same. Impulse strikes, and he yanks himself away. “Mmm…”

_I really am so lucky…_

Humming, Nagito slipped out of bed and stretched, feeling overall content and hopeful.

_The oven should be fixed. So I should try baking once again for sure._

He definitely had a good feeling about this.

Izuru woke to the sound of the fire alarm going off and the smell of smoke not forty minutes later.

“I-Izuru-kun…!”

Nagito was coughing, eyes watering as he waved a towel furiously at the offending oven that he would have to fix again.

“I-Izuru-kun, uuu…”

Izuru blinked once, and sighed.

“You are a handful even in the mornings, Nagito.”

…In the very least. Such things were what made Nagito interesting.

 

**Post Break Up Kiss**

 

“So you have everything, right?”

“Of course.”

“It’s still really impressive,” Komaeda said. “Internships are a lot of work regardless of who they’re for. But, I’m glad. I broke up with you before you could go far, far away. What a lucky call I made.”

“It is fortunate,” he agreed. “Long-distance relationships are difficult to maintain and you are quite needy.”

Komaeda flinched at that.

“Hey… That’s a bit mean…”

“Apologies. I meant nothing untoward.”

_I know that…_  Komaeda’s smile still faded.  _You never do._

“Kamukura-kun, will you at least send me a postcard?” he asked. “I collect those, you know.”

“Very well.”

Again. Without missing a beat.

_You’re such a frustrating person Kamukura Izuru._

It perhaps was for the best they broke apart. Still, as Komaeda twirled around a lock of his wild, white hair, he couldn’t help but still feel a bit downcast that things hadn’t worked out.

_Ahaha, I’m pathetic. I’m really, really pathetic. I should just smile for Kamukura-kun and say…_

“…mmf…!”

The kiss was sudden and startling. Komaeda would’ve stumbled if not for Kamukura holding him steady. Kamukura’s fingers threaded through his hair, his fingertips skidded along his face and Komaeda’s eyelashes fluttered as those careful, tentative lips moved so delicately against his own. So much so, in fact, that his eyes stung when Kamukura finally pulled away.

“…Apologies,” Kamukura murmured, and he looked so glum that it was a wonder Komaeda never noticed before.

_…aha…_

“Kamukura-kun…”

The train’s whistle blared, and Kamukura pulled away. He glanced back, looking at him so sadly and longingly, and only waved as Komaeda stood stock still.

Kamukura stepped onto the train. And the doors closed.

“…you’re such an idiot,” Komaeda said, shoulders slumping as the train zoomed off.

 

**After Punching Out A Bitch Kiss**

 

“You really didn’t have to go so far… Not that I think she didn’t deserve it, but…!!”

“She was following us. You were uncomfortable and it was the most effective method of minimizing said discomfort.”

“But… To actually put your hands on her… Dirtying yourself with her blood is just…”

“There are scratches on your arm from her nails. She bit you.”

“Don’t remind me! And–I’m more worried about how she’s going to use this to vilify you… People already say…”

“I only struck hard enough to knock her out. She’ll have a headache afterwards but the damage will not be too lasting.”

“…You broke her nose.”

“She  _bit_  you.”

A thumb brushed against said bite mark on his neck, making him flinch, eyes wide but… Kamukura’s touch was invariably gentle, even if his gaze still seemed a little cold. Kamukura did pull away, for a moment, but that was just to dab alcohol on a wipe. Komaeda sighed in spite of the sting as the scratches on his arm were cleaned and promptly bandaged.

“She isn’t going to say anything,” Kamukura said, as though reading his thoughts. Or, perhaps just because he was that obvious. What else would it be? “But even if her behavior towards you worsens, I won’t tolerate it.”

“Haha…” Komaeda’s smile twitches as he winces. “She’s getting bored of me anyway… She might just focus on you from now on…”

“How boring and expectable of her.”

Komaeda laughs. It’s not completely sincere, but it is more relaxed and at ease. More preferable this way, he thinks as his gaze softens. But then he flickers his stare back at the bruise. Komaeda stills upon noticing.

Kamukura almost leans in, but instead he stops himself and steadily meets Komaeda’s uncertain, insecure, averted stare.

“Nagito… May I…?”

Komaeda swallowed and nodded quickly. “Ah, um, i-if you want to, I really can’t stop you…”

“If you don’t want to, I’ll stop,” Kamukura said firmly, eyes narrowed. Weakly, Komaeda just giggled.

“I want you to,” he answered, quietly. “I’ll even plead with you to, if you so desire, Ka _mu_ kura- _kun_.”

He didn’t have to. As soon as those words had been given shape, Kamukura’s warm lips pressed to his bruised neck. His mouth parts, and it’s–gentle. Not, not painful or anything like that.

He’s shivering, but Kamukura holds him steady with ease. Despite that, it would have been so  _easy_  to lose himself. So  _easy_  to just forget everything except this.

His admiration and reverence for Kamukura Izuru may run deeper than the very ocean’s depths, but with something like this, he couldn’t help but fall in love a bit deeper.

It didn’t hurt. It didn’t sting. It was so  _gentle_.

Komaeda sighs as Kamukura kisses the mark before pulling away. It’s darker, redder, and would likely be harder to cover up. But he didn’t mind that at all. Not at all.

“Hehe,” he giggles more as Kamukura wipes the saliva off his bruise. “People are going to think we’re lovers or something,”

“Are we not?” Kamukura asks, even though he knows the answer. Komaeda laughs even more, and throws his arms around Kamukura’s neck, clinging to him with a giddy, satisfied hum.

“Do you love me, Kamukura-kun?”

“I do.” He didn’t even hesitate.

“I love you too!” Komaeda joyfully exclaimed. “I love you so much! I’d die for you, Kamukura-kun! I really would! I’d die over and over if I could!”

Kamukura held him in return, stroking his hair, and tightening his embrace just a little at that last statement.

“…I’d never allow that. Not even once.”


	20. KomaHina - Certain Words and Prompts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7 ficlets. Some sdr2 verse, one kids AU, one HPA-verse, all SFW. Some angst, some fluff. Definitely a hodgepodge with this assortment, haha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first three ficlets are like, three years old. Oh my god how much did my writing style change. It's like looking into a time capsule. The rest are pretty old, too, I think. That last one I only barely remember.

**Ayurnamat - The philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that cannot be changed.**

 

It’s been so long someone wanted to know more about him, and even though he’s always been reserved, it occurs to him that, when Hinata-kun asks him about his past, he’s actually really, really happy. So much so that the events— _each and every tragedy_ —all seem to fall from his lips as easily as if his mouth had overflowed after gaping directly at a raining sky.

It had been so long that he had actually forgotten the ‘normal’ reaction to have in light of such things, one that he of course reads far too clearly on Hinata’s horrified and confused reaction. When Komaeda laughs it off, his classmate looks only more disturbed. And that…

…is a little disappointing, actually. Not surprising, yes, but still so disappointing.

He actually parrots that popular phrase his parents were also fond of, “it can’t be helped”, and it couldn’t. He’s actually fond of the saying as well, given how often he uses it, and it does fill him with a bit of warmth to still have that memory of his parents saying such to accompany it. It’s good advice and it’s the truth, but, of course, Hinata still has that unpleasant look on his face. So, Komaeda ends up cutting himself short and leaves him there. But the irritation fades quickly—it can’t be helped, after all, that Hinata wouldn’t understand. Even though he  _is_  a bit sad that he can’t dispel Hinata’s concerns over silly things that can’t be changed.

_Really, there’s no reason to look so torn up about it,_  he thinks.  _Nothing can be done about it, after all._

 

**Malapert – A clever way with words**

 

His worst moments are when he’s at his most comprehensible. And as much as Hinata would love to shut him down, write him off as a nonsensical lunatic, he’s always stuck listening to the other when he rants.

He shouldn’t because Komaeda is discussing the subject of murder, and not just murder but  _murdering your own peers_ and it disturbs Hinata to no end—especially since Komaeda can say such things and not look the slightest bit troubled by the unsettling implications that, perhaps, something good  _can_  come from something so heinous.

“After all, the stronger an obstacle,” he goes on, cheery without a care and what sense does  _that_  make—“Then the more powerful you become by overcoming it, correct?”

That obstacle being mere  _moral standards_. But Hinata’s tongue is heavy and he can only glare in disgust. Komaeda’s smile turns sad, and he waves his hands like it’d somehow just wave away the offense as he pleads, “Please don’t look at me like that. I know I’m a disgusting creature, Hinata-kun, but I hate to be looked at like I may slit your throat in a moment’s notice.”

“How… How can you say such things?” he has to swallow when he asks, but Komaeda bounced back, quick and to the point.

“Well, it’s because I know my worthlessness, of course! I’m not imprudent, Hinata-kun, so I…”

“Not…That.”

And it’s unfair Komaeda realizes so quickly, because his pathetic expression passes into that infuriatingly calm smile, his chin lifting, and his eyes bright. And the words come so  _easy_  to him. “Because I believe in all of you. I believe in your promise, your brightness, and I’m certain that nothing—not even this—can stop you from shining brightly. It’s like one of those stories, Hinata-kun! The one where a hero is thrown into an unkind, brutal world in a seemingly hopeless situation, but then the tables are turned and that hero perseveres and comes out on top of his foes! And yes, there may have been sad losses along the way but what mattered is that the hero just didn’t  _give up_ because he didn’t like the situation.”

Hinata scowled. Komaeda’s smile dropped for a bit but returned, his laugh a bit rueful. “Tell me, Hinata-kun, is your hope so weak that you’re just going to give up upon being put in this situation? Don’t you have anything to  _live_  for? Are you okay with just rotting away in a place like this, or, worse, lose your life to someone whose hope  _was_ stronger than yours? You’re such a kind person. I’d hate to lose you.”

That last sentence was too soft, too sincere for him to brush it off and Hinata just shut his eyes, shaking his head. But the words still ate at him because Komaeda was right in too many respects. It was why he was able to twist Hanamura so easily, for not just the convenient excuse of ‘prevention’ but also because the chef had a  _mother_  to get home to. Komaeda sighs, and Hinata wishes he could hate him but more, he wishes…

“You really are capable of so much more if you just allowed yourself, Hinata-kun…”

He wished he wouldn’t be so close to falling for those words so easily.

 

**Duende - Unusual power to attract or charm.**

 

He’s not sure what it is exactly, but the best he can come up with is that it has to do with his aura.

It’s a comforting one—one that coaxes your problems out, the weights off your shoulders, and makes you feel like if you could really just  _find_  relief from all the strains of the past and present—it somehow seems so possible when it’s with _this_  person.

Even though Hajime Hinata is an average person in many respects, with average responses a lot of time that bug him because _that’s just not fitting of someone with a talent however unknown that talent may be_ , Komaeda would never deny there is an inexplicable, almost encompassing charm to him that a mite like himself can’t help but swoon over.

He may not be entirely sure if it’s his talent, but it’s more than enough to elevate his otherwise worryingly normal classmate into something that is, without a doubt,  _special_.

 

**Fireflies**

 

He supposed it was already getting late, and with the boats all adrift, with Komaeda still knelt and praying for safe passage, he wondered how long this moment would last. The boats they made had all already disappeared with the rest, but Komaeda continued to pray.

He still noticed how the yukata hung off Komaeda’s skinny arms, the wayward curls of white that escaped the tight ponytail Komaeda had pulled his hair back into. With the moons and stars hanging and twinkling overhead, the sight of Komaeda was just…

Something flickered in Komaeda’s hair. Hinata perked up and, then he snorted quietly. He drifted forward, leaning in to comb through those strands. Komaeda perked up, a little, and Hinata brushed away a small bug from the tresses. Said bug gave off a soft glow.

“A firefly,” he said simply, pulling back and wiping his clammy hands off his jeans. “Looks like they’re starting to come out.”

“That’s a good thing,” Komaeda said quietly, and stood. “They can guide the boats. And they’re beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Hinata hummed, eyes flickering towards Komaeda, still staring almost wistfully at the river as well as some of the boats drifting by. “Beautiful.”

There were more flickers, more soft glows and the sight as Komaeda lit up really was so _achingly_ beautiful.

 

**Slow Dancing**

 

“Aw jeez.” Hinata groaned after what had to be at least the fifth time he stepped on his partner’s foot. “I…” Flustered, he went to bury his face in the other’s shoulder with a stammer. “I-I’m so sorry, Komaeda. I’m really not talented enough for this.”

Komaeda giggles lightly against his ear, making him tremble for just a moment. “Guess we can mark dancing off that list then. But it’s okay. Let’s keep going anyway.”

“What’s the point?” he grumbled but he followed his lead anyway, stepping with him and trying valiantly to keep his mind off Komaeda’s hand fondly squeezing his waist. Off Komaeda’s hand so delicately wrapped around his own in spite of how disgustingly clammy it was. “If… If I didn’t know any better I’d say you enjoy seeing me like this.”

“Well,” Komaeda says, and suddenly he’s tugged close. Chests press together and wide-eyed hazels meet tenderly half-lidded grays. “That is part of it. I am enjoying myself in spite of Hinata-kun’s hopeless lack of talent. I wonder why?”

“You do  _know_ why.” Hinata breathed, flushed and biting his lip. “Quit acting like you don’t.”

“Hmm?” It’s hard to think when the other’s this close, enough that they’re just a tilt away from a kiss. Even then, Komaeda playfully bumps his forehead against his own when stepping forward as Hinata stepped back. “Whatever do you mean, Hinata-kun?”

“Asshole.” Another step forward. Another step back. Komaeda laughs as Hinata huffs. “You’re  _such_  an asshole.”

His legs felt like jello and yet Komaeda was as stable as ever. And yet he still followed his lead.

“I also think,” Hinata continues, taking a deep breath and listening to how Komaeda laughs and twirls him around. “I might just be crazy of something.”

He ends up losing his balance. Komaeda catches him, shaking for only a moment before steadying them both. He’s leaning hard on him too, chin atop a slim, bony shoulder.

This time, Komaeda’s voice against his ear is low and flat. “Not at all.”

 

**Snow**

 

It was almost like someone had encased the world in a thick white comforter, he thought, as he stepped through with his breath coming out in white puffs of air. The cold still stung a bit, even though his mom bundled him up so thoroughly, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit bitter about that. She had been tired and still insisted he enjoy himself in the snow since it was such an apparently ‘special’ sight.

He was more sensitive to her than he was to the cold, so out he went. That didn’t make it any less unpleasant, as admittedly pretty as the sight was, as strangely calming it was almost to walk through it if not for the cold.

It was like stepping through powder. Cold, frosty power that sparkled when hit by the light a certain way and was almost rather mesmerizing—

“ _Oof_ …!”

Except that thing he stepped on was way too solid to be compared to powder. And powder wasn’t supposed to make noise.

“H-Hajime- _kuun_ …”

Hajime looked down at where he stepped—wide, watery gray-green eyes blinked up at him, and then the other whined, “You’re too  _heavy_ —!”

“Nagito!!” he exclaimed, nearly scrambling to remove his foot from that small chest, panicking as Nagito wheezed, curling onto his side, distorting the imprint his little body left in the snow. “Are you alright?! Did I break one of your ribs?! I’ll scream for my mom if you need…!”

“I-I’m fine, really! Just startled, Hajime-kun!” Nagito laughed a bit as he usually did to try and show he was fine after getting hurt as he so often did. Knowing that, Hajime was still tense even as he quieted, waiting as the other kid went on. “I wasn’t expecting to see you out here. Hajime-kun normally stays in when it’s cold after all.”

“Why are you lying down like that anyway, Nagito?”

“I always lie down when there’s a layer of snow outside.” His smile was bright, face flushed and those watery gray-greens shimmering in a way that Hajime was instantly fixated. “See, it’s almost like an engraving, and not to mention it’s so soft that sometimes, I have difficulty staying awake and almost fall asleep…”

“Don’t fall asleep!” Hajime snapped out of it quickly, heated and frustrated. “Nagito, you’ll freeze to death if you do that!”

“You think so?” Nagito’s cheerfulness made the seamless shift from endearing to exasperating.

“ _Yes_ ,” he groaned, disbelieving. “How can you be so careless? What are your parents going to do if that happened—what am  _I_ supposed to do if something…?” There was a pang in his chest at the idea, making that frustration worse to the point he would have cried if it wasn’t so cold. “ _Ugh_.”

“I’m sorry, Hajime-kun!” Nagito does, to his credit, immediately push himself up, not even bothering to shake out the dusting of snow form his soft brown hair as he made the saddest face. “I didn’t mean to upset you!”

_Then why are you always carelessly saying upsetting things?_  He held his tongue but he just sighed, leaning down. And when Nagito looks at him like he’s expecting to be helped up, Hajime instead scoops up a handful of snow and shoves it into Nagito’s face.

“Snow,” he bit out, “should be  _played_  in not laid in.”

Nagito sneezes, sniffling loudly and as Hajime can’t help but grin playfully, he finds himself quickly tackled into the ground, the two breaking out into a mock-fight and tumble. Both of them then started yelling at each other, throwing and hitting one another with snow until. It was fun—surprisingly, it was more fun than Hajime expected he’d ever have in the cold.

At least until they overdid it and Hajime ended up having the carry the other back home.

“Hajime-kun,” Nagito’s breathing was harsh as Hajime hoisted the other up on his back. “I’m having difficulty keeping my eyes open again.”

“Please  _don’t_  close them.”

 

**Fighting / arguing**

 

“…You’re breathing quite heavily, Hinata-kun.”

He was. And his grip in the lapels of Komaeda’s uniform only tightened. All the same, Komaeda was smiling at him, smile serene but with narrowed, sharpened eyes. Hinata gritted his teeth.

“Are you going to hit me to shut me up? Because you can’t use words to argue back?” Komaeda sneered. “How disgusting. Out of all the reserves, you’re the worst.”

“Shut up!” he shouted. “I’m not!”

_I’m not! I deserve better! I’m **better than that** –!_

His arm jerks back, hand tightening into a fist.

“Are you going to hit me?”

Hinata froze, and shivered. Komaeda was unmoved and unimpressed.

“…Disgusting.”

Hinata shuddered, and then, yanked himself away.

“Urgh,” he groaned, turning away sharply. “You’re the one who’s just the absolute worst. Your talent isn’t even a _real_  talent.”

Komaeda rubbed his throat and huffed.

“You could at least tell me something I don’t already know.”


	21. KomaHina - Some Reserves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ficlets from Post-DR3, Main SDR2 Timeline, and HPA-verse. SFW. Starts comfort ends pretty hard on angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last ficlet (which is rather long) was written prior to zhen and because I was happily theorizing what their relationship would be.
> 
> Yeah.............................................
> 
> I included the first ficlet because...I really like it.

**“I really need you.”**

 

“…Hinata-kun…”

He hadn’t been moving much for a while now. 12 minutes, 48 seconds, 22 milliseconds, 37 microseconds to be precise. He’s still hunched over, fingers rubbing at his temples, mind rushing at approximately 7.8 kilometers per second. There are 155245 things to be aware of in this cabin alone.

The patterns in Nagito’s breathing, the flickering of Nagito’s gaze, the individual strands of his hair from the ones messily brushed away from his eyes to those tucked behind his ear. The number of dust specs in the air, the amount of light filtering through the blinds, the amount of UV rays, the folds and wrinkles in their clothes, their sheets, their bodies… Nagito’s breathing raises exactly .848 decibels, and then, Nagito speaks with the words he’s long since predicted.

“Do you need anything? Hinata-kun?”

Hinata’s breath hitches, and even though he predicted it, he latched onto the name.  _Hinata-kun._  The breathiness, the lull, the motions of Nagito’s lips, tongue, throat that gave that name sound from the delicate plucks of his vocal chords.

“More medicine…a shoulder rub…maybe some water… Hinata-kun?”

Nagito’s delicate fingertips tentatively press against his shoulder. The grays, greens, and hues in-between shift and shimmer from reflected moonlight within his irises. With every imperfection, every pore he is now intimately aware of, Nagito’s face really should have been hideous.

“Hinata-kun, are you listen…”

His fingers lock around Nagito’s wrist. Already he knows off the top of his head Nagito’s blood rate, blood cell count, and iron deficiency. He pulls Nagito in his lap, and knows very well everything Nagito has done, everything Nagito has eaten, and every place Nagito has been within the last 27 hours.

“…Hinata-kun…?” Nagito sighed. Exasperation, anxiety, and worry swirl around in just that exhale among a litany of various other emotions. Just a little embarrassment. Just a little. “I asked you a question.”

“I really need you,” he said, urging, squeezing, breathing in more of everything that was Komaeda Nagito and everything that touched Komaeda Nagito from the dust under his fingertips and caught to his hair to the remnants of sweat stuck to his skin and clothes. “Stay here. Let me…hyper-fixate on you until my brain settles down.”

“…that’s creepy…”

There’s a little bit more embarrassment, now.

“It grounds me, Nagito,” Hinata said and then he began to nibble at Nagito’s neck, making him shiver. Pores, skin cells, thrumming heat and blood underneath. Nagito has what can only be identified as  _Nagito’s_ taste. Nagito’s scent. Nagito, Nagito,  _Nagito_. “Just for a little while… Just a little…”

_I want to drown myself in you._

“…Okay…”

 

**“Do you want me to leave?”**

 

He couldn’t sleep. And he couldn’t bear to turn his lights off. If his lights remained on, then people wouldn’t think he was sleeping (which he wasn’t), and he’d be less likely as a murder victim.

_A murder…victim._

Hinata shivered and hid his face into his pillow before screaming.

And as exhausted as that made him, he still couldn’t sleep.

Which made him all the jumpier when there was a knock on his door.

…A would-be murderer? Or someone checking up on him?

Dazedly, Hinata’s gaze locked on one of the monochromatic figurines he found. It was hard and blunt. It wouldn’t kill someone, but…it would definitely hurt like hell and he could run and scream for help.

He hated these awful things, but… Whatever worked, worked.

Hinata snatched one up, hiding it behind his back as he went to the door. He hesitated before opening.

“H…He…”

“Hinata-kun!” Komaeda chirped at him, with such a bright smile that Hinata flinched at it, eyes hurting. A bright smile…with worried eyes. “Hinata-kun, it’s really late. And your lights are on. Are you okay? Can’t sleep?”

“I-I…” Hinata croaked, and tightened his grip on the figurine. But even with that, the idea of hitting Komaeda of all people made his stomach churn. “Who…can sleep at a time like this?”

“Aha, I guess that’s true… Some people would be too anxious…” Komaeda hummed softly, offering a sympathetic glance. “So Hinata-kun is…? No worries! Maybe your talent can help!”

“…Ha…haha…” Hinata’s shoulders slumped. “Maybe… Or maybe not… I don’t know…”

Komaeda giggled, but then his smile fell as his gaze flickered down.

“…Were you going to hit me, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata flinched, and recoiled, stepping back. He held the figurine in front of him. Komaeda’s eyes narrowed with distaste.

“I was wondering who was picking up those wretched things,” he said. “Ah, maybe… This is Hinata-kun’s talent. SHSL Figurine Collector?”

Hinata shivered.

“I-It’s not…!”

“Ah, okay, well… Then I’m confused… But you do you, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda waved his hands. “If you were a traitor or working with Monokuma, I would rather think you wouldn’t be this obvious about it.”

“I’m not…!”

“Ah…” Komaeda paused. “You look…really pale, Hinata-kun… And really, um…manic… Are you going to hit me? This…isn’t a good place to murder someone…”

“DON’T FUCK WITH ME!!!” Hinata screeched and threw the figurine at him, making Komaeda yelp when it struck his shoulder. “K-Komaeda, what the hell is…?!”

He stopped, staring as Komaeda whined and rubbed at where he was hit.

“Komaeda…”

“Do you want me to leave?” Komaeda asked, voice small. “I just wanted to check up on you because I was worried but… I think I…made things worse… Haha… Hahaha… I’m sorry… I’m…”

“Komaeda… I…”

“I’ll just, um, go…” With that, Komaeda waved with his unhurt arm. “Ahaha, have a nice night, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata could only reach for him uselessly as he turned and shut the door behind him, hurrying off into the night.

For a while, he just stood there. Hinata ran his fingers through his hair, shivering, and then…

“To  _hell_  with it.”

Leaving the figurine laying forlornly on the floor, Hinata slammed the door behind himself as he made a dash for Komaeda.

 

**“I’m not jealous.”**

 

“You’re looking frustrated again, Reserve-san!”

Oh great.

“Komaeda, now is not…” Another flickering of the screen, the screams of his character echoing throughout his ears and Hinata groaned, flicking off his game with a grumble. “Oh  _forget_  this.”

“Ah, did Nanami-san lend you that?” Komaeda chirped, peering over his shoulder. Hinata leaned away, but nodded.

“…She more just…shoved it into my face and demanded I play it… I guess so that she could gush about it to someone…” Hinata sighed. “But I’m garbage at it, so I don’t know what to do.”

“Hmm,” Komaeda hummed, and laughed. “You were only on the first boss, weren’t you? You’re definitely garbage if you’re having that much trouble early on!”

“Hey, it’s hard!”

“Ehehehe…! Poor Nanami-san… Not everyone can have a talent for games!” Komaeda giggled some more. “Are you jealous, Reserve-san?”

“I’m not  _jealous_! What the hell, Komaeda, just…!”

“Ah, but I couldn’t get past the first boss either without my game crashing…” Komaeda went on, making him perk up. “It’s really exceedingly difficult. Especially for people unfamiliar with the playing style. Is that what you’re struggling with, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata froze.

“I… How did you…?”

“You’re unused to the controls, huh… I could tell…” Komaeda nodded sagely. “Ah, I had trouble at first…so I made the same mistakes… I can give you tips, if you like.”

“Uh… That would be… Thanks.” Hinata sighed. “Nanami didn’t…even offer tips… She just said…to play…”

“Nanami-san’s talent isn’t teaching, haha,” Komaeda said. “Mine isn’t either, but I’ll do my best, Hinata-kun!”

“Thanks…”

“So be sure to appreciate my presence more and more, Reserve-san!”

“… _Thanks_.”

 

**“You make me feel like I’m not good enough!”**

 

It was the time of day he usually liked. Early enough that it was bright out—and also early enough that there was a pleasant breeze instead of a tough heat. There was a calmness to the atmosphere right before everyone got super busy with their day.

He liked that. He really needed it himself.

So here, resting under a tree’s shade and watching sunlight glimmer through its filtering leaves, Hinata could finally say he felt at least somewhat serene.

At least, until said serenity was shattered with the call of his name, “Hinata- _kun_!”

Hinata twitched, and shut his eyes tightly as though that’d shut that voice out.

“Hinata-kun,” it said again, and Hinata tensed as he heard footsteps padding closer towards him. “Hinata-kun. You’re either sleeping or ignoring me—which is either careless or rude.” A laugh and a foot nudged his hip, making him instantly jump. And yet, that voice was as casual as ever. “Good morning, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata cracked an eye open, and openly scowled at this new presence.

“Oh, dear,” Komaeda puts on an apologetic smile, lifting his hands up as though that’d be placating. “What’s with that face? Did my waking you put you in a bad mood?” And then that smile sharpens. “You should be thanking me for going out of my way for you.”

“I thought I told you to leave me alone, Komaeda,” Hinata hissed. “Whatever your intentions are, it’s best that you just don’t  _bother_ with me.”

“You were quite upset when you said that,” Komaeda said, humming and shrugging his shoulders. “I came here to apologize. I got quite heated the other day in spite of my better judgement and needlessly took that out on you.”

Hinata perked up, breath catching. “…Seriously? You’re sorry?”

“Of course!” Komaeda giggled, and the way sunlight hits his pale face almost looks angelic. “After all… It’s so unsightly of me to get so emotional because of a  _mere reserve course student_.”

_Of course._  Hinata slumped, sighing and wondering just why he hadn’t expected that. Shaking his head, he responded in a low tone, “Apology accepted. You can be on your way now, Komaeda.”

“Eh?” Komaeda tilted his head to the side like a curious kitten, with a frustratingly wide-eyed innocence. “Is Hinata-kun just in a mood where he wants to be alone?”

“…Yeah.” Hinata’s voice dropped into a mutter as he averted his gaze.  _It’s not_ **me** _, it’s—_

“Ah, well, that’s a bit disappointing,” Komaeda says, light and cheerfully as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “But, thing is—I have no intention of doing what the reserve course student tells me to do.”

“Ugh.” Hinata rolled his eyes with a grimace. “Fine. Waste your time pestering me. What _ever_.”

“Oh, you misunderstand.” He didn’t care—he didn’t. But Hinata did flinch when he felt Komaeda plop down beside him, brushing their arms together unintentionally and almost making him shudder. And yet, Komaeda goes on so easily, so calmly, “I quite like this spot, so I intend on using it.”

For what it was worth, Komaeda did scoot over a bit so there was more distance between them. But Hinata hardly felt at ease.

“And me being here already doesn’t bother you?” He almost sounded flabbergasted. “You aren’t going to make me leave?”

“Hinata-kun already has permission to be on the main campus so it’s not like you’re out of line by being here,” Komaeda says simply and matter-of-factly. “Besides, I’m the one who doesn’t care if I’m alone or not. If Hinata-kun wishes to leave, he can.”

_Is that your plan?_  Hinata wondered, eyeing him suspiciously. Then his expression hardens with resolve.  _Well, it’s not going to work. I was here **first**._

It sounds childish even in his head. But Komaeda brought that side out of him sometimes. It’s not like  _Komaeda_  couldn’t be childish either— _god_ , he could be  _so_  petulant sometimes. Hinata hadn’t even thought a person could be so frustrating in  _so_  many ways.

There were other things on top of that.

“I’m not leaving.” Hinata says it aloud so that the point gets across. Komaeda barely blinks differently.

“Okay. Whatever, Hinata-kun.”

“It doesn’t matter what you say,” Hinata goes on, harsher than he intended but not at all apologetic for it. “I’m staying right here. So you might as well just…”

_Just…_  He falters, sighing. And decides against it even as the finishing thought rings loudly in his head.  _Just leave me alone. I know, alright? I know. I just…_

He buries his face in his knees. Komaeda doesn’t say anything.

Komaeda doesn’t say anything for a long, long while. Long enough for someone to doze off. But it’s not like Hinata can rest in a situation like this.

Especially when Komaeda does speak, sending all his nerves on haywire even though all he says is—“The breeze really is pleasant… Everything almost looks peaceful. And the campus, as always, looks beautiful.”

_Yeah. Built by Elites._  Hinata slumped just a little more.  ** _For Elites._**

“You know, Nanami-san got onto me the other day,” Komaeda goes on blithely. Hinata tenses more at the mention of Nanami. “She says I’m too hard on you. I should be more understanding of your struggles. And that…”

_You make me feel like I’m not good enough._ Hinata swallows.  _When I already_ **know** _that._

“…Well,” Komaeda shrugs. “Nanami-san is endlessly kind and compassionate, even to those who hardly deserve it. But, I think she’s quite fond of Hinata-kun in particular. And I find that quite strange. I’d really like to know what it is about you that she’s so taken by.”

“It’s not like that!” Hinata snaps, snapping up while he’s at it. “She’s JUST nice to me! That’s it! There’s really nothing else to it!”

“Huh,” Komaeda says, meeting his stricken gaze indifferently. “Is that really what you think?”

Hinata almost let out a cold, mirthless laugh. “What else  _could_  it be?”

_Even with Nanami, it’s just…_

Dammit. Maybe he should just leave. It’s not like this is doing his pride any favors. Not when it’s Komaeda, of all people—

“Well. You’d be surprised.” Komaeda shrugs again. “Maizono-san, of the 78thclass is taken with Naegi-kun, who’s also in her class. He’s that year’s SHSL Lucky, in case you didn’t know. I except you to know who Maizono Sayaka is though, Hinata-kun.”

“The idol?” Hinata’s not surprised she made it to the school—but he is surprised about other things. “How do  _you_  know about that?”

“Enoshima-san quite likes gossiping…” Strangely, Komaeda’s tone sounded almost…disdainful for a moment. But it soon lightened as he went on. “I also asked Naegi-kun myself. He’s…too transparent to hide anything.”

“…Oh.” And what else could Hinata say?

“Mm.” Komaeda adjusted the way he was sitting, bending his knees and drawing them in close. “So. It’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility for Hinata-kun’s relationship to be something…more.”

“I…guess?” He gets the logic, at least, even flustered as he is. Then, with a shake of his head, Hinata says, “It really isn’t like that though. I… It’s complicated, Komaeda. And also none of your business.”

“Nanami-san is one of few people who’d call themselves my friend, even though I can hardly believe it myself,” Komaeda sniffed. “So I think it’s only natural to be concerned.”

“…I guess…” Hinata repeated, much more bitterly. “I guess you  _wouldn’t_  want an elite dating a reserve, would you? Because that’s unnatural or something.”

“ _Hah_? Now that’s just a silly statement.”

“Isn’t that how it is?”

“No, no.” Komaeda shakes his head. “Jeez, Hinata-kun, is that really how you _think_  of me?”

Hinata didn’t answer that.

“I’m not  _that_ close-minded,” Komaeda said, actually sounding kind of affronted. “I like to think that if nothing else, I’m practical. As long as Hinata-kun doesn’t have weird venereal diseases, I could care less if Nanami-san was interested in—”

“I just said it wasn’t like that!” Hinata snapped, cutting him off and flushed brilliantly red. “That… That’s  _definitely_  none of your business, Komaeda! Just—just shut up!”

“No.” Komaeda puffed his cheeks out childishly, glaring. “As I said, it’s just a practical concern to have for the person who calls herself my friend.”

Hinata glared back, still red-faced and indignant. Save for the blush, Komaeda’s unimpressed expression unknowingly mirrored his.

“…You’re incorrigible.” It seemed like the best comeback at the time. And Hinata turned away, leaning against the tree with a grumble. “You know, this spot is supposed to be  _relaxing_.”

“That’s true.” Komaeda leans back too, sighing again but this time more wistfully. “Hinata-kun, you frustrate me too much to be normal.”

Hinata choked out a sarcastic laugh, but Komaeda didn’t seem affected at all.

“I suppose… From a certain point of view, Hinata-kun’s ambition and efforts in spite of his mediocrity may seem admirable to some… But as I said, you’re just going to disappoint yourself and possibly others.” Hinata curled in on himself, frown deepening. Komaeda still seemed so calm even as he said such things, all in that matter-of-fact tone. “Honestly I should be  _worried_  about you. Or I should just brush you off like I do with everyone else who foolishly believes hard work can amount to anything without talent. Maybe I should pity you. But instead… I’m frustrated with you. I’m frustrated and at a bit of a loss as to how to articulate my exact feelings towards you.”

“Are you going somewhere with this?” Hinata asked irritably, and not at all curiously.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Komaeda was still looking straight ahead. Not at him. Komaeda didn’t even seem to be looking at anything in particular. Not really. “That said… I’d like to figure these things out. It’s as though, in spite of everything, there’s a kind of magnetic pull between us. Chemistry, perhaps? Do you feel that way as well, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata’s throat felt dry, and his answer came out as a bit of a croak. “No.”

“Then maybe it’s just the brain rot kicking in!” Komaeda exclaimed, and suddenly he seemed so distressingly cheerful about it. “A _ah_ , what a relief! I can’t imagine the good luck that’ll come from this despairing revelation!!”

_Komaeda’s being creepy again._  And then, almost helplessly, at feeling his cheeks heating up at that bright smile on Komaeda’s face, Hinata wondered. _Why is he like this?_

He wondered if he’d ever understand, if Komaeda ever let him. If such a thing was even possible.

Suddenly, Komaeda took a deep breath and relaxed. Hinata perked up.

“…Still. Even if it is just brain rot… I’d like to see in Hinata-kun what Nanami-san might see…” Sighing, Komaeda’s eyes fluttered shut. “I just…”

“As I said,” Hinata cut in, feeling his chest clench. “It’s not  _like_  that.”

“Hmm. Okay. If Hinata-kun says so.”

_It can’t seriously be that easy._

Hinata bit his lip before picking at the inside of his cheek with his teeth.

_Since when do you just take what I say at face-value? Granted, it’s like the third time I’ve had to say it, but, still… It’s not like…_

He bit down again, peeling away a layer of skin.

_It’s not like you’d stop worrying about Nanami just because of what a reserve course student has to say. She’s an elite. I’m… I’m not good enough for her, here, and especially not you. God,_ **you** _…_

It wasn’t fair. It seriously wasn’t fair.

_I just don’t understand…_

Resting like this, looking perfectly at peace, Komaeda never looked less striking. What a painfully perfect expression on an unfairly delicate face. God, _why_ —

_Why am I_ **like** _this?_


	22. KomaHina - 6 Different I Love Yous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly post-sdr2 AUs with a couple odd ones in-between. Soft M for some sexual mentions. The last ficlet?
> 
> It's MMAU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... : >
> 
> Enjoy.

**Over and over again, till it’s nothing but a senseless babble**

 

Sometimes Nagito jolts awake and digs his fingers in deep enough to draw blood. Sometimes, he’s trembling, giggling feebly and buries his face hard into his shoulder.

“Hinata-kun,” he whispers, giddy and hysterical. “ _Hajime_.”

Hinata usually wakes quickly—it takes a while but he always does, especially at times like this. It takes a while but eventually he registers the situation—Nagito pulling himself closer into Hinata’s chest, breathing so hard he wheezes, Nagito tangling their legs together and Nagito  _saying his name, over and over_ , like a distraughtly broken record,  _Hajime, Hajime, **Hajime**_ —Hinata usually wraps his arms around Nagito in return with a simple response of, “I’m here, Nagito.”

“Ehe.” Nagito quivers, and chokes on a weak fit of laughter. “Ehehe. Hee. Haji _mee_ …”

“There, there. Just breathe.” It’s almost mechanical the way he talks, but it’s really because he’s already tense. He strokes Nagito’s hair to comfort both him and himself, shushing him carefully and tersely, “It’s going to be okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Nagito, Nagito…”

This time, at least, he doesn’t gasp when Nagito’s hips jerk against his own. When Nagito bites his collarbone and drags his nails down his back. He’s not even surprised.

“Hajime,” Nagito pants against his neck, pressing into him. His laugh is weak enough to crumble the second it leaves his lips. “H-Hey. Hajime. Touch me? Please? Please?”

“Okay, okay,” Hinata sighs into the other’s mouth, clammy fingers tangling in those white curls and a hand squeezing a bony, jutted out hip. “I’m here, Nagito, I promise.”

“Love you, love you,” Nagito chirps over and over and he hears the cracks as the words and Nagito himself fall apart so Hajime can put them all back together again.

 

**friends with benefits au**

 

Hinata is his best friend, and Komaeda thinks that influences how gentle he is—not to say Hinata  _wouldn’t_  be gentle with such things. Just that here— _with him_ —he  _seems_  gentler, so  _flustered_  with how his face glows crimson as his hands run down Komaeda’s fair thighs. No matter how often it’s done, Hinata’s always so nervous. But he never stops. They never stop.

“You know…” Hinata remarks when they’re in bed together with it all over and Komaeda wants nothing more than to snuggle. But that’d be too  _impertinent_ , he’s already blessed enough that Hinata even touches him at all and that he… “I really appreciate being like this with you.”

“I’m glad you enjoy yourself, Hinata-kun. It’d be embarrassing and horrible if you didn’t.” Hinata blushes at this immediately, flinching as Komaeda delicately laughs. “I wouldn’t be surprised, but I’d certainly feel so bad for you…”

“You…shouldn’t put yourself down like that… You were good.” In his very inexperienced opinion, but still. “I, er, appreciated it. Thanks…”

“I’m  _really_  glad!” he exclaimed, chipper and upbeat. “Hinata-kun, that I can do something like this for my dearest friend makes me really happy.”

“Yeah…” It’s strange though. Hinata smiles a bit but stares at the ceiling blankly as if it had something to say that Komaeda couldn’t put into words. It doesn’t of course, and that might be why Hinata looks a little sullen because of it.

_Hinata-kun, you know, I…_  Komaeda swallows.  _You know I love you, right? That you’re here with me right now… I’m so happy I wouldn’t be surprised if I lost you the next day. But if something like that happened… If it did…_

“Um…?” The confused, concerned noise gets Hinata perking up. Komaeda’s not sure what the look on his face must be, but whatever his frowning expression must look like has Hinata look a bit surprised himself before wordlessly holding out his hand for him.

Komaeda takes it without much prompting. They’re friends. Hinata’s always doing little things like this for him. It makes him happy. Hinata’s his best friend after all. Hinata’s hand around his as it squeezes is warm.

“Thank you… Hinata-kun…” he murmurs, soft and sweet as he smiles, and Hinata doesn’t say anything as he drifts.

_Are you really okay with it being like this?_

 

**“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”**

 

“Okay, I don’t see another one of those androids in sight. That last batch might have been all that was remaining in the area.” Hinata peeked through the blinds, recoiled a bit at the sight of a bloody mess of a person on one of the street’s corners, and quickly pulled away with a sigh. “So, that… That should be it, right? We should be able to return to the Future Foundation, right? We already escorted everyone we could find to safety… I think it’s safe to say we’re safe…”

“The building could still collapse any moment with us in it.”

“…Except, of course, that I’m never really safe when  _you’re_  around.” Hinata finished irritably, though part of him was glad that Komaeda was still making smartass comments. Lately…

…Well.

Hinata looks at his partner in crime of sorts, warily like always but with a care that he was only comfortable with recently. Komaeda, physically, looked fine. Hardly ruffled, with even his usually wild curls pulled back into a ponytail. Komaeda was even rummaging through a broken vending machine for snacks with his mechanical hand, probably in case of glass.

_Except…_

His chest really, really shouldn’t have clenched when, as Komaeda finally found a snack he liked, a brief flutter of a smile flickered across his lips. It shouldn’t have  _hurt_  when Hinata thought about how rare it had gotten to see Komaeda smile at all, as of late.

Lately, Komaeda had been moody, as what Souda and Kuzuryuu agreed on. He almost acted as coldly as Togami at times— _Hinata tried so hard not to compare him to Kamukura_ —and his smiles, which had always been so constant, became few and far between. It was worrying, even if Komaeda was one of the worst people to worry about.

It didn’t help that asshole was avoiding him a lot of the time. Annoyingly, Komaeda didn’t even have the guts to talk Naegi out of pairing the two together in missions, leaving long trails of awkward that Hinata wished he didn’t have to deal with on top of the weight of trying to fix the world. But Komaeda was about one of the most helpful partners to have—strategic and perceptive. If not for Souda having dissected all the Monokuma robots—something Komaeda, of course, suggested—then he probably…

He’d rather not finish that thought.

“Hey Komaeda…”

_But with all that in mind… Even with everything before it… I might just be…_

Komaeda wasn’t responding to him. Didn’t even look his way, really. Stifling his immediate annoyance at this, he tried again. “Komaeda. Hey.”

_…actually glad that Komaeda stuck around all this time…?_

“Hinata-kun.” Komaeda returns coldly as usual. But then he pulls out a bag of cookies from the vending machine and offers without turning towards him. “Do you want these?”

“Uh, sure, I just,” Hinata takes them, wondering why his hands are so clammy— _they’re just **cookies** , what even the hell_—before clearing his throat. “I just wanted to know what you think.”

“What I think?” Komaeda echoes, kind of like a bird, still not looking at him. “About what?”

“About, you know,” Hinata gestures uselessly with the hand that isn’t gripping the cookie packet hard enough for it to crinkle and crumble. “This?  _Everything_ , I guess?”

“Oh.” That soft sound shouldn’t have made him flinch. Maybe there was something wrong with him. What even the hell… “I’m sorry, Hinata-kun, please don’t get angry.”

Hinata completely snapped out of it, straightening up, and he’s already formulating a response—but he goes utterly silent when Komaeda does turn to meet his gaze. His heart practically stuttered in his chest—which was stupid even though when  _had_  been the last time he looked at Komaeda’s face so clearly? Had his features always looked soft yet also sharp? Those eyes always that shade of somewhere between gray and green? His fringe always so white, even against his far too fair complexion?

“I think,” Komaeda says, and Hinata shouldn’t be looking so hard at those lips—pale like the rest but also looking  _so_ —“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

_…Huh?_  “Huh?”

Komaeda’s face twisted, and Hinata can barely breathe. “Komaeda…”

“Come on,” That mask is back in place, and Komaeda’s back to avoiding his gaze. He stands, shoving the packet into his suit pocket and gestures for Hinata to follow with his shoulder. “Let’s return. I don’t think the building is going to collapse after all.”

_Wait… **Wait** …_

“Okay… Sure…”

Hinata wondered if there were ever a time he had been this tense.

 

**“I’m yours.”**

 

“You don’t need to look so hesitant. I’m just laying here, Hinata-kun.”

“T-There’s…” Hinata flustered, eyes trailing down the thin, pale body beneath his. “There’s more to it…than that…”

Komaeda smiled up at him, eyes twinkling. Stars in a moonless night. Hinata’s breath caught.

“I’m all yours, Hinata-kun. I’m yours.”

“…Komaeda…” Hinata swallowed. “N-No… Nagito…”

Komaeda flushed quite suddenly.

“A-Ah…” He squirmed. “Ah, um, on second thought…”

“Nagito,” he said again and grinned when it flustered him more. “Nagito, Nagito…”

“H-Hinata-kun…”

“Nagito,” he breathed into Nagito’s ear. Nagito shivered.

“A-Ah… Um… Hh… Ha…jime…kun…”

Hinata’s heart skipped a beat.

“I’ll say it more if you say it more. Nagito.”

“H-Hajime-kun…”

“Nagito…”

“H-Hajime-kun…!”

“Nagito!” Hinata flopped onto him, hiding his brilliantly blushing face into Nagito’s hair. “I… Fuck… I think we overdid it… My heart’s pounding like crazy…”

“M-Mine, too…” Komaeda laughed shakily and then wrapped his arms around him with a squeeze. “Haha… Hahaha… H-Hajime…kun…!”

“S-Stoooop…! I definitely won’t make it through the night, Nagito!”

“Noooo!  _Hajime-kun_!!!””

Despite that, Hinata couldn’t help but laugh with him.

 

**“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”**

 

The door slammed open.

“Hinata-kun!!!”

For a moment, he could see the panic clearly flickering over Komaeda’s features. Then, Komaeda perked up, and then heaved a heavy, exasperated sigh of relief.

“You’re so irresponsible, Hinata-kun!” he huffed, fuming quite a bit. “First on you take on a hundred killer robots by yourself and then you get caught in a collapsed building! You overdid it! The others were awash with the despair that you’d never wake up! You should be ashamed! You should apologize to everyone!”

“Hah…”

“You should even apologize to me!” Komaeda went on. “You caused me so much trouble! So much…!” A pause, and Komaeda looked affronted. “A… Are you grinning at me?”

“Huh? Am I?” He couldn’t help it. Especially with such an adorably angry look on Komaeda’s face. Especially when Komaeda looked worried again.

“Are you… _high_ …?”

“Ah, a little, probably,” Hinata giggled. “But, actually, I’m euphoric. Did you know that, like, I was swimming in and out of consciousness while I was out?”

Komaeda blinked at him.

“And sometimes, I could hear what people were saying while they visited.”

Realization dawned on Komaeda’s face, and those pale cheeks reddened considerably.

“So…” Hinata hummed, looking at him dreamily. “How long have you felt that way?”

“…you weren’t…supposed to hear that…” Komaeda’s cheeks flared as he squeaked. “Y-You weren’t supposed to hear any of that?! H-How much…?!”

“Not as much as I would’ve liked but,” Hinata shrugged. “Enough to get to point across. Still, that’s…”

“Humiliating!”

“It’s great!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been trying to confess to you for months! Man, it really was good luck I got caught up in that mess!”

Komaeda stilled, and he shivered.

“…So, um…” Hinata rubbed at the nape of his neck. “I, uh, really, really like you, too… Like…a crazy amount… So, er… If you want…to get together… That’d be great…”

Komaeda bit on his lower lip.

“Haha,” Hinata exhaled. “This is…really overwhelming, huh… My chest feels like it’s about to burst from nerves. But I…couldn’t stop…thinking about it… So I’m… I’m really, really glad…”

Komaeda breathed in sharply and breathed out.

_Aah, I feel like I could die here and now…_

“Hinata-kun… Please… Let’s just…focus on your recovery…”

Hinata nodded, still with that goofy grin. Komaeda definitely could’ve died from that.

_He really is dangerous…_

 

**“Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”**

 

“Good evening, Hinata-kun!”

He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or aggravated to see him.

“Everyone else is setting up a trap for me, but… I knew Hinata-kun was still safe.” Komaeda skipped forward, wrapping his arms around him. Hinata, of course, returned the embrace. “Of course, that’s in part because you’re just some reserve student. Ehehe… Still… I like being able to rely on you.”

Hinata squeezed him in response.

“…What are you planning, Nagito?”

“A scare,” Komaeda chirped, giggling as Hinata pulled him inside. “I want…to expose the traitor, too. I’m going to end this killing game, and then…hope will flourish! And the world will remember my once worthless name!”

Hinata nodded along blankly.

“You said you couldn’t remember, so it shouldn’t be you, but…” Komaeda nuzzled his shoulder. “I hope it’s you. Hey. Why don’t you come with me? I don’t want you to miss this.”

“Eh?” He nodded again. “Alright… Jeez… You could just tell me later. The others might get suspicious of me again if you show up with me in tow.”

“They’ll have more important things to worry about, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda pulled back, eyes bright. “But… Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you, Hinata-kun.”

“I already know,” Hinata replied, bumping his forehead to Komaeda’s. “I love you too, Nagito.”

For a moment, Komaeda’s smile looked sad.

“…Let’s get going, then.”

“Alright, alright…”

Hinata ruffled his hair, and inwardly, he smirked.

_That AI was getting to be a real pain in the ass._


	23. KamuKomaHina - Some Fluff and Spice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three fluffy nsfw prompts. Yep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeye.

**… grinding up against the other**

 

“I-If you’re not careful… You’ll crush him!”

“That won’t happen, Hajime. I won’t allow it.”

“Urgh…” Despite saying that, he didn’t think he could just stop now. Especially with how Komaeda _whined_. Komaeda was squirming so much between them, face flushed and mewling out messy iterations of their names, often slurred together. Hinata swallowed at the sight, leaning in to kiss his shoulder as Kamukura kissed up Komaeda's pale neck. “N… Nagito… He’s…really delicate, isn’t he?”

“He is. Careful, you might crush his thigh with how tightly you’re straddling it, Hajime.”

“Now you’re just being cheeky,” he hissed, and of course, Kamukura made Komaeda gasp with a sudden sharp thrust against his rump. Hinata got flustered and infuriated. “Now you’re just being unfair! He’s already in  _your_ lap!”

“Ah… Ah…” Komaeda was drooling, almost delirious. “I-I might just die…”

“H-Hey, don’t die! Nagito!”

“That won’t happen, Hajime. I won’t allow it.”

“Then be more…!” He stopped, nearly biting his tongue and shuddering at Komaeda’s thigh rubbing against his crotch. He grinds his hips immediately, groaning. “F- _Fuck_ , Nagito…”

Komaeda swallowed, head lolling as both of them kissed his neck.

“Too much…not enough…”

They both shoved him down at that.

 

**… having a “friend” over and the other accidentally interrupting**

 

“Oh, Hinata-kun!  _Hi_!”

Only Komaeda could greet him so cheerfully when he’s flushed with Kamukura kissing his neck and sliding his hand up his shirt all while seated in Kamukura’s lap. And only Kamukura would pull off of Komaeda’s neck for a brief moment of nodding in acknowledgement at him before returning to nibbling on a spot that was sure to bruise afterwards. And considering Komaeda’s lack of shame and affinity for low-cut shirts, Hinata was going to see it later.

He’s basically watching history be made right now.

If only this didn’t happen so often that he didn’t learn to expect this shit even as this time, this time, he so  _desperately_  hoped…

“You guys, come on,” he groans rather pitifully. “I need to study.”

“A-Aah, sooooorry Hinata-kun!” Komaeda exclaims and then moans as Kamukura scrapes his teeth against another sensitive spot. “O-Oh,  _mm_ , Kamukura- _kun_ …”

“Izuru,” he growls. “Don’t you have better things to do?”

Kamukura pulls away, and gives him a look. Hinata, understanding, flushed immediately and stammered out, “Y-You  ** _KNOW_**  what I mean! Let me and Komaeda  _study_!”

“K-Kamukura-kun, please…” Komaeda pleads, and then, Kamukura kisses his jaw and he gasps, “Oh,  _please_!”

_Oh my **god**. _ Hinata thinks and covers his face in utter despair.

 

**A Naughty Kiss**

 

He didn’t need a hand up Komaeda’s shirt to tell that his heart was racing right now. With the shaky way he laughed, the way he shuddered under his fingertips and under Izuru’s as well, it was–pretty easy to tell he was nervous.

He completely understood. Maybe Komaeda knew he did, considering his heart was hammering a mile per minute with his chest pressed to Komaeda’s frail back. And Izuru, seemingly and most likely completely unaffected, just leisurely kissed up Komaeda’s thigh, nipping at the most sensitive places along the way and making Komaeda squeak each and every time.

Meanwhile, Hinata was nuzzled into his neck, breathing him in but not going further than that quite yet. He really wasn’t sure. He was supposed to follow Izuru’s lead here but he really, really had no idea what exactly Izuru was leading him to do besides…

_…besides the obvious…_

“Ah, Hajime,” Izuru notes, but he hasn’t pulled away from kissing the scar running across Komaeda’s thigh. “You look antsy.”

“You’re the only one who isn’t,” he retorted weakly, and despite himself, his grip on Komaeda tightens. “This… This  _is_  your first time doing something like this, right?”

“Oh, is it Hinata-kun’s first?” Komaeda asks, quietly and curiously with a bit of drool running down his chin. It’s a little too endearing a sight, and Hinata can’t help but get even more flustered.

“Isn’t it yours, too?!”

Komaeda laughs, lightly, breathily, and Hinata feels his insides warm.

“You’re so cute, Hinata-kun.” And then, just like that, Komaeda turns to peck to corner of his mouth. “You used to be so  _innocent_ …”

“Innocent?!” he balked.

“You used to be completely unable to even say the word sex,” Izuru pointed out, to which Hinata reddened to worrying degrees. “Oh, even in this situation, you get embarrassed over a thing like that…”

“S…Shut up…”

Komaeda kissed him then, wetly and deeply, tongue curling around his own. He flinched at first, but as it went on, he dazedly pressed back, returning the kiss and following Komaeda’s lead, rubbing against his tongue, tasting bits and traces of that tea that he’d been drinking.

When Komaeda pulls back, he’s already leaning back in for more only for Komaeda to turn away with a laugh.

“You really are new to all this, aren’t you, Hinata-kun? But here you are in a situation like this…”

“S-Stop talking about that,” Hinata stammers but his eyes are still on Komaeda’s lips, pulled into a smile and pink, so  _pink_  and so much  _softer than they looked_. “Just… Just…”

Izuru kissed Komaeda next, just as Komaeda kissed him but harsher and _visibly_  wet with their tongues brushing past one another and the wet, smacking sounds almost resounding. Komaeda was drooling again. Izuru lapped that up for but a brief moment before returning to kissing him and,  _and_ …

“Hajime,” Izuru breathed as he pulled away, all those strands of saliva still connecting his lips to Komaeda’s. A shiver ran down his spine. “This might be too much for you.”

“That’s… That’s for  _me_  to decide, isn’t it?”

Defiance flashed in his hardened glare. Izuru hummed noncommittally, and then, without missing a beat, kissed  _him_  like it was nothing.

“Let’s see how this goes,” Izuru says as Hinata stares back, eyes wide and ears locking onto Komaeda’s soft, resounding laughter.


	24. SerKoma/MeshiKoma - Seven Cases of Self-Exploration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> VERY NSFW for most of this. Warnings for sexual themes, suggestive themes, and graphic depictions of gore and violence. Some mentioned Junko so there are hints of past abuse and trauma.
> 
> I thought I'd put this here for kicks, haha.
> 
> Happy birthday, Komaeda. :'D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I posted like a 46K series for Komaeda's birthday but I'm gonna update this too with some Servant/Komaeda because I like... Servant/Komaeda. I had more than I expected so I might post another batch after this, but, ehhh.
> 
> For now, it's a selfcest chapter. Enjoy. 83

**… moaning the other’s name**

 

“Nagito-kun, oh,  _Nagito-kun_ …”

“S-Stop that,” he stammered out, tensing as he winced at Servant rocking his hips to his. He covers his mouth to muffle a moan of his own, and Servant giggles sweetly.

“It’s just _our_ name, what’s wrong with saying it?”

“I-It’s…weird…” Komaeda swallows, gasping and Servant kisses along his jaw and neck. “S-Saying your own name is just…so…weird…”

“It’s your name, too,” Servant reminds him, kissing his cheek. “So in this situation it’s normal.”

_Nothing about this situation is normal._ Komaeda shakes his head, flushing. “None of this is normal.”

“Ooh, true,” Servant cooed, laughing, but then groaned. “But, oh,  _Nagito-kun_ , isn’t that part of the excitement?”

He shuddered, a moan escaping his lips, and Sevant nuzzles his cheek, pressing another kiss, one that was wetter than the last.

“Oh,  _Nagito-kun_.”

 

**… trying to turn the other on**

 

“Our sensitive spots are the same too, hmm? Well, of course, that’s hardly a surprise.”

He shivers, of course, as the other’s hand skims along his thighs before trailing up his shirt, against his sensitive rib cage. He flushes, squirms, and the other shushes him oh so gently into his ear.

“Relax, Nagito-kun.”

Servant kisses his ear, and nips at it. Another sensitive spot that earns an adorable quiver.

“This feels good, doesn’t it?”

He lets out a weak gasp.

“Do you find it a little  _exciting_? It’s certainly  _new_ , isn’t it? It’s the first time you’ve brought yourself such sensations…” Servant kisses his neck. “Isn’t this nice? Or is it a little too weird?”

“It’s…” Komaeda swallows. “It’s… _weird_ …”

Servant just laughs.

“That’s fair. But don’t worry, Nagito-kun, I’ll ease you in as gently as I can. It’s important to take care of yourself, isn’t it?”

 

**… giving the other a strip tease**

 

“We have the same bodies, so~~there’s really no need to be shy, Nagito-kun~~!”

“We…don’t,” he swallows, as the other shucks off his chic black jacket, chain dinging as he did. “You have a lot of scars that I don’t, right?”

“Ehehe, maybe.” A teasing smile as he tugs at the color of his long-sleeved, striped shirt, exposing a pale, bare shoulder, There were indents in the skin, as though someone dug their nails in deep. He blinked, but the other’s smile had softened considerably. “Is that sympathy?”

“I…don’t know.” Komaeda huffs sardonically. “I don’t know what any of this is.”

“Isn’t that obvious? It’s self-indulgence. Self-care.”

He tugs at the end of his shirt, pulling it up. His waist and abdomen is similarly slight, similarly pale but there are litters of small scars from either cuts or burns. Komaeda almost reaches out, curious about those marks on skin that is and isn’t his own, but at Servant’s smile and realizing his fingers were ready to curl around that shifting chain leash, he yanked his hand back.

“E _he_.”

“I-It’s just…” Komaeda trails off, taking in visible ribs, more scarring, and then… Servant starts to tug down his pants. Those milky thighs–milkier than his own–are littered with curious yellowing bruises in addition to the prominent dual symmetrical scars. “It’s…” He swallows. “Self-exploration. That’s…all.”

Hearing his own warm, high-pitched giggle was unsettling.

 

**A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips**

 

“You’re still going to look at me like that?” he laughs, hand at his hip as the other scowls, his already narrowed gaze sharpening even more. He doesn’t remember how it felt to look at someone like that but—being the recipient of that stare sent shivers up his spine.

Part of him, the part suffocating in cold hatred blurred with reverence, wondered if this was how she felt. He brushes it off quickly because he can’t help but think that, as worthless and base as he’s become—there’s no way she’d sincerely enjoy this as much as he did. Is.

There was also another difference. A natural advantage he had that she had to work her way up to.

“We don’t really change that much,” he says softly, matter-of-factly as he reaches out and grips the other’s hand. Their fingers fit together perfectly, as do their bodies when he pulls that younger reflection into his arms. Nagito freezes up, so Servant coos into an ear he knows is sensitive and delicate. “On the outside, I mean. But I can’t help but wonder—do you think my arms will provide more comfort than your own? I’m afraid my experience in trying to hold myself has gotten a bit rusty but I don’t really mind…”

Winding one around his waist, cupping his face with a mitten-clad hand as he pulled back and brushed his lips to those near perfectly identical ones once, twice.

“I think I missed,” he murmurs, a smug smile fluttering at his lips, “this kind of self-care.”

“This is repugnant.” Nagito scowls, and he sees that weakness she had once chipped away. With a laugh, he silently promises to himself that he’ll be a lot gentler than she ever was.

“I don’t know.” Their foreheads bump and giggles burst from his throat. “I’ve grown tired of hating myself.  _Haven’t you_?”

**With a shuddering gasp**

 

With a muffled scream from the sudden burst of pain, his eyes fly open wide, tears instinctively welling up in his eyes. His following moan is a lot more wretched as his eyes shut again, tightly with trembling lashes. Despite the throbbing, agonizing pain, the voice from above is quiet, contemplative.

“So these are the lengths you went to…” Opening his eyes back, his blurring gaze wanders to the indistinct mess of colors and shapes. Slowly, but surely, his vision focuses back into place and at the sight of an all too familiar face smirking back, his eyes went wide, pupils dilating as static buzzed through his ears. “For it to turn out to be such an amazingly, astronomical, astounding failure—that can’t be anything other than disgustingly despairing, don’t you think?”

“...!!” Whatever response he would have made was still stifled through the tape, and Komaeda would have squirmed if the sudden pain didn’t have him flinch and still. His limbs couldn’t have moved anyway—the only arm that was free was rendered useless from heel pinning down his wrist.

The other giggled, tapping his chin with the pointed end of Gungnir’s Spear.

“I have to say though, I’m impressed. You certainly fared much better than I had. An ending that came from this couldn’t have been terribly lackluster or underwhelming, I think.” Tossing that spear aside, he leaned in, putting more weight into crushing Komaeda’s wrist. In spite of that, compared to the hole in his stomach and the knife lodged through his hand, he hardly felt the pain from that at all. Most likely knowing this, the other chuckled. “But… There are disappointments in other regards. Like the fact that you gave up so easily in the first place. You could have been a main player—to think! Someone like  _you_ —!”

He removed his boot, sighing. “But, alas. I think maybe that’s just our fate. Makers of the game rather than its players. Maybe this  _was_  just fate in the end as well, as gruesome as it’s all turned out…”

Lowering himself, he reached to stroke his fingers along Komaeda’s cheek, the chain dangling from his neck pools on the panting chest underneath him. Komaeda flinches as he tucks wayward strands of white away from his face.

“But, you know, like this,” the other murmurs, an amused smile pulling at his lips. “You’ve separated yourself from me. You’re so different. I don’t know how to feel about this. I can’t help but think that…” He leans in even closer and those fingertips ghost along the edge of the tape before digging their nails underneath the surface. Komaeda seizes up at the same time he whispers, “If you, Komaeda  _Nagito_ , could have become the main character after all—confronted and defeated that woman who I’ve spent so long under, hating and loving… Well, maybe I would have learned…to love and hate you too?”

He rips that tape off in a quick yank, allowing a shuddering gasp—somewhere between that and a high-pitched yelp—to burst from Komaeda’s lips. In an instant, he quieted him with a kiss. Komaeda was shaking and the other pulled away, licking blood from his lips before pulling them into a wide, wide grin.

“On second thought. Maybe I’ll fall for you regardless,  _Nagito-kun_.”

 

**A Scared Kiss**

 

“What’s with that look? You already knew you fell into despair, right? That’s why you did all of… _this_.”

The way he gestures to everything, from the burnt remains to the bloodied state of the body–it’s with a kind of dismissiveness that has Komaeda bristle, even as he remains tense. It still hurts, but he’s still glaring.

“Ah, but, you weren’t expecting a  _direct_  confrontation, were you?” he asks cheerfully, arms behind his back with a sway of his hips. The chain, dangling from his neck, jingles from the motion. “You thought once you died, that’d be it. Unfortunately, that was incorrect.”

Leaning in, Servant brushed the ivory strands from his former, distorted self’s face. It could have been with contempt as easily as it could’ve been fondness. His gaze flickered towards the tape over Komaeda’s mouth, and then smiled.

“There were noble reasons for this, but there were cowardly ones as well, weren’t there,” Komaeda flinches as he’s kissed through the tape. He couldn’t push the other off, of course, nor could he even move due to the injuries. This familiar, frightening helplessness–to think  _this_  was what that wretched girl had savored…

Ah, but, it was all  _his_  now, wasn’t it?

When he pulled away, he licked his lips.

 

**“You’re the best part of me.”**

 

“Ah, Servant-kun, you’re still here.”

“Sure am!”

“Alright.”

It couldn’t be helped. And he came to a strange peace with it, as much as it was still strange seeing someone who was, for all intents and purposes, himself but not. There wasn’t any point in denying it. And he…didn’t have it in him to try anything dramatic when their luck canceled one another out.

It just was what it was.

He still stiffened when Servant’s arms wrapped around him from behind when he had sat down to read.

“You know, sometimes I wonder,” Servant hummed into his ear. “What, exactly, you are.”

“Aha… Servant-kun’s saying things I don’t understand again,” he giggled just a little. “I told you; I’m just me.”

“I think you’re the best part of me. And I think this whole thing is so that you supplant me.” Servant tucked a few strands behind his ear. “But, mm, it’s still but a hypothesis. I have been snooping around. Oh, don’t worry, no one’s discovered me yet. Although… That Hinata-kun came close.”

“Please be careful.” Komaeda paused. “You were the one who said you didn’t want anyone to know about you.”

“Yes…” Servant kissed the nape of his neck. Komaeda flinched. “I did. But, Nagito-kun… A question. Were you planning on dying on this island?”

He didn’t even hesitate.

“I did. I couldn’t have expected I’d meet you. I hope you don’t kill me. That wouldn’t be very hopeful.”

“…It might be more hopeful if you killed me,” Servant murmured. “That’s…what I think.”

“I won’t do that.” Komaeda shook his head. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Servant-kun.”

Servant’s look was unreadable, and he squeezed.

“…you’re so cute.”

“Eh? But I’m you, right?”

“You’re cute.“


	25. SerKoma/MeshiKoma - Self-Imposed Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again NSFW. Similar warnings as previous chapter apply. So be wary of referenced abuse, trauma, and depictions of mental instability nearing a mental breakdown.
> 
> Yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to go ahead and post the rest of the selfcest stuff. They sure are...a thing. Yep.

**“I’m fine.”**

 

“This is…hell, right?”

There’s no better word for it. The blood-red sky, the ruined buildings left and right, the smell of sulfur in the air–sulfur and dried blood–Komaeda pressed his arm to his mouth, trying to block it out. He squinted, feeling his eyes sting likely due to the poisonous air, and his other self let out a cold hum.

“Despairing, isn’t it?” he asks cheerfully. “It’s definitely disgusting, as are the hopeless people scuttling about like cockroaches. But after this despair destroys itself, nothing but hope will remain.”

Komaeda looked at him, and the gust of air just then carried a stench that he immediately covered his mouth and nose to block out as he blanched. Perking up, Servant got to his feet with a content hum, and cupped his cheeks.

“Is something wrong? I’m not going to believe you if you say  _‘I’m fine’_ , you know.”

Komaeda shoved him off.

“There’s no hope in  _any_  of this,” he bit out, crossing his arms tight, shaking as he did. “This… This is… It’s nothing  _but_ …”

“Despair?” Servant asks, quietly and so softly that Komaeda’s trembling got worse. “That’s where you’re  _wrong_.”

 

**“I swear it was an accident.”**

 

“Well,” he laughs, brightly and easily while Komaeda couldn’t stop staring with an increasingly narrowing gaze. “Isn’t  _this_ something? Here I thought looking into a mirror would be nothing but a dull experience but… You’re quite _interesting_ , on the contrary. In a dull way.”

Komaeda’s expression twisted into something unpleasant, but before he could say anything, the doppelganger went on, “I swear it was an accident. This situation, of course. I didn’t mean for this to happen so,” His head tilted, wide almost doe-like eyes blinking back and framed by that stringy, sickening white. “Accept my apologies?  _Nagito-kun_?”

“You didn’t actually apologize.” The cold, clipped response was a bit of a surprise. Not the words, of course— _he figured that’s how the other would respond, he still_ knows _himself_ —but the sound. There was something about hearing how your voice sounded when you weren’t the one talking.

“I’m sorry, Nagito-kun.” It’s something else when he picks up traces of fondness in his own tone. The response had been instinctual. But that purposeful lilt went on, light and almost affectionate, “Forgive me?”

He almost shivered at Komaeda’s quick, visible recoil of disgust. Then his features shifted back to that cold mask of indifference. Without bothering to grace him with an answer, Komaeda maneuvered around him to head out the door—maybe Komaeda thought he’d disappear if left alone. Or maybe Komaeda just decided he wasn’t going to bother with this supposedly impossible situation.

Like he had more interesting things to do.

Well then.

“Don’t be so  _rude_ ,” he clicked his tongue, barely suppressing a chuckle as his hand wrapped tightly around that fragile wrist. Komaeda jerked back towards him, already starting to protest or yell or—whatever it was, Komaeda quieted instantly when their faces were far too close to one another’s, eyes wide and trembling just the slightest bit when a mitted hand cupped his cheek.

He knows they both only ever reacted that way when it’s  _her_  hand.

Very,  _very_ interesting.

“Nagito-kun.” He finished, and then repeated the name with a widening smile. “Nagito-kun. How was Hope’s Peak, hmm?”

“Are you implying something?” Komaeda pulled back but he wasn’t allowed much. “I wouldn’t  _know_  that—”

Very interesting.

“I don’t recognize this location.” He cut him off. “Would you care to remind me, Nagito-kun?”

Komaeda stares back—this time he really looks and it’s a wonder what he’s looking for. There’s so much to look at outside their blatant similarities that practically blur together, making the differences stand out so much more. Maybe it’s the chain—those eyes certainly do flicker to that a few times, to his amusement. It’s such an obvious thing that they both avoid talking about it—but maybe, for the hell of it, he should…

“You’re not really me…are you?”

Well, that’s an actual surprise.

“It’s…either a dream or a hallucination, right?” Komaeda’s talking more to himself, looking past his flawed reflection to something else. “Usami would have been here by now—she should have seen this… Maybe… Maybe I passed out while with Hinata-kun? Or… Or Nanami-san… Or maybe…”

Surprise after surprise. Name after name he didn’t recognize. Something was certainly wrong then, not just about his situation but this—all of  _this_  couldn’t have been more off. The location he can forgive, but everything else—

Komaeda yelps a bit when he’s pushed against the wall, chain clacking with the thump and those wide eyes return to meet his own, close enough to kiss, close enough that he flinches away from that mitted hand, seemingly too disgusted to bite.

“What…” Finally, the question he had been almost aching for. “What the hell  _are_  you?”

“Me?” He simply laughs, and brushes their lips together. “I’m just a servant, _Nagito-kun_.”

 

**Obsession**

 

Nagito.  _Nagito_.

There’s excitement in just the name alone. Giddiness in the very syllables. It’s a fine name, he thinks, one worth locking away. One that  _should_  be locked away—especially from himself, with how eager he is to sully those syllables by thinking them and saying them over and over again.

“Nagito. Nagito.”

_He_  really should be locked away. That’s what he thinks. Little,  _lucky_  Nagito, locked away from everything. From both despair and hope. Just nothing. He wondered how long it’d take for Nagito to lose it in such a situation. Perhaps weeks. Months. Maybe even over a year.

“Na _gi_ to.”

_But that’d be such a waste, wouldn’t it?_

“Nagito…kun? No. No, no, no. Just Nagito.  _Nagito_. Nothing else but  _Nagito_.”

The letters glare back at him the same way  _he_  usually did. He was glared at a lot, but kept smiling all the same, even when it was  _Nagito_. Really, the intensity of the glare he’d get then was impressive—cold enough to make the recipient shiver. He should brush such things off much easier than he did, but… Because it was  _Nagito_ …

_Nagito._  He looks of all those ugly scrawls of the name, dirtying it— _tainting_  it— _yet he couldn’t **help**  it_—and his smile widens a bit more, bright and cheerful in a way the ruined sky outside wasn’t.  _It’s just Nagito._

And that’s enough, isn’t it? Except for the part that it wasn’t. Because in a world like this, indulgence was a  _must_. It’s expected. It’s natural. Par for the course of a world wrought by only despair and desperation. This is only the latter, of course, because—

_It’s just Nagito. I can’t forget. Just Nagito. Just, just, just Nagito._

Nagito is his. _Irrevocably_  his. He’s okay with losing others—of just picking new pawns for the game when his pieces fall to the wayside or fail to provide the movement he needed. But that’s not the case for  _him_ —he can’t lose  _him_.

No, no, Nagito’s too  _precious_ for that. Nagito may detest him, may especially **resent**  him, but…

Nagito always _returns_  to him. Because Nagito must know, as well, how _impossible_  it is for the two of them to be separate. Even now. Even when he’s in this  _deep_.

“Disgusting,” Nagito says, coldly, and scowling as he just smiles, laughs, and reaches for _him_  all the same. Nagito doesn’t even hide  _his_ disdain for the motion. “You should have died before it got to this point.”

“…Nagito…”

“There’s so much despair in you that it really is nauseating,” Nagito goes on, twisting away, darkening even more when surrounded by all those scratchy, despicable scrawls of  _his_  name. Just so that he wouldn’t forget. But Nagito just sneers. “Is this really _her_  fault? Or are you just that pathetic? That you’re even _okay_ with this—that you think it’s a  _good_  thing—I don’t even know where to start!”

_But isn’t it?_  It shouldn’t matter for now, as long as the means make the end he’s hoping for. It shouldn’t matter. None of it should matter. Except this.

**_Except Nagito._ **

“Mother and Father would be so ashamed.” It almost sounds like a lament. It shouldn’t matter. But Nagito is sighing. “If they know—they must be already. It’s  _shameful_.”

Nagito recoils when his hand closes around  _his_ bony wrist. That green coat he loves so much flaps behind as  _he’s_ pulled forward, close and wrapped in a tight embrace. He’s already giddy as he coos that name, over and  _over_ , “Nagito, Nagito…”

“You’re  _sickening_.” Nagito hissed, gray eyes cold and sharp. Not yet dulled. He just smiles all the wider and kisses that scowling, seething mouth. Once. Thrice. As  _he_  goes on and on. “You’re awful. Everything about you is just plain vile.  _Spoiled_. And you can’t just blame  _her_  for it when you were so _happy_ to walk along those tracks she set. And you  _know_ that,  _don’t you_? Disgusting. **_Pathetic_**. It’s like everything about you ultimately amounted to just a simpering,  _mewling_  mess for that vulgar girl to play in.”

He chokes out a laugh, nuzzling into Nagito’s unmarred neck.  _A mess._  What a sublime description. Especially when Nagito is still so  _innocent_  in this ruined world. Even though his thoughts sully that on a day to day basis. But that’s only natural,  _isn’t it_ —in a world like this, it’s too be  _expected_ …

Nagito was made to fall apart in a world like this. He’s all too happy to take up the responsibility because it’s better this way then that _girl’s_  way. It’s a rectification. Maybe this way he can still keep Nagito pure and closed off. That’s a good way of looking at it.

“You’re so hopeless,” Nagito whispers into his ear as he finds himself tangling his fingers in soft strands, and gripping a sharp hip tight. “Obsessing when it’s _pointless_. When you  _know_  it is. When it can’t be  _helped_.”

He can’t help it. It’s only natural in a world like this. His hands map out  _his_ body the same way histrembling fingers trace the curves of  _his_  name—over and over—just so that he doesn’t forget. It’s desperation. It might even be despair, but he’d rather not think  _that_  way.

“You’re such lowly trash.” Nagito sneered as he just giggles, sweetly kissing the other with a hum. That initial deceptively chaste peck only hardened those soft features further, so he presses their lips together harder, deeper, reverently and indulgently. Just the soft little breaths that Nagito takes when they part are dizzying—and he’s already muttering that name— _Nagito, Nagito_ —in desperate, disgusting little pleas. He’s already trailing his lips back against the curve of _his_ mouth, to the corner of  _his_  lips, and then tracing  _his_  jaw, sighing as Nagito does, almost forlornly. “What a mess…”

_What a mess I’ve gotten myself into._  But he only thought that once before just brushing it all off—before just going along with it because really, what was the point? It didn’t matter. It’s the same even now. Nothing else matters except for this weak, faltering body he keeps clinging to. And will keep clinging to until it fades away. He should be allowed to. He should deserve this much after everything that wretched girl has taken.

He should get to keep Nagito to himself—to think even that wretched girl would want to take even  ** _that_** —

_…except… Hasn’t she already?_

No. This is  ** _his_**. She can step on him all she’d like but this is his, his,  ** _his_**.

That’s what he thinks— ** _fiercely_** _between the dizzying syllables of_  his ** _name_** _, over and over again_ —insistent as Nagito is pinned under him, as he ruins all that previously untouched skin as he tears those clothes he’s so fond off. His. It’s supposed to be his. Besides, Nagito will return to him later, once again unmarred, untainted and innocent because he’s the only one allowed to ruin _him_ —because that way  _he’s_  never  ** _actually_**  ruined and  _never will be_ —

“You,” Nagito breathes, sharply with a painful-sounding wheeze as he drives into  _him_ , panting, grunting, like someone trying to fight being suffocated. “ ** _Liar_**.”

 

**“It could be worse.”**

 

He can’t count how many times those thin fingers traced up his arms despite the number of times he’s brushed them off. The sharp chin pressing into his shoulder is all the more unpleasant, that disdainfully high-pitched, scratchy voice cooing into his ear.

About what, exactly, he wasn’t fully sure. Every syllable coming from the other seemed to all blend together into an indistinguishable mess. But that he could deal with, as ugly as that voice was.

The touches were another story, especially when he was being pressed up against so  _intimately_ , with lips tracing the curve of his cheek and the nuzzling—he  ** _hated_**  the nuzzling; it never failed to send disgusted shivers up his spine.

_But…_

“It could be worse,” Komaeda found himself whispering as the other him laughed, shaking and causing that chain between them to clink together. “You could be real.”


	26. KomaHina - Of Care and College

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 ficlets, one short one taking place in the Kokoronpa manga and the other two taking place in a university setting. SFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, it's been a while! I haven't been accepting requests as of late so I haven't been thinking to post and I...probably should do that? Like chip through my backlog while I have the chance?
> 
> Anyway, that latest ficlet has actually been made into a [comic](https://gaynagitos.tumblr.com/post/166897483837/college-au-left-to-right-based-off-an-adorable)! Please check it out~!
> 
> Also Kokoronpa is seriously cute. It's easily my favorite among the sdr2 manga. Komaeda's chapter especially is too good, too pure.

**“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”**

 

“Just don’t even worry, Hinata-kun! I’ll be doing my absolute best! I won’t let you down! I would never let one of the  _talented_ down!”

“Just don’t…overdo it, alright…?” Hinata sighed, wincing. “It’s just a bad fever, and Tsumiki’s already doing her best, so… You don’t need to go overboard, Komaeda.”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda said passionately. “A brilliant hope as yours mustn’t be snuffed!”

“It won’t be…snuffed…” Hinata trailed off. “It’s just a fever.”

A hellish fever, but a fever nonetheless. And he still wasn’t even sure where it came from. One moment he and Komaeda were talking about ice cream and the next…

Hinata perked up, noticing Komaeda’s troubled, avid stare. He offered a reassuring smile.

“I’ll be fine, Komaeda. Really. Don’t worry so much.”

“I… I’m going to prepare a meal! No worries, Hinata-kun! You won’t be snuffed!” Komaeda’s voice rose with fervor. “I won’t allow it!”

“Komae…”

The door slammed behind him.

Hinata could only sigh, rubbing at his temples.

“…please be careful… _jeez_ …”

 

**“This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”**

 

“It broke.” Hinata said simply, staring blankly at the device as though it were the void. “I spent days on what I already got…and my laptop broke. The assignment is due at midnight tonight.”

“This is indeed a problem,” Komaeda agreed as he kept holding down the power button to no avail. “Oh, don’t worry though, Hinata-kun, I’ll lend you mine. It’s much higher quality then this junky thing. I’ve been telling you to replace it, you know.”

“I spent days on what I had, Komaeda.” he repeated for effect, though he still sounded utterly dead inside. “Even if I started now—there’s no way in hell I’ll finish in time.”

“Well not with that attitude, certainly,” Komaeda huffed, removing his hand and going off to fetch his laptop. He went on as he activated the device, sighing, “When meeting a despairing situation, it’s important to have hope in order to overcome it. Without that, Hinata-kun, you might as well not even be alive.”

“I have no hope.” Hinata muttered as Komaeda signed in, shooting him with a glare. “I can’t do it. There’s just no way.”

Komaeda practically threw the laptop down, screen facing him with a new document already open. Hinata stared back uncomprehendingly, to which Komaeda gave a heavier sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“…you know what?” His hand dropped, determination clear in his gaze as he turning on his heel and headed into the kitchen. “Hold on a minute, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata remained despondent where he was, but listened to the sound of Komaeda’s feet pattering against tiles. Then he perked up as he registered the sound of the coffee maker turning on, the strong scent following soon after, making his nose wrinkle.

“Hey, Komaeda?”

“Just a second.”

“…Komaeda.”

“Hinata-kun, at least type your name or something.”

Hinata did do that, at least, the clicks of the keys doing little to alleviate his nerves. In fact, he only tensed more when he sensed Komaeda returning, delicately placing the mug of steaming coffee beside him, and earning Hinata to give him a wry stare.

“One cup’s not going to be enough.”

“Oh, I know,” Komaeda replied, and took out three packets of powdered energy drinks. Hinata’s jaw immediately went slack, eyes bulging as, without missing a beat, Komaeda tore each packet open and poured them into the coffee. Hinata’s sure he felt his heart drop with his stomach as Komaeda nonchalantly mixed the mess into a murky goop that practically promised some kind of stroke. Komaeda pushed it towards him when done, smile wide on his delicate face. “Let’s see if this helps, Hinata-kun.”

“This is your plan to get me to finish my assignment on time?” Hinata asks dumbly almost half-expecting, more like half-hoping for Komaeda to admit it was a joke. Of course, Komaeda shook his head, and all that emptiness in Hinata’s soul transformed into pure exasperation. “This is without a doubt the _stupidest_  idea you’ve ever had.”

Komaeda frowns innocently at him. “So are you in or not, Hinata-kun?”

He should refuse. He really should.

He should also really get that assignment done by any means necessary.

“Of course I’m in.” And to prove his point, he downed that thing, disgusting goop and all, in one sitting. In that split second of stability he had, part of him screamed at what a terrible idea this was.

But that same part was immediately muffled afterwards when any semblance of common sense completely shut down and Hinata was half-sure he reached either pure enlightenment or kicked it into total overdrive and— _wow, Komaeda never looked brighter_.

 

**College AU**

 

“Yo, Hinata, I…” Souda yawned, Hinata waved, and then, Souda stopped, blinking and incredulous. “Where’d you get all that bread?”

“Komaeda bought it,” Hinata muttered, mouthful of bread and jerking his thumb in the direction where Komaeda was fast asleep on their couch, tucked in with a comforter. “He said he’d really like it if we waked him up for his morning class.”

“…Sweet.” Souda sat down, plucked up one of the packages and tore it open. “Dang, this is the good stuff.”

“Komaeda has a good eye for bread as well as photography,” Hinata muttered as he continued writing. “It must be a talent.”

“Dude, not everything’s a talent,” Souda groaned, chewing on his own bread all the same. “Mmf…. I should get to bread but…bed…”

“At least it’s bread and not a paper, urgh…” Hinata wrinkled his nose but his voice soon softened. “Komaeda said he’ll edit it in the morning, at least.”

“…Can you believe he’s an honors student?” Souda asked. “I can’t.”

“I can,” Hinata said easily. “Komaeda’s eccentric, but he’s really, really smart and diligent.”

_Meanwhile a guy like me…_

“I’d just call him weird,” Souda replied, rolling his eyes. “But you’re crazy about him, so what can I expect?”

Hinata nearly choked.

“So are you going to let him take pictures of you naked or…?”

“Shut  _up_!?!?!”

Souda just laughed.

Komaeda, thankfully, only snored and continued to drool all over Hinata’s pillow.

 


	27. KamuHina - 5 Ficlet Assortment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hodgepodge including fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, and some nsfw undertones for the second to last ficlet. Includes mild canon divergence. (Does that one count as selfcest??? I don't know.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I finally posted a KamuHina chapter.
> 
> Yep. Sure did.
> 
> These two can be cute.

**“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”**

 

“Hajime.”

Izuru’s breath was visible, his cheeks and ears a rosy red, hair tied up. Hinata stilled, and he swallowed.

“Oi, Izuru… What brought you here…?”

“Groceries,” Izuru said, holding up a few plastic bags. “I have decided to cook for you. Please step aside.”

_Just because you say please doesn’t automatically make it polite._

All the same, he stepped aside and closed the door after Izuru brushed past.

“You turned up the heater quite a bit,” Izuru murmured, setting the bags aside and undoing his heavy pea coat to expose the ivory turtleneck underneath. “You really are sensitive to temperature, it seems. You likely have quite the appetite as well, correct?”

“Yeah…”

_If I didn’t know any better…_ Hinata’s eyes wandered down Izuru’s back.  _I’d say you were trying to seduce me, Izuru._

“That sweater looks good on you.” 

“I wore it for that reason,” Izuru said matter-of-factly. “I know your tastes quite well, Hajime.”

“Ah… Alright.”

_…Maybe he actually is trying._

That really was flustering. And flattering.

_Izuru’s really, really cute in an nontraditional way._

“…Thanks, Izuru.”

Izuru gave him a simple nod. When Hinata smiled at him, Izuru’s gaze softened a little before he quickly turned away.

“…Right. I should get started.”

“Right, right.”

 

**“I won’t let you.”**

 

“Have you given up?”

“What else am I supposed to do…”

“So, then, after everything, this is where you fall?” A pause. “How boring.”

“S-Shut up…” Hinata’s arms tightened around his knees and he curled up into a smaller ball. “What…did you even expect? I’m just a normal guy facing the reality that if we go on, I’m not going to exist anymore. Why continue? What’s the point? I don’t…” His breath hitched. “I don’t want to just…die…”

“I won’t let you,” he said. “I did not bring you back to kill you again, Hinata Hajime.”

Hinata laughed, softly and humorlessly, trembling all the while.

“Hinata Hajime,” he said, and kneels before him. “I am not the one who will be going forward.”

“I-I’m not… Just…leave me alone. I’m too tired. You’re tired, too, right? What’s the point? Whether I wake up or not, what’s…waiting for us…?”

“Our future is not set in stone. You may be killed, you may live. Perhaps you will fall into despair, but…perhaps… You will push on. And if that is managed… Perhaps…things will fall into place.”

“What the  _hell_ ,” Hinata muttered, shaking his head. “May? Perhaps?  _Perhaps_? What the hell kind of reason to go on is  _that_? So many…are gone, y’know? And we won’t remember this…or her…and it might not even be  _me_ …”

“To give up now would be boring, Hinata Hajime. And you do not wish to spend the rest of your days bored. Especially here, beside yourself, cold,  _alone_.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Hinata repeated stubbornly. “Hope, despair, now, the future, none of it matters, it doesn’t, it doesn’t, it…!”

Arms wrap around him, and tug him into a surprisingly warm embrace.

“…It does, Hajime.”

With the tears flowing freely, Hajime held onto the other and sobbed.

 

**“I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”**

 

“You are avoiding me, Hajime.”

“Izuru, I just said it was because I’m  _busy_.”

Despite that, Izuru’s eyes only narrowed even as that frown of his never changed.

“There is more to it,” Izuru said. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”

Hinata flinched, and then, he sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“Look… Izuru…”

“I know,” Izuru cut in. “I know that I am not a warm, inviting person, but… You are someone I hold in regards nonetheless. When you ignore me or avoid me, I find it…” He was quiet for a moment. “Unpleasant.”

Hinata’s frown deepened with guilt.

“…It’s not you,” he said, sighing. “It’s me.”

Izuru hardly looked comforted.

“Regardless of who it is, our relationship is suffering.”

“H-Hey now,” Hinata stammered a bit. “It’s not like… I don’t…like you anymore…or that I like you any less than I always have…”  _It’s the opposite of that._  “It’s just…been difficult.”

“Difficult,” Izuru repeated. “Boring. I knew that already. I could tell that much easily.”

“Yeah… I know…” Hinata shrugged helplessly. “I’m sorry, Izuru. I’m really sorry.”

_It’s not a crush. It’s a complex. And you don’t deserve that shit._

“I forgive you all the same,” Izuru said.

_…God, you don’t deserve any of this._

“…thanks…”

 

**… tying up the other**

 

“You’re still nervous.”

“S-Shut up…!”

“Why?” Those eyes, crimson and piercing and always capable of taking his breath away, blinked up so innocently at him that it was…something that made him shiver. “The restraints are secure, Hajime.”

“You…could still find a way out of them,” Hinata muttered, flustered. “I  _know_ you.”

“Yes,” Izuru says without batting an eyelash. “But this is more for you than for me, correct?”

_Correct?_ Hinata swallowed and wanted to laugh.  _Correct._

He won’t deny how good Izuru looked under him like this, wrists bound above him, the long ebony strands splayed over the covers, those  _eyes_. He’s straddling him, well aware of the firm abdomen underneath, and his heart is definitely, definitely pounding with heat thrumming through his veins.

“…Yeah… Jeez, who else would it be for?” he asks, almost ruefully. Izuru blinks up at him.

“…I can certainly see the appeal on this side of things.” He arches, just a little, and Hinata sharply inhales. “…Your expression is part of it, Hajime.”

“How is it that you have me wrapped around your finger even when you’re the one tied up?” Hinata wonders, smiling, eyes hooded as he brushes Izuru’s hair back. “You really are something else, Izuru.”

 

**Caught in a Storm**

 

“Urgh, just perfect, just wonderful, _great_!”

With the raising words of annoyance, the thunder outside boomed and lightning flashed. And, of course, the lights went out.

“ _WOW_! OKAY!”

Hinata muffled a scream into his towel. Kamukura, how already had his long hair wrapped up in one with how wet it had gotten, just blinked back at him in the dark. Then, he simply sighed.

“I’ll get some candles.”

“Ah, wait…” came Hinata’s weak albeit grumbled reply. “It’s dark, Izuru. Let me go.”

“I can easily navigate. You’ll bump your leg and get a bruise.”

“Who’s to say  _you_  won’t?” Hinata asked sharply. “You’re a talented guy to the point of it being a little inhuman, but even you can’t see in the dark.”

“I can make my way around. I can be careful.”

“So can I. This is  _my_  house!”

“I know you’ll just bump your leg, Hajime.”

“I won’t!” And just to prove his point, he threw the towel aside and would have stomped past if–

Lightning flashed. Thunder followed with a roaring crash.

Kamukura’s grip on his wrist was tight. And then, he moved to entwine their fingers. Hinata, for once grateful for the darkness and grateful for the thunder, felt his face no doubt redden as his heart pounded in his chest.

“It’ll be safer if we go together,” Kamukura says, and then, quieter. “Less worrying for both of us, I suppose. Is this a fair compromise, Hajime?”

Hinata took in a deep breath, laughing nervously and tightening his grip on the other’s hand.

“Yeah, it’s… It’s fine… Geez, you were that worried about me?”

“Of course.”

It’s embarrassing how easily he says it. It’s almost infuriating embarrassing how easy this is to say for someone he just called inhuman a while back.

Guilt welled up in the pit of his stomach. Slowly, Hinata nodded, and then, so quietly,

“I’m sorry, Izuru.”

“You’re forgiven, of course.”

**_Of course._ **

 

 


	28. KamuKoma - 5 Ficlets With Sensuality and Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. NSFW. For individual warnings: rough sex, mentions of choking, dirty talk, and the last fic isn't NSFW but it is Yandere!Kamukura and includes referenced stalking. Yep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I've posted a crap ton of KamuKoma stuff for KamuKoma Week, so why not update this too, while I'm at it?
> 
> All I have though is this, uh, stuff...
> 
> Yeah.

**“Teach me?”**

 

“Izuru-kun, I-zu-ru-kun!” Nagito wrapped his arms around him tightly and squeezed. “Ehehe, Izuru-kun, good morning!! Kiss, kiss?”

“Ah, very well.” Brushing Nagito’s hair back, he leaned in for a string of quick, sweet kisses that seemed to delight the other more with each additional brush of lips.

“Ah, ah, ah…” Nagito blushed, eyes sparkling. “You’re so good at kissing, Izuru-kun. Can you…teach me? How to better myself at kissing, I mean?”

Izuru blinked at him, and leaned in once more.

“It is a matter of knowing what the other likes. You prefer gentler touches, softer plucks. You’re exceptionally receptive. So you’re easier to please.”

“And yet I’m dating perfection,” Nagito hummed. “I wonder if my standards really are that low.”

“They are. Quite low.”

Nagito stuck his tongue out.

“So what do you like, then?” he asked, changing the subject. “Izuru-kun, is it true you have no likes or dislikes? That can’t be true. You like me.”

“I dislike getting my hair cut.”

“I know that,” Nagito laughed. “But…in terms of something more…” His fingers stroked Izuru’s nape. “More…sensual…”

Izuru hummed.

“You will be disappointed by my response.”

“Ehhh? Now I’m  _really_  curious!!!”

“Apologies. Let me make it up to you.”

“Izu…! Mm….!”

 

**… trying to play footsie with the other during a meeting**

 

Even though Kamukura’s expression was impassive as ever, Komaeda couldn’t keep himself from blushing.

“Kamukura-san,” Sonia said kindly. “Any comments?”

“Boring.”

Kamukura’s foot pushed against his own and he shivered.

“Ugh, don’t mind him, Sonia-san.”

Tentatively, Komaeda pushed back.

There was a twist at Kamukura’s lips. Komaeda perked up, breath catching.

“Anyway, so I was thinking…”

“Yes, yes…”

“I see, I see…”

“Mmm…”

“K-Kamukura-kun…” Kamukura reached out, and squeezed his hand. Komaeda swallowed at that, eyes shimmering. “Kamukura-kun…”

“Can you two fucking  _not_?” Kuzuryuu snarled.

Komaeda pulled away hurriedly, and yet, Kamukura’s foot pushed against his yet again.

 

**Rough sex/Dirty talk.**

 

“You really enjoy this, don’t you?”

Komaeda’s eyes are alight, smile only twisting and widening as his fingers twisted into those ivory strands. It widened further as he pulled.

“A-Aha…! Ooh, you’re wicked,” Komaeda cooed. “Goodness, for something artificial, you’re  _base_ , aren’t you?”

Komaeda let out a loud moan as he drove into him, crimson eyes narrowing sharply all the while.

“A-Ah, ah…” He moaned again into the rough, dominating kiss. “M-Mmm…! K-Ka… Izu…”

Kamukura covered his mouth and fucked him harder, until tears began to sting those swirling grays.

“D-Disgusting… D-Disgusting…!” Komaeda gasped out. “Y-You’re supposed to be the symbol of hope and h-here you are r…rutting…like a dog…!”

“Boring,” Kamukura clicked his tongue. “I rather you make those more incoherent sounds. I suppose I shall just have to fuck you senseless, then.”

 

**Domination/submission**

 

“Hah… Hah…”

“Be quiet. Be still.”

His heart wouldn’t stop hammering, especially against his throat, especially against that hand that could’ve crushed his windpipe with a mere twitch of his fingers. He shivered and swallowed.

“Boring.”

Those sharp, piercing crimson eyes didn’t even narrow, but all the same a thumb rubbed over his frail throat.

“A-Ah…”

Another swallow, and softly, he whined.

“Boring,” Kamukura said again, voice low, dull, and yet so, so velvety and harmonious.

“…B-Beautiful…” he couldn’t help but whisper helplessly, going limp. “So, so beautiful…”

“I could tell you not to breathe,” Kamukura said. “And you would suffocate, here and now.”

His breathing hitched at that.

“…But, that would be boring. Feel free to sob in relief, if you so wish.”

He did.

 

 

**Obsession**

 

Today Komaeda Nagito had gotten himself melon bread. He was still drinking Dr. Hopper and would be for the next several weeks.

Another unremarkable moment to join the many others he’s observed. And, yet, Komaeda Nagito wrinkles his nose like a rabbit would.

It is…endearing.

Komaeda swallows and notices his stare. He stiffens for a moment and hurriedly looks away. He’s stiff, shivery, and finishes up his bread. He hurries out, and of course, Kamukura follows.

This time, Komaeda stops when they’re in the hallway. Kamukura does as well, but only when he’s several steps closer.

“Stop that.”

Kamukura does not reply, so Komaeda’s voice sharpened at its already tense edges.

“S-Stop stalking me, Kamukura Izuru-kun. Haven’t you gotten bored yet?”

“I have not,” Kamukura said. “You still hold my interest, for an inexplicable reason I need to determine.”

“…You don’t gather my trash, do you?” Komaeda asked warily.

“…No.”

“T-Then, why don’t you instead make yourself useful,” Komaeda spun on his heel and practically flung his soda can into Kamukura’s hand. Luckily, it did not spill. “Throw this away before you resume stalking me.”

“Very well.”

And so he watches as Komaeda Nagito turns back and hurries off.

There was still some soda left in the can.

He drinks it before tossing the trash, idly touching his lips as he did.

 


	29. KamuKomaHina - 4 AUs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SFW. Self-explanatory. Just some snippets of some AUs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the first AU is the same one as the fic [Re:World(s)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4611123) that I wrote a few years back for shsl rare pair week. That's a KomaNami fic, though... I kept meaning to write a KamuKomaHina-focused prequel/sorta sequel and...never did. Whoops. Still, here you go.
> 
> AUs are fun. I like AUs a lot. They're golden.

**Fantasy AU**

 

It’s not that he isn’t content where he is, but there’s still a sense of envy that wells up when he overlooks guilds and groups discussing their plans for the next adventure, be it the monster they need to slay or the supplies they need to gather. He’s long accepted that he could never be one of them, but…every now and often he still wished…

“Hajime,” his brother snaps at him, getting him to flinch. “I finished cleaning.”

“Ah, oh… Thanks, Izuru.” Hinata nodded, laughing. “Sorry, sorry. If you want to take off and relax for the rest of the day, I don’t mind.”

“Boring,” Izuru huffed, and looked towards the guild. “How many rooms are they paying for?”

“Mm, about two… They’re saving up,” Hinata sighed. “Those rooms are going to be cramped…and dirty. But I couldn’t convince them to pay for an extra room for our sakes as well as theirs.”

Izuru’s eyes narrowed sharply. “Their auras are…not much. The mages they have with them are decent, I suppose. Komaeda has not approached them with his ridiculous quest, has he?”

“Komaeda prefers recruiting just one adventurer at a time,” Hinata reminded him. “He can only handle so much disappointment at once…is how he put it.”

Izuru was quiet, but flipped his hair.

“His quest cannot be too terribly important if he can afford to be so picky.”

“Izuru…”

The door opened with a ding.

“Hinata-kun! Kamukura-kun!” Komaeda bounces in, waving and happily holding up a bag of purchased wares. “Since you’ve been so kind to me, I’ve brought pastries! I played a bottle game with the baker and won quite handily so I was rewarded! And you can have them!”

“…What happened to your cloak, Komaeda?” Hinata asked, blinking at the sight.  _He looks so much slighter without it._

“Ahhh, someone’s fire spell went awry and when I tried to perform a water spell, aha… There was…a thundercloud…” Komaeda shrugged, sheepish, and also held up a bag with his soaking wet cloak inside. “U-Um… I can’t pay for it to be cleaned right now but I can stop by the gambling table later…”

“No need,” Izuru said and took the bag without missing a beat. “This is payment for the pastries.”

“B-But they were supposed to be gifts…”

“Then consider this a gift.”

“…Uuu…” Komaeda hesitated, but as Hinata took the box of pastries with an apologetic smile, Komaeda soon just nodded sullenly. “Okay… Um… I’ll go sit and wait, then…”

He looked at the guild, and some of them shuddered, glancing up and looking at Komaeda. Because… Komaeda’s aura was something that even Hinata with his beyond dulled senses couldn’t help but notice. They hurriedly looked down and looked away, and Komaeda sighed.

“…Not good enough,” he muttered. “None of them are good enough…”

With a pout and a huff, Komaeda went up to his room. Hinata watched him.

“…Hajime, the inn will not keep itself,” Izuru reminded him, making him flinch again and nod.

“Oh, yeah, right…”

It’s another weird day.

 

**Vampire/Werewolf AU**

 

“Hajime, you know how unwise it is to adopt strays.”

“Izuru, you’re the one who carried him here!”

Komaeda yipped at them both. He soon returned to gnawing on Izuru’s boot, fluffy tail wagging back and forth.

“We cannot even use him for food,” Izuru noted. “His blood would taste horrendous. Most unfortunate.”

“A…At least he’s cute?” Hajime said, gesturing to him helplessly. Komaeda barked. “How aware do you think he is of what’s happening?”

“He is a dumb dog,” Izuru said and then scratched behind one of the white fluffy ears. Panting, Komaeda rolled onto his back for belly rubs. Izuru conceded. “It is hard to say. We should stay wary of him.”

“And here I thought you were a cat person…”

For a second, he was almost distracted by that fluffy tail again.

_…Cute…_

“He should transform tomorrow morning,” Izuru mused. “What do you think his human form is like?”

“Mmm…” Hajime looked him over, at those bright, innocent gray-greens and the goofy, panting grin. “I wonder if he’s still…fluffy.”

“Perhaps,” Izuru said. “This much fur does not seem like it would be limited to this form.”

Hajime hummed again.

_…really cute…_

And now he can’t help but be really,  _really_  curious.

 

**wings**

 

“Geez, Komaeda, do you even preen them?”

“Ahaha, I try to, but…”

“Be careful,” Kamukura said sharply, making Hinata twitch. “They are fragile, Hinata. You might pull out several feathers if you are not careful.”

“Kamukura-kun worries too much,” Komaeda murmurs, ducking his head with cheeks aflame. “Hinata-kun’s careful as can be.”

Hinata snorts as he combs through the sickly gray feathers. Quite a few were uneven. Some were stained dark. Hinata’s frown deepens.

“Unsightly, aren’t they?” Komaeda asks. “Nothing like yours or Kamukura-kun’s.”

“…they’re soft,” Hinata says. “And they have their own charm.”

Kamukura doesn’t have anything to add, verbally. He just takes Komaeda’s hand and squeezes. That, to Hinata’s ire, brings a smile to Komaeda’s face.

_I should just be glad that he’s smiling. Yeah._

Komaeda had a really pretty smile. Even with how pale and sickly he was.

_His wings are the same. They’re pretty. Much more interesting than my boring brown ones._

Of course, few compared to the obsidian of Kamukura’s wings.

_Haha. **Urgh.**_

“Alright. That should do it.” He pulls away to admire his handiwork and more specially, Komaeda’s wings all neat and tidy. When he caught Komaeda staring at him, he ended up flustered. “U-Uh… So try to keep up wing maintenance, alright, Komaeda?”

“Oh, okay…” Komaeda beams. “Thank you, Hinata-kun!”

“U-Uurr…”

“Ah,” Kamukura says. “Hinata’s wings got all ruffled.”

“S-Shut up?!”

 

**Mirrors**

 

There was something odd about the mirror in the old shed. Its frame is beautifully adorned, but there is something not right about the mirror itself. Even the smooth texture feels…very strange.

“Komaeda? You’ve been taking a while…”

_“…what are you doing, Komaeda Nagito?”_

Komaeda flinches, turning back to the mirror. The door opens behind him, and he knows Hinata is the one approaching him, but what he sees in the mirror…isn’t Hinata. Not really.

This person is but  _isn’t_  Hinata. This person moves with purpose and presence, this person’s eyes are a glowing red, and yet, it’s Hinata’s face that’s framed by long tendrils of black.

This person touches the shoulder of his reflection the same time Hinata does, causing a jump.

“A- _Ah_?!”

“Komaeda?!”

Hinata is staring at him, wide-eyed, and then grimaced.

“What did you  _yell_ for?”

“I…” Komaeda hesitates. “I don’t really know. My apologies, Hinata-kun.”

His gaze, despite himself, darts back to the mirror. That person’s crimson eyes bore into him, and that person reaches towards him.

Hinata is reaching for him, too, and he stumbles back, eyes squeezing shut.

“Oi,  _Komaeda_?!”

He ends up landing flat on his back in front of the mirror.

_…eh…? Wait, what…?_

When his eyes open, there are dark, leather shoes before him. When his gaze travels up, Kamukura Izuru looks unimpressed.

“You really are so clumsy, Komaeda Nagito.”

_“Geez, Komaeda, be careful next time.”_

Kamukura helps him up, and Komaeda shivers as he does.

“Come on,” Kamukura says, and then his voice merges with that of the person who is but isn’t Kamukura Izuru. “Let’s get going.”


	30. KamuKomaHina - Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 ficlets, largely unrelated. All SFW.
> 
> The first is part of a twins AU. Warning for past character death.  
> The second is in Hinata's head. Mental instability and negativity.  
> The third is a continuation of one of the previous aus. Self-explanatory. Suggestive, but still safe. I think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got an unexpected influx of fic requests and of those included some good ol' KamuKomaHina. I cobbled these three together because I could connect them in the vaguest possible sense, as indicated by the title of this chapter. Lol. One of these fics was actually in response to a commenter's request. Yeah. I ended up posting it really soon after all.
> 
> First fic is sad. Wtf.

**Death/Grief**

 

“Ah, oh… It’s already clean.”

_Of course it is. Kamukura-kun’s his brother, after all._

Still, he felt rather silly, coming all this way with nothing else to offer save for faded flowers and uninteresting incense. Hinata’s grave was tidied up, looking almost pristine. As expected.

_Kamukura-kun’s his brother, after all._

Komaeda burns the incense, sending a prayer.

“Hi, Hinata-kun.”

He waves awkwardly, useless as the gesture may be.

“So Kamukura-kun’s been taking good care of you, huh? That’s good. It must be wonderful to have such a diligent sibling,” he said. “Kamukura-kun sure is great.”

_Meanwhile, I’m the reason you’re dead in the first place._

“I-I’ve been doing well!” he exclaims. “Um, um, Gekkogahara-sensei and I meet up regularly. Sometimes I even call her. Um. I have food delivered to my place regularly so I’ve been eating… I’m doing really, really well… I also got a screening… My cancer’s pretty much gone… I’m…the healthiest I’ve ever been…”

_Aha. Haha. Hahaha._

“I’m thinking of maybe traveling overseas,” he goes on. “Somewhere like Spain, maybe? Or Italy? Somewhere luxurious. I guess.”

_…somewhere far away…_

“There are many things I wanted to do, museums and performances I wanted to see… I already have a whole ledger of plans…! I-I’m doing…really well…”

_So… So…_

“So you don’t have to worry about me anymore.” He’s practically whispering the words, his voice dulled and slurred. “I’ll be fine. Since I don’t have any ties here, I’ll be… I might as well leave.”

“So you’re running away.”

Komaeda yelped, flinching. He turned around quickly, eyes widen and stricken as they met Kamukura’s unimpressed gaze.

“How expected,” he says coolly. “How boring.”

“…Kamukura-kun… H-How long have you…?”

“Long enough.”

Komaeda ducked his head, ashamed.

“I… I-I, um…”

“I apologize. I grew tired of you avoiding me, Komaeda Nagito.”

“Y-You don’t sound sorry,” Komaeda laughs almost weakly. “But it’s okay. I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I won’t…get in your way anymore…”

Kamukura huffed and strode forward. For half a second, Komaeda fantasized about Kamukura strangling him then and there in front of Hinata’s grave. Instead, Kamukura helped him up, and steadied him when his legs immediately gave out.

“You took a taxi here, correct?”

Komaeda slowly nodded against Kamukura’s shoulder.

“…yeah…”

“Then,” Kamukura said. “I’ll drive you home. That would be easier.”

“I-I…”

“Come on.”

With an unforgiving grip and no way to argue, Kamukura squeezed his hand tightly as he tugged him along.

 

**Negative Emotions**

 

“You really are worthless, aren’t you? Everything you did was all for naught. How expectable. How boring.”

He wanted to run but his feet were rooted to the ground. He wanted to cover his ears but his arms wouldn’t move. He wanted to at least shout, but his throat closed up and he couldn’t speak at all.

“Are you upset over this? Are you despairing?”

Kamukura Izuru crossed one leg over the other, remaining poised and seated upon the desk. His gaze was cool and impassive.

He wanted so badly to rip that look off the other’s face.

“It’s worthless,” Kamukura says. “You’re worthless. You wasted everything. Your dreams. Your future. Your past. Your life. It’s all meaningless.”

Hinata trembled.

“But, still, you mustn’t lose hope!”

Suddenly, thin, stick-like arms wrap around his shoulders. A cold body presses into his own, a soft laugh tickling his nape and ear.

“If you lose hope, you really will have nothing left,” Komaeda murmurs. “Isn’t that right, Mr. Reserve?”

Hinata shivered.

“Hope, too, is meaningless and you know it,” Kamukura said. Kamukura slips off the desk and he strides forward, reaching out to touch Komaeda’s cheek. “There is no point. No meaning. Not now. Nor will there ever be.”

“Hope is eternal,” Komaeda cooed, squeezing him. “Hope is infinite. Hope is…”

“…ut…”

“It’s nothing,” Kamukura said. “It’s null. It’s void. It is…”

“Shut  _UP_!!!”

Finally, Hinata found his voice.

“Just shut the hell  ** _UP_**!!!”

And everything immediately went dark.

 

**Vampire/werewolf AU (take 2)**

 

In the end, Kamukura let the wolf sleep in bed with them. Something about keeping a closer eye on him. Something about caution. Something about Kamukura obviously wanting to cuddle up to the excessive floof. That, Hinata completely understood.

And now…there was a naked man in their bed, tucked between them. But it was a naked man with fluffy white hair, so Kamukura hardly seemed perturbed. Hinata, meanwhile, was at least a little taken aback.

In part because of the nudity but also… This guy was lanky and thin, and he hardly seemed bothered about the situation. If anything, he was smiling cheerfully if a bit sheepishly.

“I would like to thank you both for your hospitality,” he was saying, “To welcome even an impertinent mutt like me into your home really was so kind. Aha. I’m sorry that I shed all over your bed.”

“Izuru carried you into the house,” Hinata pointed out. “And to the bed. So, uh… You’re…fine…?”

_He’s pretty. Why the fuck is he so pretty? I thought werewolves were ugly!_

“Still! I apologize for such audacity!” He laughed, showing off pearly white teeth. They weren’t even yellow. “I guess it’s true that vampires have wonderful house manners.”

“You are not afraid of us,” Kamukura murmurs, still playing with the wild white strands. “Even though we are vampires. Then again, even as a dog, you weren’t snarling.”

“I know what vampires are and that they’re fearsome, but you both are so kind so I’m not afraid. Ah.” Another laugh. “Aha. Sorry, sorry. How terribly rude of me. I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Komaeda Nagito. It’s nice to meet you.”

Hinata nodded, swallowing. “Uh… Hinata… Hajime.”

“Kamukura Izuru,” Kamukura murmured smoothly.

“Hinata-kun, Kamukura-kun…” Komaeda grinned. “Thank you so much for the hospitality! Um… You don’t even need to give me clothes. I can just get going.”

Hinata flinched. “W… Wa…”

Kamukura pulled Komaeda in, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist and squeezing.

“Do allow us to treat you,” he says, nuzzling Komaeda’s neck. “Hospitality is very important to vampires after all.”

“Y-Yeah… It is…” Captivated, Hinata couldn’t help but reach out to cup Komaeda’s delicate cheek, taking in the moon-gray color of those fascinating eyes. “So don’t worry about it. Stay a while. For a dog, you don’t even smell all that bad.”

“Oh, I… Um…” Komaeda’s cheeks flushed beautifully. “O-Okay, then.”

Both vampires couldn’t help but hiss softly, pleased with the sight.


	31. KamuKoma - Firsts, Complications, and Captivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four ficlets. The first is short fluff, the middle two are somewhat despair-focused, and the last one is vampire AU. Largely SFW but with some heavier and darker themes. References to dr0 because why not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like this ship. I don't get much requests with them, unfortunately. But here's what I got for now. Please enjoy.

**First Kiss**

 

The first brush of contact is hesitant and gentle. Komaeda is shivering as he leans in, and he does not relax even as Kamukura cups his cheek, brushing back his hair and tucking the ivory strands behind his ear.

“A-Ah… Ah…”

Komaeda’s breath hitches as he pulls away, swallowing. His gaze lowers, uncertain and insecure.

“…um…”

Kamukura’s thumb traces his lips, tugging at the lower when Komaeda starts to bite at him.

“…that was different,” Komaeda mutters finally, quietly, cheeks pinking. “It’s…very different. I, um, I never…”

“I know.” Kamukura’s tone is low. Flat. Komaeda’s lips twist into a smile. He snorts.

“It probably wasn’t anything to you,” Komaeda said, and he moved to shift out of Kamukura’s lap. His hands are clammy and cold. “But I am grateful all the same. Thank you for humoring me.”

Kamukura’s fingers close around his wrist. The grip is light, but Komaeda knows that steel chains would break sooner.

“Nagito.”

Kamukura kisses him again, nipping lightly at his lower lip and earning a light gasp. Before he can even register it, the kiss is deepened and his eyes go wide.

“M-Mm…!”

He shivers, and then, he melts into the contact, sighing. Kamukura pulls away, leaving him drooling and flushed. Without missing a beat, Kamukura wipes away the line of saliva.

“The sensation experienced varies with intensity. That felt very different, didn’t it?”

“Y… Yeah…” Komaeda touches his lips, awestruck and heart pounding. “It did…”

 

**Heartache**

 

“It’s a good thing that this classroom is still largely in one piece, isn’t it?” Komaeda giggles as he sets up the vase, rearranging the flowers as he does. Wind, blowing from where the wall had collapsed, ruffles the petals along with his hair. “There’s a beauty to its destroyed state, don’t you think?”

He doesn’t really think about anything, even as Komaeda looks at him expectantly, brightness of the smile touched by orange sunlight.

“…Kamukura-kun,” Komaeda says. “I’m surprised you agreed to accompany me here. Do you even know what classroom this is? The sign was broken, so…”

“3-A. The class opposite of yours.” Kamukura brushes his hair back, tucking long ebony strands behind his ear. “Yes. I am aware of who you came to mourn.”

“…did you know him?” Komaeda asks, quieter and yet with an unchanging light-hearted tone of voice. “Even if it was only briefly?”

“Yes. I did.”

And then, Kamukura places a flower on another desk.

“…this person tried to stop the first killing game. He would have succeeded if not for that girl.”

“Eh? Whose desk is that?”

“It does not matter,” Kamukura said. “I was only acting in accordance to being polite.”

“That’s strange, for you,” Komaeda pointed out. “Did that person leave that big of an impression?”

“…not particularly.” He remembers the one who did leave at least a mildly significant impression, but it would be boring to mourn that one. He is really only placing flowers because…

Kamukura’s gaze flickers to the vase. Komaeda had turned back to it, staring with downcast eyes and a calm smile.

Kamukura inhales softly as Komaeda squeezes his eyes tightly, and that calm smile wavers.

“…come, Komaeda Nagito.”

Komaeda snaps to attention, back to calm smiles and vacant eyes.

“We should get going.”

“Right!”

 

**Love/Hate Relationships**

 

“I hate you. I really, really hate you.”

“Yes.”

“You’re cold and rude! And apathetic! It’s beyond frustrating! I hate how you act like the world’s so inferior when you’re nothing more than a faulty experiment born of hubris! I hate so much about you!”

“You have told me as much.”

“How boring. So boring. That’s what you’re thinking, right?  _Right_?!”

“…”

Komaeda scowled at him, twisting onto his side and blowing his nose on the napkins set out. He rubs his nose irritably, eyes shimmering and lips trembling. Under Kamukura’s boring stare, he only seemed to get more miserable.

“If only you didn’t exist,” he murmurs softly. “None of this would’ve happened if you just didn’t exist.”

“I am not to blame for that,” Kamukura pointed out simply. “You are aware of this, Komaeda Nagito.”

“I am!” Komaeda snapped before faltering, body going limp. “I really, really hate you, but I know it’s not your fault that you exist. A lot of other things are your fault, though.”

He’s mumbling the words, and they lack the usual fire. It is expectable. With how sickly and exhausted Komaeda currently is, this is expectable.

_Komaeda Nagito’s body has its limits even when his spirit does not._

It’s so…typical. Of an incorrigible human.

Komaeda coughs.

“…it’s in part because you did nothing that everything went so wrong… You could have stopped this.” He’s quiet for a while. “Maybe that’s for the better. What hope could possibly come from a hollow shell like  _you_?”

“…”

“I really hate you,” Komaeda said. “I wish you didn’t exist. I wish you did something. But it’s worthless. Hopeless. To keep dwelling on such matters. But it’s strange… Why do you stick around me, anyway, Kamukura-kun?”

“There is no particular reason,” he answers.

Komaeda laughs.

“What? Do you _like_ me? Gross. If I was liked by someone like you, I’d be so disgusted that I could just die.” He coughs. “Ah. Aha. Disgusted with myself, that is.”

He sneezes.

“The longer you are awake,” Kamukura said. “The longer you will remain sick.”

“Mmm…” Komaeda sighed. His eyelashes are fluttering. “Kay… Okay. I… Goodnight.”

He falls asleep shortly after that.

He sleeps easily and peacefully, in direct contrast to his earlier behavior. He snuffles a bit. Ever silently, Kamukura merely strokes his hair as he shivers.

_…so typical, indeed…_

 

**Vampire AU**

 

It wouldn’t have been hard for Kamukura Izuru to crush his throat with just his fingertips. With that in mind, he couldn’t help but tremble.

**_Be still._ **

Even after he stilled, he could hear heart hammering so loudly that it was deafening.

“You really are scared,” Kamukura murmurs, fingers threading through his hair. “Even though you were the one who stumbled into my den. Such a curious little rabbit you are, Komaeda Nagito.”

Ah. So Kamukura Izuru already knew his name.

“You dropped your ID,” Kamukura said, unimpressed. “I assure you I cannot mindread. Your thoughts are merely apparent in your gaze. How boring.”

And yet, he leans in, brushing his lips against that pale neck.

Komaeda couldn’t even breathe irregularly, and it was dizzying.

“You have an interesting scent, even if you yourself are so boring.” Komaeda can’t even shiver at the cold tongue running up his throat. He can only lay there, docile even as there are two sharp fangs that sink so very painfully into his skin. He can only inhale and sigh as Kamukura drinks his very life force.

“A _ah_ …” An embarrassing sound escapes his own lips, and Komaeda feels his face warm and his mind spin. A shiver goes down his spine, and it’s through a tearful, glimmering gaze that he can see sparkles in the floating dust that had caught fragments of light. Kamukura strokes sternum as if to sway his beating heart, and Komaeda purrs. “K..amu…ku…”

Kamukura licks the mark left behind, sealing the wound before pulling away. Komaeda slumps, nothing more than a doll that Kamukura cradles in his grasp.

“I think I’ll keep you.”

Komaeda’s very body is tingling so pleasantly. Yet, those words remain so frightfully cold that a very chill settles within his bones.


	32. KomaHina - Pulsing Heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three ficlets, each with a thump-thump-thump. Very loosely connected, lol.
> 
> Warnings for blood and injuries. Third takes place in an (abandoned) hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only the third one is appropriately spoopy. Well, whatever. I still like it, though. The first two meanwhile are just...cute. Very cute.
> 
> I think Komaeda is cute in general, so I think all these ficlets are cute.
> 
> Yep.
> 
> I sure do.

**fireworks**

 

It had been quiet out, and way less noisy over here. As much as he’s sure his friends will whine at him later, he’s perfectly alright with ditching them in favor of silence. It’s less suffocating, too.

_It’s fine. Perfectly fine._

And then he trips, and smacks his face onto a rock, earning a yelp and a gasp.

“O-Oh, my!”

He’s pretty sure he was bleeding, but he supposes he should be glad that he didn’t get a black eye or chip his tooth.  _Still.._

Hinata hisses as he touches the scrap, and sure enough, his fingers seem to come back with something slick and dark.

_It’s hard to see, but…_

Bright light shines in his face, earning a flinch.

“Oh, that does look bad. Here, ah, let me…”

At that moment, the fireworks went off, illuminating the other’s face. And Hinata was left breathless on the spot, mesmerized by a pale moon gaze on a soft, worried face.

He winces as ointment is rubbed onto his injury, biting his tongue and mercifully getting muffled by the crackling above.

“Aha, it’s a good thing I always carry these around… Although I really am sorry about all this.” Humming, the other sticks a bandage over his jaw. “There we are. Is this better?”

“I-I…” It’s throbbing. And his heart is pounding. “I’m… I’m fine… Um…”

“I should get going so that I don’t cause more trouble.” With that, he bows. It’s then Hinata notices the school ring on his finger, and if possible, his heart jumped at the sight. “Have a nice night. Enjoy the rest of the show.”

“I… Okay. S-See ya…”

The other perks, and laughs.

“For your sake, I’d hope not!”

Just like that, the other walked off, all while the colors of the fireworks caught in that silvery hair. Hinata could only continue to stare, mouth agape as he touched his bandaged jaw.

_…what the hell just happened?_

 

**heartbeat**

 

_His armpit stinks. He snores. He’s too hot. It’s hard to sleep. He’s drooling in my hair._

And he’s tried multiple times to squirm away, but Hinata’s grip on him would only tighten. And sometimes, that embrace would be as crushing as it was suffocating.

_Aha. I could die like this. That wouldn’t be any good._

“Mm…”

As if to make matters worse, Hinata’s leg was hitching itself around his hip. Komaeda wondered if this was how a body pillow felt.

“M-Mmph…!”

_I really could die like this!_

Unfortunately, Hinata Hajime slept like the dead, unresponsive to punches, shoves, and even a desperate tickle attempt. And so, Komaeda was forced to lie there. And suffer.

And sweat. Because of how hot it was.

_Maybe I’ll pass out from heat exhaustion. That could work._

Komaeda sighs, accepting his fate and resting back against Hinata’s bare chest. He’s careful to turn away so that the smell isn’t too bad.

There’s a loud, steady thump against his ear.

_…his heartbeat…_

Hinata mumbles something incoherent, nibbling on his hair. Komaeda tolerated it.

_Hinata-kun’s heartbeat…is comforting._

Hinata squeezes him briefly. In return, Komaeda squeezes back.

_Please don’t stop._

 

**Abandoned Hospital**

 

There was a low buzz from the dull, broken lights overhead. It really was eerily quiet. There was a low, musty smell, but also something sterile. And then Komaeda trips and cuts his leg on the shattered glass.

“A-Ack, Komaeda…!”

“Sorry, Hinata-kun…! I’m still feeling a bit woozy after all…” Komaeda laughs cheerfully as if blood doesn’t drip from his leg, as if the stench doesn’t permeate the hall. Hinata swallowed but quickly helped him into one of the closest rooms, Komaeda trailing blood on the tiles as he did.

“It’s a good thing this happened in a hospital,” Komaeda chirps. “There’s probably gauze in one of the cabinets, right?”

“T-That doesn’t make getting injured a good thing…”

Komaeda giggles without a care as Hinata fetches some gauze and cleans off the cut best he can. It doesn’t look deep but…there’s a lot of blood, and that mixed in with the setting really makes Hinata feel light-headed.

_This is just all too creepy for my own good… Especially when Komaeda’s still dressed in hospital robes._

“I really do wonder where everyone went,” Komaeda ponders as Hinata dresses his wound. “It really is so strange… It’s like I was asleep for years rather than what felt like a few hours…”

“And you really don’t remember anything?” Hinata asked warily.

“Nope!”

Komaeda grins, and he’s as incomprehensible as ever.

_…that said. I don’t remember anything either. I still have no idea how I ended up here in the first place._

Hinata sighed, pinning the gauze in place.

“There we go. Please take it easy from now on, alright, Komaeda?”

“You really are like a knight in shining armor, Hinata-kun!”

“Wha–be  _serious_!”

“Uwah, sorry, sorry!”

Komaeda laughed again, not looking sorry at all. Grimacing with flushed cheeks, Hinata could only force himself forward even if he stumbled.

“I should probably support you so that you don’t fall again,” he mutters, offering the other his arm to cling onto. “Don’t make it weird. It’s just common courtesy.”

“I haven’t been shown that very often,” Komaeda said. “It’s weird.”

_…just how isolated a life did this guy lead…?_

Well, considering how often Komaeda had been sick… It wasn’t surprising. But to be honest, there was a sort of captivating innocence to Komaeda’s doe-eyed gaze and serene smile. Perhaps that was because Komaeda was the only person he could turn to in a time like this.

_I need to stop thinking weird things._

Komaeda grunted a little as Hinata stood. Komaeda pulled back on him, but it was hardly with much force. Komaeda seemed to be remarkably light, despite being the same height.

_Even though I’m glad I’m not alone… I really am stuck with such a worrying person…_

“Easy, easy.”

“Sorry, Hinata-kun.”

This time, Komaeda sounded a little more sincere. Smiling wryly, Hinata shook his head.

“It’s not your fault. Come on. We’ll find a way out.”

“Okay…”

It still was cold and largely quiet, but having Komaeda pressed so close with his steady breathing and pounding heartbeat… That alleviated things at least a little.


	33. KamuKomaHina - Breathing, Talking, and Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SUPER NSFW FOR FIRST FICLET. Second is more discussing nsfw stuff. Third is just some cute semi-angsty twins au stuff. Mentions of medical complications and scars. That's about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is dumb. Sorry. But I like these ficlets quite a bit. Steamy and a little sad, but also cute. They're fairly recent, too, and I've been reading a bunch of my old stuff so maybe that's also why, lol.
> 
> Uh... Happy Thanksgiving... I guess.

**Breathplay**

 

Komaeda was suffocating and everything was burning. Especially from where he was tucked between two scorching bodies and even the swaths of skin where he wasn’t being pressed into were subjected to hot hands and hotter mouths.

When he wasn’t being kissed, his mouth was being covered by exceedingly well-manicured nails, muffling his mewls and soft yelp when the other, clumsier, bitten-down nails would catch on his skin. And Hinata would groan loudly, causing his ears to ring while Kamukura kissed his jaw, cheek, and temple.

“You’re still with us, right Nagito?”

Hinata’s voice is gruff, likely from how vocal he’s been on Komaeda’s lap. Despite that Hinata touches his cheek tenderly.

“You seem a bit out of it. All flushed.”

“The result of body heat,” Kamukura supplied helpfully before squeezing Komaeda’s hips, grinding against his rump. Komaeda shuddered, mind spinning at the idea of taking that inside. Kamukura’s tongue clicked. “Among other things.”

“He’s fragile,” Hinata bit out. “We have to be careful with him.”

“I…” Komaeda swallowed. “I-I’m not… I-I can take it…”

Hinata frowned as Kamukura hummed. “Are you sure?”

“O-Of course… Of course, I…”

Truth be told, Komaeda can’t really be bothered to think about anything right now. His groin has been burning so furiously, not helped by Hinata presence and motions on his lap. All he really wants in that moment is to either relieve that heat or be consumed by it.

“The sensations are addictive, aren’t they,” Kamukura murmurs against his ear. His hand presses over Komaeda’s neck. “Would you like to be completely overwhelmed, Nagito?”

“Y-Ye…s…”

Hinata’s breath caught and he straddles Komaeda more seriously.

“J-Just because you said yes,” he said. “Izuru don’t… Don’t hurt him while he’s inside, alright?”

_Ah… Inside…_

“I know very well how to not break Nagito’s hips, Hajime. I will rut into him gently.”

**_R-Rut…!_ **

Before Komaeda could vocalize anything, Kamukura squeezed his neck, making it so that he really couldn’t breathe before he was shoved under.

His spine arched, he gasped out, and then, he was suffocated by nothing more than sensation.

“A-Ah, Izuru…! Don’t hurt him!”

“I will not. Trust me for once.”

_Ohhh… I could die like this…_

 

**Gags / silence.**

 

It really was quite the contrast, how noisy his two lovers were while he himself was largely quiet.

It was something even Nagito had laughed about, tracing his lips all the while.

“A gag is useful for Hinata-kun, but it wouldn’t make a difference for you, would it? Kamukura-kun?”

“The appearance would be different.”

“Oh, that’s true!” Nagito nuzzles his neck. “Maybe we should go for it after all.”

Of course, Hajime had commented on it as well. Well, he complained.

“It really isn’t fair,” he griped. “I make all kinds of embarrassing squealing noises that Nagito makes fun of me for while you hardly utter a peep even when fucked. Can’t you even things out a little?”

“You tease Nagito over the noises he makes.”

“T-That’s beside the point! I’m just saying that you should have embarrassing moments as well!”

“…”

“Urgh. Never mind.”

At times, he wondered if he should fake it. Would that make things better? Would his lovers appreciate it?

_Certainly not. They’re both so soft-hearted that they’d be upset by the deception._

Still, he wondered, especially after a session in which they were all cuddled up. Nagito was nestled into his side, Hajime spooning him despite a hand gripping Izuru’s own.

Izuru squeezes that hand, silently nuzzling Nagito’s hair.

Hajime is snoring. Nagito snuffles. Even while sleeping, the two of them are anything but quiet. Unlike him.

_I…_

He even sighs quietly.

_What am I to do…?_

 

**Scars**

 

“Ah, Hinata-kun, it looks like a crescent.”

“A-Ah, h-hey! Stop, that’s ticklish!”

Hinata was flushed as he shoved Komaeda’s hand away, yanking his shirt down so that the scar was covered. Komaeda hummed curiously, tapping his lips thoughtfully.

“How did that happen? Climbing another tree?” Teasingly, he poked Hinata’s arm where such scars resided. “So daring, Hinata-kun…”

“N-No, it’s…”

“It’s from infancy.”

“Oh, Kamukura-kun.”

Hinata flinched at his brother’s arrival but Komaeda was warm and welcoming as always. Kamukura, as always, was unaffected as Komaeda cheerfully waved in his direction. Instead his gaze was on Hinata, and Hinata couldn’t help but duck his head.

“Our mother had…complications during birth. There had to have been an emergency surgery.” Kamukura’s voice lowered. “She and Hajime nearly died that day.”

“Is that so?” Komaeda barely seemed perturbed. “Ah, Hinata-kun! We really are similar! My mother had difficulty as well…”

“It is not the same, Komaeda Nagito,” Kamukura said sharply. “That disastrous birth was a chain reaction caused by the first child.”

“Oi, Izuru,” Hinata cut in. “It was a long time ago and we’re both alright, so… There’s no need to be so serious about it.”

Kamukura redirected his gaze to nowhere in particular and said nothing. Komaeda looked between them, frowning and pondering.

“Well,” he said, clapping his hands with a laugh. “I’m glad you both are here, all the same! Scars and all! Oh, Kamukura-kun, do you have any scars?!”

“They are not ones you would like to see, Komaeda Nagito.”

“I can show you mine if you want! Look! This one I got from falling on a curling iron!”

“…this is recent.”

“Haha, yeah. It’s also why I wasn’t in class the other day.”

“I see.”

“Please,” Hinata said. “Be more careful, Komaeda.”

_After all._

Hinata’s lips twisted with conflicted feelings as he took in the sight of Kamukura observing Komaeda’s marred skin, his gaze strangely pensive.

_You’re pretty much the only thing keeping us all together at this point._


	34. KamuKoma - Captivity and Captivate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SFW?
> 
> First ficlet includes imprisonment and vampire!Izuru (a possible followup to the last ficlet in Chapter 31?)  
> Second ficlet is yandere!Kamukura, includes mentions of stalking and...well, obsession. Self-explanatory.  
> Third ficlet is... I guuuuess Darker!Kamukura manipulating Komaeda into despair? Not sure how to explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are all darker without being smutty so I just mashed them together. I seem to really like writing darker KamuKoma. It's good stuff. Yep. I definitely enjoy it.
> 
> For the last ficlet the prompt was "Kamukura doing to Komaeda what Junko did to Mikan" and... I wasn't sure what that meant. Mikan said that her beloved "accepted and forgave" her so I went with that instead of...yeah.
> 
> I haven't been getting a lot of comments lately and it's, um, really despairing. ;v;

**biting and/or marking**

 

“You really are quite fussy, sometimes.”

“It’s inevitable,” Komaeda Nagito says with a laugh. “Anyone would struggle against a vampire feeding from them.”

“Not everyone,” Kamukura replies coolly, watching dully as Komaeda seems fascinated with the frosted ice on the windows, the satin of the curtains.

_He struggles…but he is not terribly afraid of being trapped here._

Curious. What a curious creature.

Kamukura’s gaze flickers to the bite mark on Komaeda’s neck, a dark, deep mar, contrasting the fairness of his skin.

“It’s a beautiful castle,” Komaeda says suddenly. “I suppose it’s good luck, then, to be taken by you. I had just lost my own home, you see…”

“I see.”

Kamukura brushes his hair back, trailing his nails down and running his thumb over the mark.

“You will stay here,” he said lowly. “You are mine now, after all.”

“I guess that mark’s a sign of ownership?” Komaeda asks, smile crooked.

“…it is.”

He laughs again, the sound like dented bells.

“Well. Alright. I can accept that, too.” A twist of soft lips. “Even though you sicken me beyond belief.”

Kamukura grips his hair before pulling him in and scrapping his teeth against the other’s neck. Komaeda jerks and jumps, but Kamukura easily holds him still as he sips the beading blood from the light graze.

“All the same,” he murmurs before closing his mouth around the mark and sucking.

 

**Obsession Take 2**

 

Today, Komaeda Nagito seems to be enamored with a bird. He is feeding it bird seed, cooing as it picks at his hand. The bird is docile, hopping onto his hand, to Komaeda Nagito’s abject delight.

_Komaeda Nagito is happy._

He does not see Komaeda Nagito happy very often.

The bird flies off, and Komaeda Nagito watches it wistfully.

“…beautiful. Absolutely…”

“Beautiful, is it?”

Komaeda Nagito’s shoulders stiffened.

“Ah…” His gaze becomes guarded, smile straining. “Kamukura-kun. Still not bored of stalking me, I see. If I give you my half-eaten food, will you leave me alone for a while?”

Tempting offer. But he has no need for it.

“You always eat alone,” Kamukura said. “Is that why you are so fond of the birds?”

“Eh? I’m fond because I like them, although…” Komaeda trails off, brushing back his hair. “I suppose I am a little lonely. After all, the only person willing to put up with me is you, and you’re…mm.”

“This is fine by me,” Kamukura said. “I do not have to share your attention, after all.” His lashes and voice both lower. “I find that occupying such a significant portion of your life is rather captivating. Much like how I find you yourself captivating.”

“Gross… What a gross way of thinking. You know I don’t really  _like_  you, right?”

“I do not expect to be liked. So that is alright. I am well aware that this is nothing more than pure indulgence on my part.” A pause. “You are not entirely opposed to my presence, however. Is that not because of your loneliness, Komaeda Nagito?”

Komaeda flinched and wrapped his arms tightly around himself.

“If you wish to indulge in another person’s presence, I of course, do not mind,” Kamukura said. “Actually, if you wish to pretend with me, I do not mind. Acting is one of my talents, Komaeda Nagito. I know you desire friends. I do not mind playing that role. Would you like to go further than that? I do not mind.”

“Stop.” Komaeda’s nails dug into his arms, biting into his sleeves. “H-Hey, Kamukura-kun, you’re going too far… It’s cruel…”

“That is not my intention. I was merely offering suggestions.”

“Intention or not, those words are hurtful,” Komaeda murmured. “Even if I feel sorry for you, there’s only so much I can take.”

_…feel sorry for me?_

“What…do you mean?”

“I mean I would like for you to shut up,” he snapped.

“No… No, that is not what I…”

“Please,” Komaeda begged. “Just shut up, Kamukura-kun, if you’re not going to leave.”

Kamukura’s mouth closed.

_He feels sorry for me. This feeling…_

**_Interesting._ **

 

**Acceptance**

 

  
“Of course I’m well aware of the kind of useless worthless person I am…! I can’t help it! Worth is something inherent, after all. The best I can do… The only thing I  _can_  do is try to assist those with that worth. To support and strengthen their resolves.”

“Mm.”

“If that can work out, if I can assist in someone achieving and radiating hope, I… That would be more than enough for me.”

“…”

“But everything I’ve done and tried to do to help…just doesn’t go right. It’s my own fault for being so incompetent in both my words and actions. I’m trash. Absolute trash. Refuse like me deserves no better, no less.”

“…”

“I understand that, I do…! If it bands everyone together, I’m perfectly fine with being the villain, but…! I don’t wish to misdirect their focus. So what should I do? How can I convey these feelings so clearly? I don’t know–but I have to keep trying…!”

“…Nagito.”

“I have to… I have to… I… I do… I… I just…”

“Nagito.”

“I’m just so  _frustrated_ …!”

“I understand.”

Komaeda stiffens, hands gripping his knees as his shoulders hunched forward just a little more. The being before him stood with prominence and presence. So much so that even comforting words were almost terrifying with their weight.

_Just like that…the words spilled out… This person really is…incredible…_

“…I-I…” His mouth felt so dry, throat itching unpleasantly. And yet, the words still flowed. “I understand…why everyone feels the way they do… It’s my own fault and yet I’m just…so frustrated. What can I do? How much  _more_  do I have to do? I’m so frustrated I could scream…”

“You resent them,” the other states coolly. “That is clear.”

“I-I…” His throat closes before he can deny it. When his voice returns, it’s so quiet and he can’t quite believe that he’s the one saying it. “I do. I really do. I’m sick and tired of it. Of being misinterpreted. Mistreated. Miserable…! I just want to die already…! I just want everyone to quit  _wasting_  my time!”

_No… **No** …_

“It’s alright.” The other kneels before them, and just that alone is enough to get Komaeda’s eyes flooding with tears of joy. “I understand. So that is the situation…”

He still can’t speak, not under that piercing crimson gaze, and he stiffens even more when cold knuckles brush against his cheek.

“What a pitiful thing you are. But I do not mind. You are no worse nor any better than your peers.”

“I… I-I…” Shivering, he ends up pressing into that touch, eyelashes fluttering, eyes stinging. “U-Uu…”

“You want so badly to find a use for your useless existence,” the other murmurs. “Pitiful, but understandable. You need not feel such shame over it.”

_Need not…?_

“All that said.” Those hands cup his face. Cold, and yet, strong. Just like that, he could be crushed so easily, and yet, he found himself captivated. “You could find gratification in much simpler ways. For example, I may find a use for you.”

“…do you really…mean that?”

The kiss is startling, and Komaeda’s brain almost short circuits.

“Rather than give yourself to an unyielding world, allow yourself to be accepted by myself instead, Komaeda.  _Nagito_.”

“I…” He grips those wrists almost desperately. “O-Okay… Okay… Izuru-kun…”

 


	35. KamuKoma - Some Steamy, Some Sexy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three Ficlets. Definitely NSFW. Yep.
> 
> First one is kissing, second is talking about sex, and third is ass play. Yeah. That's pretty much all you really need to know. Of the three, probably only the second is AU-ish but you can't really tell and it doesn't actually matter. This is the steamy stuff for the most part. Yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah these sure are what they are. They actually are on the smuttier (?) side. I like writing smutty stuff. I should write more smutty stuff. I've been in a mood, too.

**extensive, prolonged** **makeouts**

 

Nagito could not hold his breath for very long, it turned out.

“P-Pwah…”

When he pulled away, Nagito’s face was flushed. Nagito was panting, his lips swollen.

“I… Izuru-kun..”

He allows Nagito to catch his breath, running his thumb over Nagito’s lower lip in the meantime, and feeling him shiver in his arms. Tears brim from Nagito’s eyes, his gaze watery. Almost dazed. As if he really had come from the brink of suffocation.

He wipes those tears away, sipping them from his fingertips, tasting the saline content. Nagito’s physical makeup. He could describe each chemical compound if he so wished.

Nagito weakly tugs at his tie, whining at him. Needy. Dazed. Mental state fogged over from the rush of endorphins. Other chemicals. Thrumming.

Kamukura once again kisses him. Fingers thread through Nagito’s hair. Fragile, silvery strands, Weak roots. The red-brown long since faded.

His tongue presses through the swollen seam, wrapping around Nagito’s own. Nagito’s moan is muffled. He shivers. Kamukura presses him close enough to crush. In a metaphorical sense. He does not wish to snap such fragile bones. Such a weak, vulnerable body, writhing in his lap.

He re-familiarizes himself with Nagito’s gums, teeth, and the inside of his cheeks. Scars. Nagito bites them far too often. Perhaps more kissing will kill the habit. Unlikely. Still a viable experiment. Beneficial.

He knows he’s selfish. Can’t be helped. Nagito is soft, warm, and willing. Willing to be kissed, willing to be his.

He can’t help but cling, coaxing Nagito’s tongue so that he could suck on it. Eyes open. Nagito is going to faint at this rate. Kissing an unconscious person, even if it is Nagito, will not be as stimulating.

Still, he pushes it, fingers stroking Nagito’s spine as sensations likely flood his veins. Trembling all over. Nagito is still weakly tugging him closer.

Nagito is cute. So cute.

“Pwah… Hah…”

Nagito’s head lolls into his shoulder, mind likely racing. Heart pounding. He can feel that. Nagito’s heartbeat. His blood pressure.

_…I still want to keep kissing him._

Patience. Control. Comforting. Stroking Nagito’s hair and back, cooing reassuring words and sweet nothings. Making Nagito smile. Delicate curvature. He wants to taste that, even though he knows the taste will be largely the same. But just a little significantly different. Significantly.

“You’re too much,” Nagito murmurs, voice hoarse as he buries his face into Kamukura’s shoulder. No more kissing, then. Nagito is trying to regulate his breathing, relaxing into his embrace.

This is fine, too.

 

**being shy about sex**

 

“Intercourse is natural. A natural course of escalation born from desire, intimacy, and procreation.”

“Aha… Procreation isn’t really a factor here…”

“Correct. We are both sterile.” Kamukura paused. “Does that disappoint you, Nagito?”

Komaeda shakes his head, cheeks darkening.

“S-Someone like me, um, shouldn’t even think about that…for the sake of future generations… Yeah.”

Komaeda was not looking at him, even as he keeps his hands on his knees. His sitting posture is not as perfect as Kamukura’s, of course, but it is a decent attempt. Komaeda does not even seem terribly uncomfortable.

_Uncomfortable…_

“If we were to have sex, the motivation would be to express intimacy and to experience pleasure…or perhaps to vent out sexual frustrations.” He clicks his tongue. “Of which you are happy to oblige if that were my motivation.”

Komaeda nods.

“That’s true, although…” His smile twists. “I don’t expect you to really…explain all that in detail, Kamukura-kun. In fact, you started talking about it pretty sporadically…”

“…I was thinking about it.”

“Is that…so…” Komaeda finally gives him a look. “Here I thought you wouldn’t busy yourself with such base concerns. Um. When I said that, I also told you to…not worry about it, remember? I have no filter, and poor impulse control, a-and Souda-kun had been talking about it…” His hands shake as he grips his knees. “So it just…came to mind… And I said it. Ahahaha, s-sorry…”

“It is nothing to apologize for,” Kamukura said. “I was merely…” A pause. “Merely considering even if you told me not to. Apologies, I suppose, for disobedience.”

“…are you embarrassed? D-Did my worthless, disgusting comment embarrass you?!”

Kamukura would immediately shoot that down, but the words, for whatever reason did not come.

Komaeda squealed.

“I-I did, I did! O-Oh…! Oh, wow…!”

“You are being too noisy, Komaeda Nagito…”

_…would you be that noisy even in…?_

Ah. How strange.

_…this sensation of rising heat…_

 

**coming from ass play only**

 

“You’re quite demanding, you know that?”

“It is because of this body,” Kamukura’s arms lazily loop around his neck. “The expectable result for extreme durability. Base pleasure is tedious to chase. So boring. It has always been easier to have someone else and you said you would do anything, Komaeda Nagito.”

“I did say that, but… Aha, I never could’ve imagined the great Kamukura Izuru requesting such…services… Not that I really mind all that much.”

It really was something else having Kamukura Izuru, half-naked in his lap, open to his every caress and brush of contact. His body was warm, the sinew firm and hard. Truly beautiful, putting even the most stunning of sculptures to shame.

_Someone like me allowed to touch him…_

“Bored.” Kamukura was unimpressed and dull-eyed. “So boring. You are hesitating too much. Should I go elsewhere, then?”

“B-Be a little more patient, Kamukura-kun…!”

_And yet his personality is just…!_

The expectable result of extensive brain surgery, Komaeda supposed sardonically. 

“Mm…” He sucks on his fingers to slick them up. Kamukura blinks at him, still dispassionate.

“There is no need for that. Nothing will tear regardless of how rough you are. You have zero capacity to hurt me, Komaeda Nagito.”

“Mm… It’s for reasons other than that… Goodness, so childish. So impatient. And you’re supposed to be a god.” Komaeda laughs at the idea, but reaches around to press his fingers inside. “Well, mm, you certainly are irritable and demanding. No restraint. You would not be out of place in the pantheon, Kamukura-kun.”

“Hn.” Kamukura presses back against his fingers. Again with that dispassionate face, while Komaeda’s heart is pounding at the clenching heat.

_Still…requesting something like this…! It’s still beyond baffling…!_

He sucks in his breath, angling his fingers, thrusting them in and out. Kamukura sighs as he spreads, stretching out his rectum. Kamukura is relaxed against him, content to be pampered, and he’s clearly getting pleasure from it if his erection is any indication.

_And what an impressive weapon to wield that is…!_

“Kamukura-kun…” Komaeda hums, and then searches for a certain bundle of nerves. With his fortune, he finds it quickly and strikes without hesitation. Kamukura’s entirety stiffens, and he grips on Komaeda tighter than any prison would hold.

Well, he was trapped from the start anyway the moment Kamukura Izuru met his gaze.

“So needy, so demanding, so willing, so shameless… Kamukura-kun…”

His wrist aches, but he doesn’t let up, relishing in Kamukura tightening around him, and then…

“Come for me, Kamukura-kun.”

When Kamukura falls over the edge, he drags Komaeda down with him.


	36. KamuKomaHina - Twins + Childhood Friends AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's relationship with his brother is complicated, to say the least, and it is made more so when he reconnects with their old childhood friend and his first real crush. A verse in three snippets. SFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This AU came from various headcanons I was getting sent and is pretty much my own creation but like, I'm really attached to it. All this time and I still eat up brother complexes like candy, lol. The focus is more on the brothers for that reason but yeah Komaeda is definitely there.
> 
> This verse was fun to write. I would very much like to continue it~~

**Photos**

 

“You really haven’t changed at all, Hajime-kun. You still have the same silly hairstyle, haha!”

“I-I don’t have any baby fat, at least…!”

Komaeda giggles as the other flusters, and he flips through the album, lighting up when he sees the pictures.

“Uwah! And Izuru-kun was so cute!”

“He’s not even trying to smile in most of them,” Hinata remarks. “Yeah, he hasn’t changed, either.”

“I haven’t seen him,” Komaeda says. “Is he doing well, Hajime-kun?”

“…he’s a prodigy, Komaeda. He excels at everything he does.”

“You sound a bit bitter. That’s probably not good, Hajime-kun.”

Hinata sighed.

“It’s… We’re still close. He’s a lot easier to live with than Souda was, that’s for damn sure.”  _Although I do wish I didn’t have to live with him. It’s so pathetic to cling to my little brother’s coattails._  “He’d…probably like seeing you again.”

“Izuru-kun was always so quiet,” Komaeda murmurs. “I don’t really think he much liked me. Whenever we played together, he was glued to your side. It must be really nice, having someone who loves you so unconditionally and always wants to be with you.”

Hinata huffed at that.

_It’s just because I’m easier. More familiar. But he was seriously clingy. He’s still…weird._

“Ahhh, his hair’s so messy in some of these…! You can barely see his eyes!” Komaeda whines a little. “Has he at least tidied up?! You’re at the age where professionalism is very important, Hajime-kun!”

“I…yeah he ties his hair back sometimes… But it gives him headaches so he doesn’t do it all the time.”  _In fact he undoes it as soon as he walks through the door._  “But…in regards to that hair…”

“Is it still long?” Komaeda asked cheerfully. “I can’t imagine Izuru-kun with short hair like yours, ehe.”

“Long…is an understatement.”

“Eh?”

With that the door opened.

“Hajime. Home.”

“Oiiiii, Izuru.” Hinata waves him over as Komaeda blinks, eyes wide. Once. Twice. “You remember Nagito, right? I ran into him just today.”

“…Komaeda Nagito.” Kamukura nods at him coolly. “It has been a while. You look sickly and pale. Careless as ever, I see.”

“H-Hey, that’s uncalled for, Izuru…!”

“A-Ah, um, no… It… It’s alright…” Color was rising in Komaeda’s cheeks, and Hinata nearly did a double take. “Wow… Izuru-kun… You’ve really grown into a handsome man.”

**_S-Seriously?!_ **

Kamukura undoes his ponytail, and Komaeda nearly squeaks as just a little bit of Hinata dies internally.

_That’s…seriously not fair…!_

 

**Braiding**

“If your headaches get that bad, then just a loose braid should be fine, right?”

“Mm.”

“It would also keep it from your face. And it might actually look nice on you.”

“Mmmm.”

“Izuru… I’m not going to do it for you. You’re fucking grown.”

“Mmmmmmmm.”

“Urgh. God. You’re so spoiled.”

Hinata sighs as his brother plops down before him. He gets to work braiding, irritated with how thick the other’s hair is, but managing all the same thanks to years of practice.

_When we were kids, Izuru made me braid it all the time. Even though the first few attempts weren’t…great. Izuru was picky about who touched his hair, and he was also too lazy to braid it himself. Well. I say was, but he’s still like that._

The more things changed, he supposed.

Izuru seemed to be close to dozing off. Irritating. It’s not like there’s anything fun about sitting there while your hapless brother braided your hair. Urgh.

_He’s so beyond difficult…and I’m never going to be able to escape him. Not his presence, and especially not his shadow._

Thinking about it like this, he really was bitter about it. And he really did resent Izuru for it. Izuru, who seemed blissfully oblivious and completely relaxed in a way that was…uncommon for how much work the other was often stuck doing. From professors to their parents to their peers.

_…he overworks himself sometimes._

Hinata bristles at the thought.

_Does he think I’ll always be here to take care of him?! He’s totally taking advantage of me…! Oi, I have a life outside of you, you know…!_

He wants to yell and maybe even pull Izuru’s hair to get him to wake up and look at him, really  _look at him_ , but–

_“It must be nice.” Komaeda’s smile back then was wistful and envious. “Having someone who loves you unconditionally and always wants to be with you.”_

In the end, Hinata bites his tongue as he always does, and finishes up braiding, tying it neatly and tidily. Like this, his brother really did look a lot more professional. Maybe even elegant.

_Hah… God… Lucky you… Even Nagito can’t keep his eyes away…_

“Alright. Done.”

Izuru seems to perk up, tossing him a glance over his shoulder, nodding with an unreadable expression.

“Thank you, Hajime.”

“It’s nothing,” Hinata says, digging his nails into his palms. “It’s really, really nothing.”

 

**Possess**

Hinata was sort of mindlessly button-mashing on his phone when he heard the door open. Without even turning his head, he simply remarked, “You’re back home late. You weren’t stuck with extra work again, right?”

“No,” Izuru responds, slipping off his shoes and hanging up his coat. “I was on a date, actually.”

Hinata pauses, and somehow he knows before Izuru even says it.

“With Komaeda Nagito.”

“I…see…” Somehow, he lost all motivation for his game, so he just swipes out. “How was it?”

“Pleasant,” Izuru said. “Nagito has always been so amiable. Even as a child. He was our only friend, after all.”

Because he was the only one unbothered by Izuru. Hinata remembered well. Hell, even when Izuru glared at him, he was nonplussed. Nagito was and still is…a very chill person.

“I didn’t think you’d be interested in him,” he mutters almost bitterly. “You only really tolerated him when we were kids, right?”

“He grew on me, I admit,” Izuru answered. “But of course, I did not care much for how much he clung to you. That said, he is much less needy now. So tolerating him is much easier.”

“That’s a shitty way to talk about your date.” Hinata straightens up, suddenly on edge. “Izuru… I swear to god, you better not be playing with Nagito’s feelings. He’s gotten a little eccentric, but he’s a nice guy and he was our friend. If you’re actually going to date him, it better be because you’re  _serious_  about him.”

For a moment, Izuru was quiet, humming as he undid his braid.

“I mean it,” Hinata hissed. “I’ll punch you if you hurt him. I really fucking mean it.”

“…he’s only been back for a few weeks and you’re just as protective of him now as you were back then. They do say that first love cuts the deepest.”

Despite himself, as pathetic as it was, Hinata flushed terribly.

“T-That… That has nothing to do with anything…!”

“Doesn’t it?” Izuru asked. “No, Hajime, I know you. I’ve known you for years. You really are smitten with him. Alas, he is unaware. I suppose, as your loving brother, I should break things off immediately, but…”

“What the hell are you getting at?” Hinata scowled. “Oi, Izuru…”

“Nagito said my eyes were pretty. He said that when we were kids, as well.”

Hinata blinked.

“…it would be nice, to stay with both him and you,” Izuru murmurs, playing with his hair. “I thought I should make my intentions clear. After all, you are my brother. The only one I can tell secrets to.”

Hinata bites his lower lip at that, eyes shimmering.

“Resent me if you want,” Izuru said. “I already know you do. I do not mind. As long as you stay. I want Nagito to stay as well. Like he did. When we were kids.”

_Izuru… Fucking seriously…_

“If Nagito is open, I can also usher him towards you, if you like.”

“…I don’t even want to talk about this.”

_Fucking hell… This is the worst…_

“Understood,” Izuru said. “Do not worry. I will treat him well.”

**_The absolute fucking worst._ **


End file.
